"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."
Tags:baby, babies, it's a boy, it's a girl, child, children, having kids, kid, kids, having children, have children, regulation, regulations, genders, politically correct, political correctness, pc, p.c., pc culture, p.c. culture, federal government, privacy, private, offense, offended, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, family, families, parent, parents, political
"I'll be performing the operation, and this is the anesthesiologist."
Tags:medicine, medical, doctor, doctors, anaesthesiology, anaesthesiologist, anaesthesiologists, operation, operations, surgery, surgeries, unconscious, club, clubs, hit, knock out, knocked out, knock-out, knocked-out, put to sleep, patient, patients, prehistoric, cavemen, caveman, cave, caves, history, prehistory, ancient
Tags:infertility, family, families, parent, parents, parenthood, babies, baby, reproduction, reproduce, pregnancy, couple, couples, married, marriage, spouse, spouses, husband, husbands, wife, wives, farmer, farmers, bull, bulls, cow, cows, cattle, fertility, fertility clinic, farm animal, farm animals, animal, animals, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians
"We medical practitioners do our very best, Mr. Nyman. Nothing is more sacred to us than the doctor-plaintiff relationship."
Tags:practitioner, practitioners, medical practitioner, medical practitioners, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, doctor-patient relationship, doctor-patient relationships, bedside manner, manner, manners, personal, personality, personable, plaintiff, plaintiffs, standoffish, freudian slip, freudian slips
"We're borrowing the best features of the Canadian system."
Tags:canadian mounted police, hospital, hospitals, patient, patients, healthcare, health care, canadian healthcare, canadian medical care, medical insurance, health insurance, doctor, doctors, canadian healthcare system, national health service, uniform, uniforms, canadian influence, canadian influences
"The machine's done something really weird to Mr. Hendrickson."
"I don't think you're getting enough stress."
Tags:stress, stress out, stressed out, stressing out, stressor, stressors, doctor's orders, relax, relaxation, doctor's advice, doctors advice, advice, order, orders, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, anxious, anxiousness, anxiety, anxieties, medical advice, physician, physicians, doctor, doctors, healthy living
Tags:headshrinker, headshrinkers, headshrinking, shrink, shrinks, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, therapist, therapists, therapy, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, psychiatric care, doctor, doctors, compliment, compliments, sane, sanity, insane, insanity, bill of health, clean bill of health, clean bills of health, mentally fit, mental fitness
"Fortunately treatment will be relatively inexpensive since you have the generic form of the disease!"
Tags:medical, medicine, medicines, meds, drug, pill, pills, pharmaceutical, pharmaceuticals, prescription, prescriptions, sickness, sick, ill, illness, disease, diseases, money, expensive, inexpensive, cheap, treatment, treatments, cure, cures, healthcare, generic, generics, doctor, doctors, big pharma, pharmaceutical company, pharmaceutical companies, patient, patients
"Please, honey, I'm with a patient, and I've asked you not to call me on this line."
Tags:stethoscope, stethoscopes, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, work, working, family, families, partner, partners, phone call, phone calls, call, calls, this line, line, lines, impossible, absurd, works, medical, medicine, medicines, phonecall, phonecalls, calling at work, emergency, treating, diagnose, diagnosing, equipment
"What's the next best medicine?"
Tags:depression, depressed, mental health, mental state, cure, cures, mental states, laughter is the best medicine, medicine, medicines, clown, clowns, circus, circuses, circus clown, circus clowns, entertainer, entertainers, performer, performers, medical advice, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, gp, gps
"Science is baffled. I hope you're happy."
Tags:check-up, check up, check ups, check-ups, check, checks, doctor, doctors, surgery, surgeon, surgeons, clinic, clinics, physician, physical, physical exam, exam, examination, appointment, appointments, doctor, doctors, healthy, healthily, healthy lifestyle, lifestyle, lifestyles, lifestyle change, get well, get well soon, baffled, baffle, visual gag, line, lines, abstract, squiggle, squiggly, science is
"My question is for the medical examiner."
Tags:law, laws, legal, legality, legalism, legalisms, jury, juries, juror, jurors, jury duty, duty, court, court of law, courts, court room, court rooms, courtroom, courtrooms, judge, judges, judicial, judiciary, foreman, fore, trial, trialled, trialed, trials, excuse, excuses, doctor, doctors, check up, check-up, check ups, check-ups, checkup, checkups, tv, medical examiner, medical examiners, loophole, workaround, selfish, selfishness
Tags:snellen chart, vision, visual, optics, optical, optician, opticians, doctor, doctors, interrogation, gunman, gun to head, gun to his head, interrogate, interrogates, optomologist, optomologists, optometrist, optometrists, eye, eyes, glasses, exam, examination, examinations, kidnap, kidnapped, on pain of death, hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, get well, get well soon
"The ringing in your ears-I think I can help."
Tags:tinnitus, ring, rings, ringing, ear, ears, ear trouble, ear troubles, ear problem, ear problems, ear infection, ear infections, cow, cows, cattle, cowbell, cowbells, cow bell, cow bells, bell, bells, diagnosis, diagnoses, checkup, checkups, check up, check ups, doctor, doctors, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, family doctor, family doctors
"Uh-oh, your coverage doesn't seem to include illness."
Tags:medical, word play, problems, insurance, health, fitness, disease, death, medicine, doctors, insurance coverage, health insurance, healthcare, insurance industry, insurance industries, bad coverage, bad insurance, american healthcare, american healthcare system, affordable, aca, affordable care act, obamacare, trumpcare, mankoff
"Well, Bob, it looks like a paper cut, but just to be sure let's do lots of tests."
"There will be a bit of a wait while we figure out a market solution to your problem."
Tags:emergency, doctors, medical, medicine, a&e, accident and emergency, accident & emergency, emergency room, er, free market, health insurance, health cover, health plan, healthcare cover, health-care cover, healthcare covers, health-care covers, crisis, healthcare plan, health-care plan, healthcare plans, health-care plans, single payer health care, universal health care, libertarian, laissez faire, laissez-faire, market solution, the free market, the free market provides, capitalism, socialism, health, care, doctors, medicine
"This patient has a rare form of medical insurance."
Tags:health insurance, insurance, insurances, health plan, health plans, healthcare plan, healthcare plans, health-care, healthcare coverage, health-care cover, health-care coverage, health care cover, healthcare cover, doctor, doctors, medical, medicine, diagnosis, diagnose, medicaid, hospital, hospitals, hospital bed, priority, priorities
"Some guys from the state board of medicine are here to see you."
"You should relax less."
"Will I still be able to not exercise?"
"You should just feel a tiny prick, and then a lifetime of morphine addiction."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, needle, needles, injection, injections, syringe, syringes, pain, painkillers, painkiller, morphine, addict, addicts, addiction, prick, lifetime, lifetimes, drug abuse, medicine abuse, opiate, opiates, opioid, opioids, opiate abuse, opioid abuse
"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, eating, dining, reserving, reservation, reservations, dinner, waiter, waiters, server, servers, host, hosts, booking, name, names, language, languages, english, grammar, honorific, honorifics, title, titles, prefix, prefixes, dr, dr., doctor, doctors, medical, medicine, education, degree, degrees, postgraduate, postgraduates, phd, ph.d., postgraduate doctoral degree, customer service, service, rude, bad manners
"All these years, and you haven't listened to a damn thing I've said, have you?"
Tags:obese, obesity, weight problem, weight problems, fat, fatness, weight issue, weight issues, fat epidemic, fat problem, fat problem, obesity problem, fat, gp, gps, general practitioner, general practitioners, doctor, doctors, medical advice, checkup, checkups, check up, check ups, check-up, check-ups, physical, physicals