"It's your grandparents, claiming their visitation rights."
"It was a complete blowout – I lost my seat, my house, my car, my wife, and my season ticket to the Redskins."
Tags:politics, politicians, election, elections, electoral loss, loss, lose, loser, lost seat, unseated, unseat, capitol hill, congress, congressmen, congressman, losing it all, lost it all, losing everything, big loss, big losses, high stakes, blowout, priorities, season ticket, sport, sports, sports fan, american football, football, football fan, football enthusiast, washington, washing d.c., divorce, divorces, divorce settlement, divorce settlements
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, conflict, conflicts, divorce, divorces, divorcing, separation, separations, separating, breakup, breakups, breaking up, break up, break ups, ancient greece, greek, greece, myth, myths, legend, legends, mythology, demi-god, demi-gods, hero, heroes, god, gods, hercules, megara, family law, family court, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, agreement, agreements, john hanncock, signature, signatures, house, home, chariot, custody, kids, kids, children, child, lion skin, nemean lion, family, families
"O.K. just one more item. Who gets the frequent-flier miles?"
Tags:divorce, divorced, divorcing, separation, separating, divorce proceedings, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, frequent-flier miles, frequent flier, frequent flier miles, frequent flyer, frequent flyer miles, frequent-flyer, frequent-flyer miles, air travel, airplane travel, aeroplane travel, frequent flyers, frequent fliers, frequent-flyers, frequent-fliers, air miles, airmiles, divorce financial settlements, splitting assets, asset splitting, division of assets, lawyers, lawyer, attorney, attorneys
"Three yummies, a pat on the head, and a 'Good doggy.' That's my client's final offer."
Tags:animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, canine, canines, dog owner, dog owners, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, divorce, divorces, split, splits, separation, separations, breakup, breakups, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, family law, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, negotiation, negotiations, negotiating, offer, offers, offering, final offer, treat, treats, biscuit, biscuits, pat, pats, good dog, praise, client, clients, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, mediation
"Frankly, since my wife left me it's more than I can keep up with."
"I want to be put on lifestyle support."
Tags:lifestyle, lifestyles, life support, life support system, life support systems, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, divorce, divorces, divorce lawyer, divorce lawyers, alimony, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, divorce payment, divorce payments, spousal support, maintenance, spousal maintenance, gold digger, gold diggers, goldigger
"Perhaps if you weren't paying so much alimony we could eat out once in a while."
Tags:hey diddle diddle, the dish and the spoon, dish and spoon, divorce, divorces, alimony, alimony payment, alimony payments, divorce payment, divorce payments, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, regret, regrets, resentful, mistake, mistakes, making mistakes, spousal provision, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, spousal support, maintenance, spousal maintenance
"She's just waiting for him to be worth divorcing."
Tags:divorce, divorces, divorcing, gold digger, gold diggers, gold digging, wait, waits, waiting, settlement, settlements, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, bad marriage, bad marriages, married life, married lives, modern marriage, modern marriages, marry for money, marries for money, marrying for money, divorce proceedings, money grubber, money grubbers, money-grubbing, wife, wives, husband, husbands, ex-husband, payday, paydays, windfall, windfalls, financial windfall, financial windfalls, spouse, spouses
"Have you any idea of the breakup value of this marriage?"
Tags:rich person, rich people, the one percent, the 1 percent, wealth divide, wealth gap, couple, couples, husband and wife, husbands and wives, marriages, long term relationship, long term relationship, long-term relationships, bad relationship, bad relationships, break up, break ups, breaking up, break-up, break-ups, split up, splitting up, split ups, split-up, split-ups, separation, separations, divorce, divorces, divorce settlement, divorce settlements
"I suppose every girl dreams of someday getting a big divorce settlement."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, daughter, daughters, girl, girls, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, single mother, single mothers, single mom, single moms, single mum, single mums, family, families, bed, beds, bedtime, bedtime story, bedtime stories, storytime, story time, story, stories, fairytale, fairytales, fairy tale, fairy tales, modern fairy tale, modern fairy tales, happily ever after, romance, love, relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship issues, marriage, marriages, married life, divorce, divorces, family law, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, money, dream, dreams
Early divorce settlement
Tags:early settlement, early settlements, hamlet, hamlets, history, iron age, iron age settlement, iron age settlements, bronze age, bronze age settlements, divorce, divorces, divorcing, divorced, divorcing, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, failed marriage, failed marriages, break up, breaking up, break ups, split, splitting, split up, pun, puns, wordplay
"Mom got the house."
"You're absolutely sure my wife won't be able to find this?"
Tags:pirate, pirates, piracy, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, divorce lawyer, divorce lawyers, divorce attorney, divorce attorneys, treasure, treasures, buried treasure, buried treasures, hiding, hid, hides, bury, buries, burying, buried, cheat, cheats, divorce, divorced, divorces, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, lie, lies, liar, liars, lying, lied
"At least I got half the Twitter followers in the divorce."
"I'm leaving you, and I'm taking the bowling pins with me."
Tags:divorce, divorces, divorcee, divorcees, marital breakdown, marital breakdowns, marriage breakdown, marriage breakdowns, bowling pin, bowling pins, bowling ball, bowling balls, pin, pins, bowling pin, bowling pins, divorce settlement, divorce settlements, suitcase, suitcases, bowling alley, bowling alleys