Defense Lawyer Cartoons

"I'll work on the appeal. You try to escape."

"I had a pretty sleazy lawyer, but evidently not sleazy enough."

"You're going to do time, but I'm trying to get it in dog years."

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

"I find in these cases that the best defense is a pack of lies."

"I'm not a lawyer. I'm just drafting."

"A unique and stirring plea, counselor."

"Melanie, find me a little pro-bono case to cleanse my palate."

Jumping Into the Season's First Pile of Subpoenas

"Great news, Phil! The governor has determined that you don't have a high enough I.Q. to merit execution."

"Then I thought, Why should I spend it all on fancy lawyers?"

"Requesting a postponement, Your Honor, until the mood of the county is less pro-metermaid."

"You have a pretty good case, Mr. Pitkin. How much justice can you afford?"

"As soon as I get the paperwork together I'll file an appeal. Sometimes there are just not enough hours in the day."

"If you'd like I could throw a few criminals your way."

"Have you, or any of your acquaintances, ever been described as 'frolicsome'?"

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"Oh, very well - make that life with the possibility of parole."

"I know he cheated on me because of his childhood abuse, but I shot him because of mine."

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

"I'm not technically a quote-unquote lawyer, but I do own a paper shredder and have visited several prisons."

Great with juries

"If you're going to plead insanity I don't want you dressing like me."

"Don't be shocked during the trial. The security camera adds ten pounds."