Disinterested Cartoons

"I hope you realize that I'm the one who has to write about this stupid vacation next fall."

Airplane Seatbelts

"Point well taken- but I just came here to get drunk."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Hold that thought—I've just got two chapters to go."

"You notice nobody gives a damn about beached minnows."

"Honey, let me call you back—I'm bored."

"We'd like to do a song that will barely penetrate your consciousness as you continue to enjoy those faddish cigars and single-malt scotches."

"Whether I have five passengers or five hundred, I try to make the same inane announcements."

"I'll watch history in the making later."

"Sounds like a heart attack. Tell him to take two aspirin and call my office in the morning."

"I want you to play a bigger role in the day-to-day operations of ignoring the obvious."

"I do think your problems are serious, Richard. They're just not very interesting."

Paradise Lost: A play in four acts.

"When you say, 'It's all good' what you really mean is, 'I don't care'."

"Of course it's not safe. That's why I'm here."

"You know what? I'm still not interested in Bruce Jenner."

"Nothing personal, but could we break it off right there at the 'moreover'?"

"That's just the booze listening."

"I'm a patient woman herb and I'm not giving up."

"Well, you've brought me down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and sky. Now will you take me back to Vegas?"

"There are no words for the Olympian heights of my dizzying indifference to you."

"But what you call a track record I call ancient history."

"When people here have ideas, they do not bounce them off me."

"Have we met?"