"Aren't you freezing?"
Tags:winter, wintertime, frozen lake, frozen lakes, frozen sea, freezing, chilly, cold, frozen over, ice, lifeguard, lifeguards, coastguard, coastguards, drown, drowning, oblivious, obliviousness, fallen in the water, falling in the water, falling through the ice, off season, off-season, beach, beaches, swim, swimming, swimming in the sea, swimmer, swimmer, bathe, bathing
Shrink's Summer Job
Tags:shrink, shrinks, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, problems, problem, coping, cope, addition, addictions, mental illness, mental health, stress, stressed, summer, summer job, summer jobs, beach, beaches, lifeguard, lifeguards, drown, drowning, drowned, lifesaver, lifesavers, swim, swimming, swimmer, swimmers
"It's not personal. The boss just doesn't like seeing people in so much debt for such a useless degree."
Tags:degree, degrees, college, colleges, grad, grads, graduate, graduates, graduation, graduations, uni, university, universities, gang, gangs, gangster, gangsters, mob, mobs, mobster, mobsters, mafia, mafias, mafia boss, mafia bosses, kill, killer, killers, murder, murderer, murderers, drown, drowning, student loan, student loans, student, students
"I'm thinking it might be time to find another pier."
"I begged him to learn how to swim—but did he listen?"
Tags:swim, swimming, swimmer, swimmers, paddling pool, paddling pools, pool, pools, swimming pool, swimming pools, bad swimmer, bad swimmers, drown, drowning, couple, couples, bad relationship, bad relationships, argue, arguing, argument, arguments, ignore, ignoring, ignored, listen, listening, communication, bad communication, uncaring, dying, heartless, heartlessness, callous, contemptuous, revenge, getting revenge
"No! No! I swear I didn't say nothing!"
Tags:mobster, mobsters, mob hit, mob hits, hit, hits, mafia, killing, killings, murder, murders, sleep with the fishes, sleeps with the fishes, cement shoes, fish, shark, sharks, talk, talks, talking, stoolie, stoolies, canary, canaries, tortures, gangster, gangsters, shark, sharks, drown, drowns, drowning, ichthyologist, ichthyology, ichthyologists
"Sometimes I give myself the creeps."
Tags:death, dead, die, dies, dying, grim, grim reaper, reapers, reaper, creepy, creeps, the creeps, bars, bar fly, heart to heart, honest, open up, opening, opening up, vulnerable, vulnerable, masculinity, alcohol, alcoholic, drink, drink, drinking, drown, sorrows, scythe, scythes, soul, souls, eternal soul, underworld, religion, religious, religious imagery, modern, modern life
"I say let's wait for the next one."
Tags:venice, canal, canals, gondola, gondolas, boat, boats, gondolier, gondoliers, couple, couples, wait for the next one, waiting, wait, inner tube, inner tubes, flotation device, flotation devices, flipper, flippers, googles, goggle, swim cap, swim caps, danger, dangerous, drown, drowning, swim, swimming, incompetent, amateur, amateurs
"Visualize yourself not dying and then be that reality."
Tags:lifeguard, lifeguards, life guard, life guards, drown, drowning, shark, sharks, shark attack, shark attacks, victim, victims, swim, swimmer, swimmers, swimming, lazy, useless, unhelpful, life coach, life coaches, life coaching, coach, coaches, coaching, advise, adviser, adviser, advising, advice, counsellor, counselling, counsellors, visualise, visualize, imagine, imagination, reality, death, dying, beach, beaches, bad advice, useless advice
"I know he's in here somewhere!"
Tags:baptism, baptize, baptise, baptising, baptizing, christening, christening, drown, drowns, drowning, drop, dropped, awkward, baby, babies, child, children, infant, infants, drop, dropped, church, churches, christian, christians, font, fonts, failed, failing, baptismal font, baptismal, christened, religions, religion, christianity, priest, priest, vicar, vicars, reverend, reverends, lost, losing, loses
"I can't swim! Would ten dollars help?"
"Drowning. What's new with you?"
Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with
Tags:stress, stresses, job, jobs, inbox, inboxes, outbox, outboxes, in-box, in-boxes, out-box, out-boxes, paperwork, paper pusher, paper pushers, paper pushing, white collar, white collar job, white collar jobs, pressure, pressured, pressures, under pressure, work life, work, worker, work-life balance, work form, work forms, paperwork, sea of paperwork, seas of paperwork, drown, drowns, drowning
“If I had known I could hold my breath so long I could have made money as a side show attraction instead of borrowing from the mob.”
Tags:cement shoes, cement, mob, mobster, mobsters, mafia, mafias, mafia boss, russian mafia, italian mafia, drown, drowning, talent, talents, talented, optimism, optimist, skills, learning, learn, skilled, skill, water, underwater, borrow, borrowing, debt, debts, money, poverty, poor, sideshow, hidden talent, hidden talents, know your skills, know yourself, sideshows, sideshow attraction, employ, employee, employment, unemployment, hidden skill, hidden skills
Tags:surprise, surprised, surprising, birthday, birthday party, surprise party, party, mob, mobster, mobsters, mafia, mafioso, the mob, pier, death, killed, kill, drown, drowned, drowning, murder, violence, cement shoes, 1930s, american history, historical, modern history, unexpected, wholesome, wholesomeness
Tags:modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, phone, phones, modern technology, modern technologies, cellphone, cellphones, mobile phone, mobile phones, help, drown, drowning, lost at sea, emergency service, emergency services, coast guard, coast guards, convenient, convenience, calling for help, 999, 911, telephone, telephones
"We're not accepting applications right now, but we'll give you a call the minute one of our members drowns."
Tags:swimming, swim, swimmer, swimmers, swimming club, swimming clubs, exclusive, exclusive clubs, club, clubs, competitive swimming, competitive swimmer, bad swimmer, bad swimmers, closed club, waiting list, waiting lists, drown, drowning, drowned, swimming pool, pool, pools, hobby, hobbies, dangerous hobbies, dangerous hobby, extreme sport, extreme sports, membership, members only
"Tell me what you're wearing."
"I will never let you drown."
Tags:idiot, idiots, noah, noah's ark, noahs ark, ark, two by two, animal, animals, great flood, great floods, sink, sinking, sinks, drown, drowns, mistake, mistakes, religion, religions, bible, bibles, torah, old testament, water, flood, flooding, boat, ship, ships, boats, god, gods, yahweh, christianity, christianity, judaism
"You must be doing something awfully special not to have your cubicle sealed off, filled with water, and then stocked with piranhas."
"Better safe than sorry, son."
Tags:pool, summer, safety, safe, kid, children, child, swim, swimming, swims, summers, wade, wades, wading, parent, parents, parenting, overcompensate, overcompensation, overcompensating, risk, risk-averse, hover, hovers, hovering, modern life, modern times, risk, risks, health and safety, drown, drowns, drowning, obsessed, obsession, obsessions, modern parent, modern parents
"I'd rather drown."
Tags:office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, stranded, island, islands, boss, bosses, drown, drowning, death wish, death wishes, dying wish, dying wishes, men, man, hate, hatred, problem, problems, obstacles, obstacle, swim, swimming, dictator, dictators
"I hope that what you're reading is relevant to the business at hand."
Tags:mob, mobs, mobster, mobsters, mob boss, mob bosses, mafia, mafia boss, mafioso, organised, organized, organised crime, organized crime, criminal, criminals, concrete shoes, concrete, read, reading, reader, readers, reading, book, books, relevant, relevance, pier, the pier, dock, docks, drown, drowning, invert, inverted, subvert, subverted, stereotype, stereotypes, cliche, cliches, avid reader, noir, bored, boring