"I lied in my ad. I hate Wallace Stevens."
Tags:poet, poets, poetry, poem, poems, lie, lies, white lie, white lies, personal ad, personal ads, profile, profiles, dating profile, dating profiles, online profile, online profiles, date, dates, well-read, ad, ads, modern poet, modern poets, modern poetry, wallace stevens, pose, poses, poseur, poseurs, pretend, pretending, pretentious, pretentiousness, writer, writers, author, authors
"In my ad, I lied about my age."
"You don't sound anything like your e-mail."
Tags:email, emails, e-mail, e-mails, electronic mail, electronic mails, communication, communications, communicating, date, dates, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, blind date, blind dates, blind-date, blind-dates, dating, first date, first dates, dating profile, communication, communications, first impression, first impressions
"Ken bats left-handed, enjoys cultural as well as outdoor activities, and seeks a sensitive non-smoking woman for a lasting partnership that includes long walks, good music, and fielding practice."
Tags:dating, marriage, relationships, television, entertainment, media, baseball, sports, fielding practice, long walks, good music, lasting partnership, sensitive non-smoking woman, personal ad, personal ads, statistic, statistics, batter, batters, batting, batting practice, music lover, music lovers, dating profile, dating profiles, baseball lover, baseball lovers, baseball player, baseball players, mankoff
"If they say 'Rubensesque' in their profile, they mean they're a Botero."
Tags:rubenesque, euphemisms, ruben, voluptuous, heavy, heavyset, body shame, body shames, body shaming, fat, fatness, fat shame, fat shames, botero, fernando botero, online dating, online date, online dates, internet dating, dating profile, dating profiles, profile picture, profile pictures, flatter, flatters, flattering, pitfall, pitfalls, date, dates, sex appeal, art history, artist, artists, fine artist, fine artists
"In your ad you said you'd grown up in the shade of coolibah tree. How so?"
"Gee, you didn't mention your wart in your personal."
Tags:wart, warts, online profile, online profiles, personal ad, personal ads, personal advertisement, personal advertisements, blemish, blemishes, flaw, flaws, flawed, best foot forward, first date, first dates, blind date, blind dates, dating profile, dating profiles, internet dating, witch, witches, witchcraft
"It's like the minute they see 'Charlie Manson' on your dating profile all you get are the crazy ones."
Tags:dating profile, dating profiles, online date, online dates, internet dating, website, websites, red flag, red flags, warning, warnings, social pariah, social pariahs, outcast, outcasts, warning sign, warning signs, date, dates, dating, single, single life, gripe, gripes, griping, judgment, judgments, judgement, judgements, instant judgement, instant judgements, warn, warns, warning, warnings, concern, concerns, concerned, blind date, blind dates
"My computer is saying, 'You, you, you!'"
Tags:online dating, online date, online dates, internet date, internet dates, internet dating, dating profile, dating profiles, online profile, online profiles, matchmaker, matchmakers, match-maker, match-makers, match-making, matchmaking, romance, romances, romantic, romantics, computer, algorithm, algorithms, dating site, dating sites, dating website, dating websites
"He was nothing like his profile."
Tags:dating, date, dates, online dating, o.l.d., dating profile, dating profiles, dating app, dating apps, caveman, cavemen, cavewomen, cavewomen, prehistoric man, stone age man, hunter-gatherer, hunter-gatherers, femaile friendship, female friendships, chat, chatting, talking, conversation, conversations, anachronistic, anachronism, false impression, false impressions
"Last week we simultaneously deleted our Tinder profiles. So we're practically engaged now."
Tags:online dating, dating profile, dating profiles, internet dating, dating app, dating apps, dating site, dating website, love life, commitment, commitments, committed, girlfriends, boyfriend, boyfriends, romance, romances, romantic gesture, romantic gestures, committed relation, committed relationships
Wolf Connection: Lone Wolf. . . but doesn't want to be.
Tags:dating website, dating websites, dating profile, dating profiles, love life, love-life, lone wolf, lone wolves, wolf, wolves, bachelor, bachelors, lonely, loneliness, looking for love, lover, lovers, boyfriend, boyfriends, dating site, dating sites, pack animal, pack animals, companionship, companion, companions
"My webcam is on the fritz. Let me email you a photo of myself at twenty one and in the best shape of my life."
"You look exactly like you DNA profile picture."