"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."
Tags:judge, judges, court, courtrooms, courtroom, law, laws, crimes, criminals, criminal, trial, trials, lawyer, lawyers, defense, defence, defense attorney, prosecutor, solicitor, barrister, trial lawyer, defense attorneys, judging, ruling, rules, indignant, individual, individuals, character, characters, trial lawyers, defendant, defendants, guilty, not guilty, guilt, jury, honor, juries, weak defense
"Let's be reasonable. Just approve my client, and we'll all be spared a lot of nasty litigation."
Tags:st. peter, saint peter, representation, legal representation, lawyer, lawyers, defense attorney, defense attorneys, attorney, attorneys, litigation, lawsuit, lawsuits, intimidate, intimidates, intimidation, intimidating, client, clients, veiled threat, veiled threats, judgement, judgements, judgment, judgments, judge, judges, representative, representatives
"I see. And precisely what methods did you use to determine that my client was a 'bad boy'?"
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, santa, santa claus, father christmas, st. nick, st. nicholas, saint nick, saint nicholas, bad boy, bad boys, bad guy, bad guys, defense attorney, defense attorneys, trial, trials, naughty boys, naughty childrens, santa's list, defendant, defendants, christmas, xmas, x-mas, christmas season
"You can't plead cute."
Tags:plead, pleads, plea, pleas, plea deal, plea deals, plea bargain, plea bargains, court, courts, courtroom, courtroom, innocent, innocence, innocent look, innocent looks, puppy, puppies, dog, dogs, adorable, verdict, verdicts, trial, trials, defendant, defendants, defense attorney, defense attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, soulful, big eyes, big-eyed, doe-eyed
"I'll work on the appeal. You try to escape."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, defense lawyer, defense lawyers, defense attorney, defense attorneys, appeal, appeals, guilty verdict, guilty verdicts, defendant, defendants, convict, convicts, escape plan, prison break, prison breaks, escape plans, jail break, jail breaks
"I shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. After that, law school was pretty much a given."
"'Is it right? ... Is it fair?' Get a grip Carlton - we're a law firm!"
Tags:law firm, law firms, moral, morality, ethics, ethical, right, rightness, correct, immoral, immorality, amoral, amorality, fairness, right and wrong, right or wrong, moral judgment, moral judgments, moral judgement, moral judgements, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, defense attorney, defense attorneys
"Did you join the testimony-of-the-month club?"
"How did this case ever get so far?"
"Bad news. The mailman is going to attend the parole-board hearing."
Tags:parole, mailman, mailmen, mail man, mail men, parole hearing, parole hearings, dog, dogs, enemy, enemies, lawyer, lawyers, parole violation, parole violations, assault, assaults, attack, attacks, attacking, canine, canines, hearing, hearings, attorney, attorneys, defense attorney, defense attorneys, inmate, inmates, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners
"Come now, give the system a chance."
Tags:hammer, hammers, nail, nails, predator, predators, prey, unfair, trial, trials, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, bias, biased, black lives matter, victim, victims, defendant, defendants, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, defense attorney, defense attorneys, unequal, unequal justice, justice system, minority, minorities, human rights, fair trial, fair trials, constitutional right
"Don't make me come down there."
Tags:prosecutor, prosecutors, witness, witnesses, trial, trials, lawyer, lawyers, defense attorney, defense attorneys, defense, judge, judges, parent, parents, parenting, immature, immaturity, childish, childishness, taunt, taunts, taunting, attorney, attorneys, backseat, road trip, road trips, car trip, car trips, long drive, long drives, restless, restlessness
"You're going to do time, but I'm trying to get it in dog years."
Tags:dog years, prison, prisons, prison sentence, prison sentences, prison sentencing, plea, pleas, plea bargain, plea bargains, plea bargaining, do time, doing time, shorten, shortens, shortened sentence, shortened sentences, years, inmate, inmates, jail, jailed, defense lawyer, defense lawyers, defense attorney, defense attorneys
Tags:lawsuit, lawsuits, frivolous lawsuit, frivolous lawsuits, ambulance chaser, ambulance chasers, defense attorney, defense attorneys, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, hipster, hipsters, food truck, food trucks, mobile, mobility, class action, sue, sues, suing, suing culture, lawsuit culture, legal culture
"Your innermost feelings are fascinating, but remember, I'm your attorney."
"As a mitigating circumstance, may I say that my client's getaway car was a hybrid."
Tags:mitigating circumstance, mitigating circumstances, getaway car, getaway cars, environmental responsibility, environmentally responsible, responsible, getaway, getaways, hybrid, hybrids, hybrid car, hybrid cars, car, car, plea bargain, plea bargains, defense attorney, defense attorneys, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, trial, trials
"I find in these cases that the best defense is a pack of lies."
Fenton, Griff, Wintz & Barkins - Attorneys-at-law: The Legal We Do Immediately, The Illegal Takes a Little Longer
Tags:legal practice, legal practices, private practice, private practices, shady, shady business, shady businesses, legality, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, business practice, business practices, lawbreaker, lawbreakers, lawbreaking, break the law, breaks the law, breaking the law, law office, law offices, defense attorney, defense attorneys, motto, mottos, slogan, slogans, unethical, moral ambiguity, moral ambiguities, morally ambiguous
"Unfortunately, the law allows me no leeway in the case of an acquittal. I have to let you go."
Tags:law, laws, court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, acquittal, acquit, defendant, defendants, defense, defense attorney, attorney, attorneys, defense attorneys, lucky, leeway, bitter, bitterness, innocent, innocence, crimes, criminal, criminals, guilt, guilty, disappointed, disappointment, exoneration, judge, judges, judged
"My clients object to the term 'hit men.' They like to think of themselves as a well-regulated militia."
Tags:second amendment, terminology, political correctness, politically correct, term, terms, hitman, hitmen, hit man, hit men, militia, well-regulated militia, 2nd amendment, bill of rights, constitution, u.s. constitution, preferred term, preferred terms, trial, trials, defense attorney, defense attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, representation, representative, representatives, gun nut, gun nuts, gun, guns, gun culture
"Legally, I have the right to talk as slowly and boringly about all your options as I want."
Tags:therapy, therapist, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, shrink, shrinks, mental health, analyst, analysts, psychotherapy, psychology, psychoanalysis, headshrinker, headshrinkers, therapy session, therapy sessions, solicitor, solicitors, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, barrister, barristers, counsel, counselor, prosecutors, defense attorney, defense attorneys, accountant, accountants, financial advisor, financial advisors, bookkeeping, bookkeepers, bookkeeper, options, choices, advice, advise, advising, advisor, couples, couples counseling, technicality, technicalities, reproductive endocrinologist, reproductive endocrinology, fertility, fertility clinic, infertility, slow, slowly, slowpoke, slowpokes
"Carl! I thought I'd find you here."
Tags:prison, prisoners, prisoner, inmate, inmates, correctional facility, correctional facilities, jail, jails, jailer, jailers, attorney, attorneys, representation, representative, representative, legal representation, defense attorney, defense attorneys, client, clients, casual, casualness, welcome, greet, greets, greeting
"I'm his biological lawyer."
Tags:lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, defense attorney, defense attorneys, genetic, genetics, biological, father, fathers, parent, parents, visit, visits, visiting, visitation rights, prison, prisons, inmate, inmates, jail, jailed, representation, representative, legal representative, legal representatives, likeness, twin, twins, double, doubles, clone, clones, look, similar look, similar looks, doppelganger, doppelgangers
"My client demands that he be treated no better than any other celebrity."
Tags:celebrity, celebrities, trial, trials, treatment, unfair, injustice, injustices, rich, riches, tiered system, justice system, defense attorney, defense attorneys, attorney, attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, celebrity client, celebrity clients, special treatment, fair, fairness, fair trial, unfair, unfair trial, unfairness, american justice, judicial branch, demand, demands, entitled, entitlement, entitlement complex, upper class
"Wait, what if we convinced the jury that, while they're wasting their time with me, the real Socrates is still at large?"
Tags:deceive, deceives, deceiving, deception, deceptions, jury, juries, trial, trials, trial of socrates, trials of socrates, death of socrates, painting, paintings, jaques-louis david, david, lie, lies, lying, liar, liars, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, defense attorney, defense attorneys, painter, painters, art history, art historian, art historians, frame, frames, framing, mislead, misleads, misleading, dishonest, dishonesty