"I can tell you exactly what he was compensating for."
"I think Brad would've wanted us to do some lunges."
Tags:death, dead, funeral, funerals, burial, burials, funeral service, funeral services, burial service, burial services, pallbearer, pallbearers, casket, caskets, coffin, coffins, last wish, last wishes, last request, last requests, personal trainer, personal trainers, personal training, exercise, fitness, exercises, lunges, health, gym, gyms, fitness club, fitness clubs, health club, health clubs, fitness centre, fitness centres, fitness center, fitness centers
A tombstone in a cemetery reads "Prentiss W. Burchmeyer - Born July 16, 1908, Dined at the White House May 3, 1984, Died March 30 1987".
Tags:death, dead, cemetery, cemeteries, graveyard, graveyards, tombstone, tombstones, headstone, headstones, gravestone, gravestone, grave, graves, important, importance, important dates, birth, born, died, dinner at the white house, white house, dinner, dinners, epitaph, epitaphs, inscription, inscriptions, life events, life event, important even, important events, honor, honors, honored, honour, honours, honoured
"He died young."
Tags:history, historical, egypt, ancient, ancient egypt, egyptian, pyramids, giza, pyramid, tomb, tombs, grave, graves, death, dead, young, youth, died young, age, ages, child, children, kid, kids, pharaoh, pharaohs, king, kings, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, small, tiny, mini, tourist, tourists, tourism, archaeology, archaeologist, archaeologists, archeology, archeologist, archeologists
Prizes Include: A New Car, A Maui Vacation And The Grim Reaper
Tags:game, games, game show, gameshows, gameshow, death, dead, die, died, dying, dies, grim, grim reaper, reaper, reapers, tv, t v, tv show, television, live tv, audience, studio, studio audience, prize, prizes, vacation, vacations, random, randomness, chance, chances, probability, probabilities, car, cars, door number, choose, choice, choices, fate, fated, doom, doomed
"Welcome to the after-party."
Tags:hell, hellish, underworld, the underworld, death, dead, dying, devil, devils, demon, demons, the devil, religion, religious, religious imagery, imagery, christian, christian ideals, party, parties, after party, after-party, age, ageing, aged, play on words, word play, word-play, afterlife, after life, sins, consequences, vice, vices
"I'm getting your dear, departed husband—he can't believe you paid forty-five dollars for this."
Tags:fortune-telling, fortunetelling, fortune-teller, fortune-tellers, fortuneteller, fortunetellers, fortune teller, fortune tellers, psychic, psychics, client, clients, customer, customers, crystal ball, crystal balls, crystallomancy, crystal-gazing, scrying, vision, visions, divination, seer, seers, occult, supernatural, dead, death, spirit, spirits, seance, seances, widow, widows, husband, husbands, ghost, ghosts, fraud, scam, scams, wasting money, waste of money
A man reads the obituary and compares his age to the deceased.
Tags:age, obit, obits, obituary, obituaries, dead, dying, die, dies, mortality, mortal, mortals, long life, long lives, short life, short lives, compare, compares, feel your age, feeling your age, ageing, aging, grow old, grows old, growing old, comparison, comparisons, insecure, insecurity, insecurities
"Most of all, he'll be remembered for his irrepressible spirit."
Tags:funeral, funerary, funerals, funeral service, burial, burials, death, dead, corpse, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour, mourn, mourning, family, rigor mortis, rigor, mortis, spirit, spirited, determination, determined, optimism, optimistic, glass half full, optimists, optimist, ok, okay, outlook, outlooks, positive outlook, positive outlooks
"Now you've got the hang of it!"
Tags:animal, animals, snake, snakes, scare, scary, bite, bitten, snake bite, snake bites, snakebite, snakebites, poison, poisoned, poisonous, venom, venomous, strike, attack, dead, death, child, children, kid, kids, parent, parents, parenting, father, fathers, mother, mothers, motherhood, fatherhood, proud parent, proud parents, son, sons, daughter, daughter, teacher, teachers, teaching, life lessons, life lesson, get the hang of it, got the hang of it
"Someone's misfiled Harrington."
Tags:filing, filed, files, filing cabinet, filing system, misfile, misfiled, offices, office politics, dead, deceased, died, body, bodies, corpse, morgue, morgues, mortuary, mortuaries, post mortem, mob, mobs, mobster, mobsters, mafia, mafioso, mafiosos, big boss, administrative, admin, administration, administrative work
"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."
Tags:death, dead, funeral, funerals, burial, burials, funeral service, funeral services, burial service, burial services, last wish, last wishes, last request, last requests, coffin, coffins, casket, caskets, pallbearer, pallbearers, sport, sports, winter sports, bobsled, bobsleds, bobsledder, bobsledders, bobsled team, bobsled teams, bobsledding, track, tracks, bob sled, bob sleds
"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."
"His final wish was that all his medical bills be paid promptly."
Tags:medicine, medicines, medic, medical, medics, medical joke, modern medicine, modern world, exploit, exploitation, consumerism, consumer, capitalist, capitalism, private, private healthcare, healthcare, health, public healthcare, medicare, medi care, nhs, national health service, pro nhs, pro medicare, national health care, obamacare, death, dead, family, bitter humor, bitter humour, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour, console, consoling, consolation, intensive care, sick, sickness, ill, illness, illnesses, sicknesses, doctor, doctors, surgeon, surgeons, surgery
"Sit down, Peter, you can't object at a funeral."
"Why would He take someone so toned?"
Tags:dark humour, dark humor, black humor, black humour, dead, die, died, dying, death, funeral, funerals, wake, wakes, grave, graves, graveyard, cemetery, cemeteries, weight lifter, weight lifting, weight lifters, fitness, fit, muscles, muscular, toned, attraction, eye candy, health, headstone, headstones, gravestone, gravestones
"Sure, I wanted my hair back, but not my seventies hair."
Tags:hair, haircuts, haircut, hair style, hair styles, style, styles, fashion, men's fashion, fashionable, out of fashion, out of style, outdated, seventies, 1970's, 70's, afro, afros, angel, angels, dead, death, dying, died, heaven, be careful what you wish for, bald, balding, hair thinning, receding hairline, hairline, big hair
"Take some identification with you in case you die."
Tags:dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, gallows humour, gallows humor, dead, deadpan, cycling, cycle, bicycle, bike, biking, bicycles, cyclist, cyclists, cyclist humor, cyclist humour, id, identification, identity, id card, proof of identity, old age, old, age, elderly, exercise, exercising, middle age, middle aged, middle ages, mid life crisis, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, death, dead, died, dying, die, marriage, married, married life
"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, waiting area, waiting areas, waiting room, waiting rooms, death, dead, relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, too late, dead husband, dead husbands, widow, widows, unhealthy, fitness, exercise, exercising, gym equipment, exercise equipment, exercise machine, exercise machines, exercise bike, exercise bikes, bad news, obesity crisis, obesity, overweight
"Are you there now, Linda? Are you in that happy, safe place that brings you peace and assurance, and deep contentment?"
Tags:therapy, therapeutic, therapist, therapists, counselling, counselor, counsellor, psychology, psychiatrist, psychiatry, psychiatric, psychiatrics, psychiatrists, psychologists, psychological, funeral, funerals, death, dead, deceased, respect the dead, respect for the dead, happy place, safe place, happiness, schadenfreude, revenge, vengeful, disturbed, disturb, disturbed, mental illness, mental health, health, healthy, bad intentions, bad, evil, visualization, visualisation, hypnosis, hypnotic
"Gee, I'm sorry this had to happen on our first date!"
Tags:date, dating, dates, first dates, first date, nature, natural disaster, disaster, disasters, explode, explosion, explosions, doomsday, doomsayer, end times, end of the world, apocalypse, apocalyptic, destruction, world ending, optimism, optimist, polite, politeness, etiquette, least of our worries, least of our problems, problem, problems, cataclysm, cataclysmic, catastrophe, catastrophic, death, dead, dying, died
"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."
Tags:death, dead, die, dies, dying, grim, grim reaper, reapers, reaper, creepy, scythe, scythes, soul, souls, eternal soul, underworld, religion, religious, religious imagery, modern, modern life, unexpected, guest, guests, doctor, doctors, knife, knives, jewish, jewish people, party, parties, dinner party, dinner parties, bar mitzvah, knives, sharp, cut, cutting, circumcision, shpasik, jtoons
"We find pizza softens the blow of bad news."
Tags:bad, bad news, bearer of bad news, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, hospital, hospitals, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, death, dead, black humor, black humour, comfort food, comforting, comfort, food, pizza, pizzas, dark humor, dark humour, gallows humor, gallows humour, death, dead, died, dying, terminal, terminal illness, medical, medicine
"Before we continue, is there anyone else present who has never seen a dead person?"
Tags:death, dead, funeral, funerals, funeral service, funeral services, wake, wakes, memorial service, memorial services, memorial, memorials, casket, caskets, coffin, coffins, open-casket, dead body, dead bodies, corpse, corpse, new experience, new experiences, interruption, interruptions, interrupting, curious, curiosity, black humour, black humor, dark humor, dark humour
Tombstone with a barcode on it
Tags:grave, graves, graveyard, graveyards, cemetery, cemeteries, gravestone, gravestones, headstone, headstones, tombstone, tombstones, universal product code, upc, upc code, u.p.c., barcode, barcodes, bar code, bar codes, product code, product codes, code, codes, price, prices, price sticker, price stickers, value, values, modern life, technology, death, dead, commercialisation, commercialisation, consumerism