"I'm afraid you're retaining lawyers."
"The machine's done something really weird to Mr. Hendrickson."
"The ringing in your ears-I think I can help."
Tags:tinnitus, ring, rings, ringing, ear, ears, ear trouble, ear troubles, ear problem, ear problems, ear infection, ear infections, cow, cows, cattle, cowbell, cowbells, cow bell, cow bells, bell, bells, diagnosis, diagnoses, checkup, checkups, check up, check ups, doctor, doctors, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, family doctor, family doctors
"This patient has a rare form of medical insurance."
Tags:health insurance, insurance, insurances, health plan, health plans, healthcare plan, healthcare plans, health-care, healthcare coverage, health-care cover, health-care coverage, health care cover, healthcare cover, doctor, doctors, medical, medicine, diagnosis, diagnose, medicaid, hospital, hospitals, hospital bed, priority, priorities
"We think it has something to do with your genome."
Tags:doctors, doctors and patients, genome, dna, genetic engineering, insects, sci fi, medical, problems, modern life, modern living, genetic abnormality, genetic abnormalities, genetic illness, genetic illnesses, doctor's appointment, doctor's appointments, gene, genes, kafka, kafkaesque, franz kafka, metamorphosis, diagnosis, diagnoses, mankoff
"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, diagnosis, diagnoses, treatment, treatments, cure, cures, drug, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical, medicines, meds, prescription, prescriptions, pill, pills, antibiotic, antibiotics, infection, infections, strategy, strategies, military, general, generals, officer, officers, troop, troops, war, wars, plan of attack, answer, answers
"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."
Tags:in vitro, in vitro test, in vitro testing, pregnancy, pregnancies, pegnant, liar, liars, impuslive liar, impulsive liars, congenital, congenital liar, congenital liars, genetic illness, genetic illnesses, genetics, diagnosis, ob-gyn, ob-gyns, obstetrician, obstetricians, gynecologists, parent, parents, parenting, baby girl, baby girls, lie, liar, liars, fib, fibs, fibbing, bad news, diagnosis, diagnoses
"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."
"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."
Tags:early detection, diagnosis, diagnoses, medical advance, medical advances, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, uncurable, condition, conditions, pearly gates, afterlife, st. peter, saint peter, heaven, heaven's gate, rare disease, rare diseases, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, sickness, sick, prolonging life
"Your skin is enlarged."
"You have a condition whose name is very hard to remember."
"It is thornlike in appearance, but I need to order a battery of tests."
"You have irritable-spouse syndrome."
Tags:irritable spouse, marriage, marriages, spouse, spouses, husband, husbands, wife, wives, doctor, doctors, md, mds, diagnosis, medical diagnosis, sham diagnosis, wrong diagnosis, incorrect diagnosis, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, counselor, counselors, counseling, marriage counsellor, marriage counselling, therapy, therapist, therapists, marriage therapists, marriage therapy, syndrome, syndromes, spousal dispute, spousal disagreement, disagree, disagreement, disagreements, argue, argument, arguments, irritable, irritability
"We're pretty sure it's the West Nile Virus."
Tags:egypt, egyptian, egyptians, mummy, mummies, pharaoh, pharaohs, outbreak, outbreaks, west nile, west nile virus, virus, viruses, disease, diseases, pandemic, pandemics, epidemic, epidemics, flu, influenza, cold, colds, common cold, common colds, telltale sign, telltale signs, sign, signs, diagnosis, diagnoses, diagnose, mosquito, mosquitoes, mosquito bite, mosquito bites, doctor, doctors
THE DOCTOR'S DILEMMA
Tags:doctor, doctors, medicine, medical, medicals, examine, examines, clinic, hospital, hospitals, house call, house calls, house-call, house-calls, patient, patients, relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, professionalism, examination, diagnosis, treatment, dilemma, dilemmas, decision, difficult, difficulty, easy, unnecessary
"You wear too many clothes."
"This will buy you four months.
Tags:doctor, doctors, shot, shots, injection, injections, drug, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, big pharma, prescription, prescriptions, medical problem, medical problems, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, booster, booster shot, booster shots, vaccine, vaccines, vaccination, vaccinations, buy time, buys time, buying time, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, diagnosis, prognosis, prognoses, diagnoses, physician, physicians, comfort, comforting, bedside manner
"Well, your nose feels cold."
Tags:dog, dogs, health, healthy, diagnosis, diagnoses, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians, nose, noses, dog nose, dog noses, cold, temperature, temperatures, checkup, checkups, checking up, high temperature, high temperatures, fever, fevers, pet, pets, pet health, animal doctor, animal doctors, animal hospital, animal hospitals
"You made that diagnosis just to be mean."
"Good news. The test results show it's a metaphor."
Tags:test, tests, test result, test results, idiom, idioms, expression, expressions, saying, sayings, metaphor, metaphors, metaphorical, literal, literally, backstabber, backstabbers, diagnosis, diagnose, diagnosing, physician, physicians, doctor, doctors, stab, stabbed, stabbing, stabbings, medical, medical diagnosis, good news
"He appears to have lost all of his resilience."
Tags:resilient, resilience, subservient, subservience, husband, husbands, backbone, backbones, spine, spines, wife, wives, doctor, doctors, diagnosis, diagnoses, spineless, weak, weakness, will, willpower, marriage, marriages, married life, married lives, long term relationship, long term relationships, spouse, spouses, self-esteem, self-confidence, mental health, mental health problem, mental health problems
"It's a very rare disease - it doesn't have a cure. It doesn't even have a spokesperson."
"You'll have to be X-rayed, Mr. Jensen. I seem to be picking up Rush Limbaugh."
Tags:rush limbaugh, overweight, right wing, talk radio, conservative, conservatives, republican, republicans, republican party, partisan, partisans, partisanship, heart problem, heart problems, heart attack, heart attacks, clogged arteries, stethoscope, checkup, checkups, check-up, check-ups, gain weight, gains weight, gaining weight, rush, worry, worries, diagnosis, reason to worry, reasons to worry, heart attack risk, heart attack risks
"It's Lyme disease again."
Tags:santa, santa claus, father christmas, lyme, lyme disease, deer, reindeer, tick, ticks, deer tick, deer ticks, diagnosis, diagnoses, doctor, doctors, saint nick, saint nicholas, st. nick, st. nicholas, exposure, illness, illnesses, contagion, contagions, disease vector, disease vectors, transmission, disease transmission
"Please, Doc - nothing too aggressive. I'm kind of attached to my symptoms."