"On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog."
Tags:
dog, dogs, doggie, doggies, doggo, doggos, online, on-line, internet, social media, social-media, anonymous, anonymity, anon, privacy, private, pet, pets, computer, computers, technology, technologies, hide, hidden, judge, judged, animal, animals, conspiracy, conspiracies, forum, forums, chat, chatroom, chatrooms'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'
Tags:
animal, animals, dog, dogs, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog owner, dog owners, good dog, good boy, great dog, talking dog, talking dogs, talking animal, talking animals, dog thoughts, pet thoughts, owner, owners, self-esteem, low self-esteem, self-esteem issues, issues, ego, never good enough, self-improvement, mental health"It's always 'Sit,' 'Stay,' 'Heel'—never 'Think,' 'Innovate,' 'Be yourself.' "
Tags:
sit, sits, stay, stays, heel, heels, command, commands, dog, dogs, dog trick, dog tricks, dog trainer, dog trainers, dog, dogs, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, innovate, innovates, innovating, innovation, innovations, barking orders, manager, managers, management, think, thinks, thinking, autonomy, respect, self-respect, worker, workers, office drone, office drones, gripe, gripes, griping, complaint, complaints, complain, complains, complaining"Surprise!"
Tags:
heaven, heavens, dog, dogs, pet, pets, all dogs go to heaven, all dogs, all dog, good dog, good boy, good boys, childhood, childhood pet, anthro, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, animals, animal, talking, talking animal, pet, pets, domestic pet, man's best friend, mans best friend, best friend, religious, religion, pearly gates, pearly gate, st peter, saint peter, unexpected"I'm starting to really like the smell of cocaine."
Tags:
cocaine, dog, dogs, airport security, security animal, security animals, tsa, drug, drug-sniffing, drug-sniffing dog, drug detection, k-9, k9, k-9 unit, k-9 units, k9 unit, k9 units, sniff, sniffs, sniffing, addiction, addictions, addictive, snort, snorts, snorting, coke, addict, addicts, addiction, addictions, narcotic, narcotics, law enforcement"I've told you why I need a dog. Now suppose you tell me what makes you think you might be that dog."
Tags:
animal, animals, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, recruiter, recruiters, recruitment, hr, h.r., human resources, business, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, manager, managers, career, careers, job, work, employee, employees, prospective, potential, rich, wealthy, money, hiring"The court is sorry that it raised its voice."
Tags:
raised voice, raised voices, puppy, puppies, dog, dogs, guilt, guilty, guilty verdict, guilty verdicts, cute, cuteness, guilt inducing, apology, apologies, judge, judges, sorry, cry, cries, crying, whimper, whimpers, whimpering, shout, shouts, shouting, discipline, disciplines, disciplining, adorable"The bidding will start at eleven million dollars."
Tags:
auction, auctions, auctioneer, auctioneers, pup, pups, puppy, puppies, pet, pets, dog, dogs, family pet, family pets, auction house, auction houses, lot, lots, collectible, collectibles, antique, antiques, bid, bids, bidding"It's not enough that we succeed. Cats must also fail."
Tags:
cat, cats, dog, dogs, enemy, enemies, natural enemies, success, successes, vindictive, vindictiveness, petty, pettiness, revenge, avenge, get revenge, getting revenge, schadenfreude, fail, fails, failure, failures, zero sum, zero sum game, zero sum games"I really appreciate this."
Tags:
scratch, scratching, scratches, scratched, dog, dogs, cat, cats, pet, pets, neck cone, cone, cones, help, helping, friend, friendly, appreciate, appreciated, itch, itching, itches, dogs and cats, helps, helper, head, heads, personified, personification, thankful, thanks, thanking, thank, value, values"Howard, I think the dog wants to go out."
Tags:
dog, dogs, pet, pets, doggos, doggo, posh, human, fancy, intelligent, sophisticated, go out, subvert, expectations, expectation, family, families, family pet, top dog, unrealistic, surprising, surprised, going out, let the dog out, let the dogs out, let dog out"You can't plead cute."
Tags:
plead, pleads, plea, pleas, plea deal, plea deals, plea bargain, plea bargains, court, courts, courtroom, courtroom, innocent, innocence, innocent look, innocent looks, puppy, puppies, dog, dogs, adorable, verdict, verdicts, trial, trials, defendant, defendants, defense attorney, defense attorneys, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, soulful, big eyes, big-eyed, doe-eyed"All dogs go to Heaven, because we're not the ones who screwed up."
Tags:
dog, dogs, heaven, afterlife, afterlives, animal, human, humans, responsibility, responsibilities, screw-up, screw-ups, screwing up, mistake, mistakes, accident, accidents, responsibility, responsibilities, irresponsible, die, dies, dying, death, deaths, pet, pets"Your kids have left and gone on to lives of their own..." a dog yelps while his owner runs away.
Tags:
dog, dogs, canine, canines, man's best friend, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking dog, talking dogs, talking pet, talking pets, talking animal, talking animals, animal, animals, dog owner, dog owners, mid life crisis, rough patch, tough times, hard times, despair, depressed, depression, anxiety, rubbing it in, rub some dirt in it, rub it in, make it worse, giving up, failed marriage, failed marriages, divorce, divorced, lonelyDogs have name tags on their rear ends.
Tags:
dog, dogs, greeting, greetings, introduction, introductions, sniff, sniffs, sniffing, smell, smells, smelling, party, parties, partying, name, names, name tag, name tags, cocktail party, cocktail parties, get-together, get-togethers, butt, dog behavior, dog behaviors, dog behaviour, dog behavioursA man in bathrobe smoking a pipe sits in an armchair as a dog delivers endless pairs of shoes and boots to him.
"You're really light on your feet for a dog."
Tags:
backhanded compliment, backhanded compliments, insult, insults, rude, dance, dancing, dancer, dancers, light on your feet, dog owner, dog owners, dog, dogs, pup, pups, puppy, puppies, cat, cats, kitty, kitties, kitten, kittens, pussycat, pussycats, cat owner, cat owners, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, animal, animals, cat lady, cat ladies"Scotch and toilet water?"
Tags:
scotch, whisky, whiskey, scotch and soda, scotch and sodas, water, toilet water, dog, dogs, drink, drinks, cocktail, cocktails, bartender, bartenders, barkeep, barkeeps, barkeeper, barkeepers, preference, preferences, preferred, favorite drink, favorite drinks, favourite drink, favourite drinks"Is there any chance of getting my testicles back?"
Tags:
death, heaven, black humor, animals, dogs, talking, medical, afterlife, afterlives, dog, neuter, neuters, neutered, dog owner, dog owners, spay, spays, spayed, spaying, neutering, pet owner, pet owners, heaven's gate, gates of heaven, animal control, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians