Heaven- A Gated Community
Tags:heaven, gates of heaven, christianity, christian, judaism, gated community, gated communities, exclusive community, exclusive communities, sins, denied entry, denied access, death, security, secure community, secure communities, wealth, privilege, property, properties, expensive property, expensive properties, exclusive property, expensive housing, exclusive housing, exclusive, exclusion, exclusive properties, unaffordable, unaffordable property, unaffordable properties, unaffordable housing, real estate, sign, signs, signage keep out, gate, gates, ornate gates, secure, protected, rejected, protect, protection, reject, rejection, pearly gates, pearly gate
"I can tell you exactly what he was compensating for."
"I think Brad would've wanted us to do some lunges."
Tags:death, dead, funeral, funerals, burial, burials, funeral service, funeral services, burial service, burial services, pallbearer, pallbearers, casket, caskets, coffin, coffins, last wish, last wishes, last request, last requests, personal trainer, personal trainers, personal training, exercise, fitness, exercises, lunges, health, gym, gyms, fitness club, fitness clubs, health club, health clubs, fitness centre, fitness centres, fitness center, fitness centers
"Call my attorney and say that I killed Ted in self-defense. Call my publicist and say that I wish Ted the best of luck in all his future endeavors."
A tombstone in a cemetery reads "Prentiss W. Burchmeyer - Born July 16, 1908, Dined at the White House May 3, 1984, Died March 30 1987".
Tags:death, dead, cemetery, cemeteries, graveyard, graveyards, tombstone, tombstones, headstone, headstones, gravestone, gravestone, grave, graves, important, importance, important dates, birth, born, died, dinner at the white house, white house, dinner, dinners, epitaph, epitaphs, inscription, inscriptions, life events, life event, important even, important events, honor, honors, honored, honour, honours, honoured
"All dogs go to Heaven, because we're not the ones who screwed up."
"He died young."
Tags:history, historical, egypt, ancient, ancient egypt, egyptian, pyramids, giza, pyramid, tomb, tombs, grave, graves, death, dead, young, youth, died young, age, ages, child, children, kid, kids, pharaoh, pharaohs, king, kings, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, small, tiny, mini, tourist, tourists, tourism, archaeology, archaeologist, archaeologists, archeology, archeologist, archeologists
Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"
Tags:religion, religious, death, life after death, heaven, angel, angels, clouds, self-serve, pharmacy, pharmacies, chemist, chemists, chemist's, pharmacists, pharmacists, drugstore, drugstores, drug, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical, medicine, medicines, meds, prescription, prescriptions, prescribed, medical, drug abuse, medicine abuse, prescription abuse, pharmaceutical abuse, addiction, addict, addicts, healthcare, health care, antidepressant, antidepressants, pill, pills
"If you laugh at all of God's jokes, he's never going to learn what's funny."
"Uh-oh, your coverage doesn't seem to include illness."
Tags:medical, word play, problems, insurance, health, fitness, disease, death, medicine, doctors, insurance coverage, health insurance, healthcare, insurance industry, insurance industries, bad coverage, bad insurance, american healthcare, american healthcare system, affordable, aca, affordable care act, obamacare, trumpcare, mankoff
Here Lies Frederick Jones - Verbal: 680....Math: 720.
Tags:death, cemeteries, scholastic aptitude test, sat, sats, s.a.t., test, tests, exam, exams, examination, examinations, education, incompetent, incompetents, college, high school, tombstone, tombstones, headstone, headstones, cemetery, cemeteries, graveyard, graveyards, grave, graves, epitaph, epitaphs, eulogy, eulogies, obituary, obituaries, exam results, test results, sats results
Prizes Include: A New Car, A Maui Vacation And The Grim Reaper
Tags:game, games, game show, gameshows, gameshow, death, dead, die, died, dying, dies, grim, grim reaper, reaper, reapers, tv, t v, tv show, television, live tv, audience, studio, studio audience, prize, prizes, vacation, vacations, random, randomness, chance, chances, probability, probabilities, car, cars, door number, choose, choice, choices, fate, fated, doom, doomed
"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."
Tags:ghost, ghosts, summer movie, summer movies, summer blockbuster, summer blockbusters, spirit, spirits, ghost story, ghost stories, die, dies, dying, death, lose, loses, losing, sore loser, sore losers, loser, losers, join, joins, if you can't be 'em join 'em, expression, expressions, saying, sayings
"What can I do? Fuel prices are so high."
"Is there any chance of getting my testicles back?"
"Welcome to the after-party."
Tags:hell, hellish, underworld, the underworld, death, dead, dying, devil, devils, demon, demons, the devil, religion, religious, religious imagery, imagery, christian, christian ideals, party, parties, after party, after-party, age, ageing, aged, play on words, word play, word-play, afterlife, after life, sins, consequences, vice, vices
"Did you bring a duplicate copy of your 'Times' obit with you?"
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, afterlife, heaven, heaven's gate, entrance to heaven, st. peter's gate, saint peter's gate, pearly gates, st. peter, saint peter, angel, angels, paperwork, document, documents, proof, evidence, death certificate, death certificates, government, governments, bureaucracy, duplicate, copy, copies, obituary, obituaries, obit, obits, news, newspaper, newspapers, media, getting into heaven
"I'm getting your dear, departed husband—he can't believe you paid forty-five dollars for this."
Tags:fortune-telling, fortunetelling, fortune-teller, fortune-tellers, fortuneteller, fortunetellers, fortune teller, fortune tellers, psychic, psychics, client, clients, customer, customers, crystal ball, crystal balls, crystallomancy, crystal-gazing, scrying, vision, visions, divination, seer, seers, occult, supernatural, dead, death, spirit, spirits, seance, seances, widow, widows, husband, husbands, ghost, ghosts, fraud, scam, scams, wasting money, waste of money
"Most of all, he'll be remembered for his irrepressible spirit."
Tags:funeral, funerary, funerals, funeral service, burial, burials, death, dead, corpse, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour, mourn, mourning, family, rigor mortis, rigor, mortis, spirit, spirited, determination, determined, optimism, optimistic, glass half full, optimists, optimist, ok, okay, outlook, outlooks, positive outlook, positive outlooks
"Now you've got the hang of it!"
Tags:animal, animals, snake, snakes, scare, scary, bite, bitten, snake bite, snake bites, snakebite, snakebites, poison, poisoned, poisonous, venom, venomous, strike, attack, dead, death, child, children, kid, kids, parent, parents, parenting, father, fathers, mother, mothers, motherhood, fatherhood, proud parent, proud parents, son, sons, daughter, daughter, teacher, teachers, teaching, life lessons, life lesson, get the hang of it, got the hang of it
"Hi, I'm your court-appointed lawyer-whoa! Don't tell me you've been executed already."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, court-appointed, public defender, public defenders, defence, defense, client, clients, defendant, defendants, jail, jail, prison, prisons, criminal, criminals, convict, convicts, death row, death penalty, capital punishment, execution, executions, executed, cell, cells, empty, gone, disappeared, too late, bad timing, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, death, black humour, black humor, dark humour, dark humor
"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."
Tags:death, dead, funeral, funerals, burial, burials, funeral service, funeral services, burial service, burial services, last wish, last wishes, last request, last requests, coffin, coffins, casket, caskets, pallbearer, pallbearers, sport, sports, winter sports, bobsled, bobsleds, bobsledder, bobsledders, bobsled team, bobsled teams, bobsledding, track, tracks, bob sled, bob sleds
"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."
"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."