"All dogs go to Heaven, because we're not the ones who screwed up."
Prizes Include: A New Car, A Maui Vacation And The Grim Reaper
Tags:game, games, game show, gameshows, gameshow, death, dead, die, died, dying, dies, grim, grim reaper, reaper, reapers, tv, t v, tv show, television, live tv, audience, studio, studio audience, prize, prizes, vacation, vacations, random, randomness, chance, chances, probability, probabilities, car, cars, door number, choose, choice, choices, fate, fated, doom, doomed
"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."
Tags:ghost, ghosts, summer movie, summer movies, summer blockbuster, summer blockbusters, spirit, spirits, ghost story, ghost stories, die, dies, dying, death, lose, loses, losing, sore loser, sore losers, loser, losers, join, joins, if you can't be 'em join 'em, expression, expressions, saying, sayings
A man reads the obituary and compares his age to the deceased.
Tags:age, obit, obits, obituary, obituaries, dead, dying, die, dies, mortality, mortal, mortals, long life, long lives, short life, short lives, compare, compares, feel your age, feeling your age, ageing, aging, grow old, grows old, growing old, comparison, comparisons, insecure, insecurity, insecurities
"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."
"Beuford was too old for a sexual frenzy."
Tags:frenzy, frenzied, die, dies, dying, funeral, funerals, wake, wakes, die too young, dying too young, dead too young, fantasy, lament, laments, lamenting, mourn, mourns, mourning, mourner, mourners, too old, die too old, dying too old, elderly, elder, elders, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens
"Relax, honey - change is good."
Tags:death, grim reaper, black humor, language, clichés, dark humor, dark humour, die, dies, dying, transition, transitions, change, changes, changing, positive change, positive changes, afterlife, afterlives, good change, good changes, married couple, married couples, old married couple, old married couples, mankoff
"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."
Tags:death, died, die, dies, dying, funeral, funerals, funerary, funeral procession, wake, the wake, holding a wake, open casket, casket, caskets, coffin, coffins, comment, commenting, everyone's a critic, comb over, combover, comb-over, hair, haircut, haircare, bald, balding, male pattern baldness, male patterned baldness, fashion, fashions, gossup, gossiping, gossipy, fashionable, black humor, dark humor, dark humour, black humour
"I always lived vicariously. Why can't I die vicariously?"
Tags:living vicariously, lived vicariously, vicarious living, deathbed, deathbeds, death bed, death beds, surrogate, surrogates, surrogacy, deaths, dying, died, die, dies, life choice, life choices, fear of death, thanatophobia, phobia, phobias, avoidance technique, avoidance techniques, avoidance tactic, avoidance tactics
A car's soul escapes as it expires at the meter.
Tags:parking meter, parking meters, expire, expires, expiring, expiration, die, dies, dying, death, deaths, car, cars, auto, autos, automobile, automobiles, soul, souls, ascend, ascends, ascending, ascension, 21 grams, 21 grams theory, angel, angels, afterlife, afterlives, soul escaping, soul death, expired meter, expired meters, parking ticket, parking tickets
"I do hope you're here for the circumcision."
Tags:death, dead, die, dies, dying, grim, grim reaper, reapers, reaper, creepy, scythe, scythes, soul, souls, eternal soul, underworld, religion, religious, religious imagery, modern, modern life, unexpected, guest, guests, doctor, doctors, knife, knives, jewish, jewish people, party, parties, dinner party, dinner parties, bah mitzvah, knives, sharp, cut, cutting, circumcision, shpasik, jtoons
"He's in a better place now-no offense to Buffalo."
"Not so fast. I got life PLUS seventy-five years."
Tags:death, dead, dying, die, died, dies, grim, grim reaper, reaper, reaping, reap, reaps, grimme, scythe, scythes, hooded, hood, black, black robes, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour, prison, prisons, jail, jails, sentence, sentencing, sentences, negotiate, negotiation, con, conning, conned, cons, bargain, bargains, criminal, criminals, prisoner, prisoners, life imprisonment, life sentence, life
"The Sudden, Sure Knowledge That One's Best Efforts Have Come To Naught."
Tags:effort, efforts, death, deaths, die, dies, deadly, escape, vaudeville, song-and-dance, grim reapers, grim-reapers, grim reaper, grim-reaper, audience, audiences, dying, dies, cheating death, cheats death, performance, performed, barbershop music, barbershop, disappointed, disappointed, fail, failed, effort, efforts
"Hey, Gramps, is 'deathbed' one word or two?"
Tags:grandpa, grandpas, grandfather, grandfathers, deathbed, deathbeds, insensitive, death bed, death beds, spell check, spellcheck, dying, die, dies, dead, hospital, hospitals, teen, teens, teenager, thoughtless, thoughtlessness, carefree, rude, rudeness, tasteless, uncouth, question, questions, cancer, cancers
"I got it this far - don't stop me now."
Tags:you can't take it with you, take it with you, taking it with you, money, greed, greedy, death, die, dies, dying, rich, riches, wealth, wealthy, elite, elites, expectation, expectations, heavenly gates, heaven's gate, gates of heaven, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, stingy, miserly, miser, misers
Good News / Bad News
Tags:good news, bad news, bearer of bad news, stranded, strand, maroon, marooned, castaway, deserted, deserter, deserters, desert, desert island, abandon, abandoned, rescue, rescued, death, dead, die, died, dies, dying, murphy's law, murphys law, sod's law, sods law, grim, grim reaper, reaper, doom, doomed
"He was just a year away from retirement."
"He's dead. Would you like his voice mail?"
"Thank goodness you're here - I can't accomplish anything unless I have a deadline."
Tags:death, dead, die, dies, dying, grim, grim reaper, reapers, reaper, creepy, scythe, scythes, soul, souls, eternal soul, underworld, religion, religious, religious imagery, modern, modern life, businessman, working from home, work from home, deadline, deadlines, procrastinate, procrastination, procrastinators, final, final deadline, under pressure, pressure, office, office drone, working life, work life
"I wouldn't have thought baby boomers could still do cannonballs."
Tags:baby boomer, baby boomers, cannonball, cannonballs, daredevil, daredevils, stunt, stunts, stuntman, stuntmen, die, dies, dying, cause of death, causes of death, bathtub, bathtubs, tub, tubs, accident, accidents, accidental, accidental death, accidental deaths, age, ages, aging, ageing, ageing gracefully, aging gracefully, grow old, grows old, growing old, elder, elders, senior citizen, senior citizens, irresponsible, irresponsibility, fall, falls, slip and fall, slipping and falling
"And don't go auctioning off my stuff."
Tags:death, dying, dies, dead, deathbed, death bed, auction, auctioning, auctions, sell, selling, jackie kennedy onassis, greed, greedy, wealthy, wealth, old age, aging, family, families, relative, relatives, dying wish, dying wishes, last wish, last wishes, final wish, final wishes, ill, terminal, order, instruction, stern
"You were really great out there!"
Tags:duel, duelling, gun, guns, pistol, pistols, pistols at dawn, dueler, duelist, duelists, victorian, historical, historically, victorians, edwardian, murder, murdered, sport, sports, competitive sports, praise, praised, dead, death, die, died, dying, dies, wife, wives, encouraging, encouragement, levity, play on words, word-play, word play
"Sometimes I give myself the creeps."
Tags:death, dead, die, dies, dying, grim, grim reaper, reapers, reaper, creepy, creeps, the creeps, bars, bar fly, heart to heart, honest, open up, opening, opening up, vulnerable, vulnerable, masculinity, alcohol, alcoholic, drink, drink, drinking, drown, sorrows, scythe, scythes, soul, souls, eternal soul, underworld, religion, religious, religious imagery, modern, modern life
"I need to wait until the euphoria wears off before I start dating again."
Tags:death, date, dating, dates, euphoria, happy, happiness, reaction, reactions, sad, sadness, grief, grieving, relationship, relationships, funeral, funerals, mourn, mourns, mourning, deaths, died, dies, unusual reaction, wait, waiting, waits, waited, widow, widowed, widows, widowing, widower, widowers, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married, marriage