Depressing Cartoons

"Could we up the dosage? I still have feelings."

He Watched Sports

"Every year around this time, I ask myself, 'Did I make a dent?'"

"But think of all the things you're not going to die of."

The News Cycle

Older than Nolan Ryan and still pitching

"Poor Henry - he never returned from the All-Star break."

"We'd like you to leave out the poorer, sickness, and death parts - they're a little dark."

"You're amazing, Hargrave - fair weather or foul, good times or bad, boom or recession, you're always the same."

Russian Soap Opera

"Of course you're depressed. You're tuned to a twenty-four-hour all-news station."

"Elsie is still waiting for postmenopausal zest to kick in."

"I'm starting to wonder if my story is ever going to be uplifting."

"Don't worry we'll medicate you through the probationary period."

"You can wrap it up in a pretty package, but it's still life."

"Michiko Kakutani called it a good read."

"Did you ever have one of those days when you felt you would never be soft and fluffy again?"

"It means taking a healthy pay cut, but my dad has decided to stay at home and lock himself in the basement."

"The fresh mountain air is starting to depress me."

Greetings From Downer Beach.

"You seem depressed."

a Lump of coal

"Fellow M.B.A. graduates of the Class of '91—hey, what can I say?"

"Isn't it nice, Harry, that we can sit here together for a whole evening and not feel we have to make conversation?"

"My goodness, Marion. Our dishes are so spotless, I can see deep within my hollow, tormented soul!"