"If it's not safe to go in the water and it's not safe to go in the sun, why did you bring me here?"
Tags:beach, beaches, seaside, seashore, ocean, oceans, sea, seas, water, kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, safe, safety, unsafe, protect, protection, water safety, swimming, drowning, danger, dangerous, risky, sun, sunny, uv rays, uv, sunburn, sunburns, cancer, skin cancer, heatstroke, pollution, water pollution, ozone depletion, bored, boring, limited, restricted, complaint, complaints, complaining, whining, whinging, environment, environmental issues, environmental problems
"Aren't you freezing?"
Tags:winter, wintertime, frozen lake, frozen lakes, frozen sea, freezing, chilly, cold, frozen over, ice, lifeguard, lifeguards, coastguard, coastguards, drown, drowning, oblivious, obliviousness, fallen in the water, falling in the water, falling through the ice, off season, off-season, beach, beaches, swim, swimming, swimming in the sea, swimmer, swimmer, bathe, bathing
Shrink's Summer Job
Tags:shrink, shrinks, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry, problems, problem, coping, cope, addition, addictions, mental illness, mental health, stress, stressed, summer, summer job, summer jobs, beach, beaches, lifeguard, lifeguards, drown, drowning, drowned, lifesaver, lifesavers, swim, swimming, swimmer, swimmers
Mobsters sending a victim down a water slide wearing cement shoes
Tags:mob, mafia, gang, gangster, gangsters, mobster, mobsters, killer, killers, killing, kill, kills, murder, murders, murderers, murderer, victim, victims, swimming with the fish, cement shoes, drowning, waterslide, waterslides, water slide, water slides, waterpark, waterparks, theme park, theme parks, amusement park, amusement parks, pool, pools, dark humor, dark humour, death
"It's not personal. The boss just doesn't like seeing people in so much debt for such a useless degree."
Tags:degree, degrees, college, colleges, grad, grads, graduate, graduates, graduation, graduations, uni, university, universities, gang, gangs, gangster, gangsters, mob, mobs, mobster, mobsters, mafia, mafias, mafia boss, mafia bosses, kill, killer, killers, murder, murderer, murderers, drown, drowning, student loan, student loans, student, students
"There's no need for alarm—the staff will be reduced, but only by attrition."
Tags:business, businessman, businessmen, boss, bosses, executive, executives, exec, execs, manager, managers, management, office, offices, office life, employee, employees, worker, workers, firing, laid off, lay off, laying off, unemployment, termination, downsizing, attrition, attack, pressure, alarm, money, drowning, sinking, staff, cut backs, reductions, reduced, company, companies, corporation, corporations, corporate
"I'm thinking it might be time to find another pier."
"I begged him to learn how to swim—but did he listen?"
Tags:swim, swimming, swimmer, swimmers, paddling pool, paddling pools, pool, pools, swimming pool, swimming pools, bad swimmer, bad swimmers, drown, drowning, couple, couples, bad relationship, bad relationships, argue, arguing, argument, arguments, ignore, ignoring, ignored, listen, listening, communication, bad communication, uncaring, dying, heartless, heartlessness, callous, contemptuous, revenge, getting revenge
"No! No! I swear I didn't say nothing!"
Tags:mobster, mobsters, mob hit, mob hits, hit, hits, mafia, killing, killings, murder, murders, sleep with the fishes, sleeps with the fishes, cement shoes, fish, shark, sharks, talk, talks, talking, stoolie, stoolies, canary, canaries, tortures, gangster, gangsters, shark, sharks, drown, drowns, drowning, ichthyologist, ichthyology, ichthyologists
"I say let's wait for the next one."
Tags:venice, canal, canals, gondola, gondolas, boat, boats, gondolier, gondoliers, couple, couples, wait for the next one, waiting, wait, inner tube, inner tubes, flotation device, flotation devices, flipper, flippers, googles, goggle, swim cap, swim caps, danger, dangerous, drown, drowning, swim, swimming, incompetent, amateur, amateurs
"Visualize yourself not dying and then be that reality."
Tags:lifeguard, lifeguards, life guard, life guards, drown, drowning, shark, sharks, shark attack, shark attacks, victim, victims, swim, swimmer, swimmers, swimming, lazy, useless, unhelpful, life coach, life coaches, life coaching, coach, coaches, coaching, advise, adviser, adviser, advising, advice, counsellor, counselling, counsellors, visualise, visualize, imagine, imagination, reality, death, dying, beach, beaches, bad advice, useless advice
"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."
Tags:sleeping with the fishes, cement shoes, mob, mafia, gang, gangs, gangster, gangsters, murder, murders, murderer, murderers, killer, killers, court, courtroom, courtrooms, court case, court cases, judge, judges, excuse, excuses, bad excuse, bad excuses, criminal, law, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, barrister, barristers, solicitor, solicitors, drowning, drowned, water quality, inspecting, inspector, inspectors, lake, lakes, river, rivers, cement, witness, witnesses, cover story, cover-up, lie, lies, liar, perjury
"I know he's in here somewhere!"
Tags:baptism, baptize, baptise, baptising, baptizing, christening, christening, drown, drowns, drowning, drop, dropped, awkward, baby, babies, child, children, infant, infants, drop, dropped, church, churches, christian, christians, font, fonts, failed, failing, baptismal font, baptismal, christened, religions, religion, christianity, priest, priest, vicar, vicars, reverend, reverends, lost, losing, loses
"I can't swim! Would ten dollars help?"
"Drowning. What's new with you?"
Forms I cannot deal with / Forms I will not deal with
Tags:stress, stresses, job, jobs, inbox, inboxes, outbox, outboxes, in-box, in-boxes, out-box, out-boxes, paperwork, paper pusher, paper pushers, paper pushing, white collar, white collar job, white collar jobs, pressure, pressured, pressures, under pressure, work life, work, worker, work-life balance, work form, work forms, paperwork, sea of paperwork, seas of paperwork, drown, drowns, drowning
“If I had known I could hold my breath so long I could have made money as a side show attraction instead of borrowing from the mob.”
Tags:cement shoes, cement, mob, mobster, mobsters, mafia, mafias, mafia boss, russian mafia, italian mafia, drown, drowning, talent, talents, talented, optimism, optimist, skills, learning, learn, skilled, skill, water, underwater, borrow, borrowing, debt, debts, money, poverty, poor, sideshow, hidden talent, hidden talents, know your skills, know yourself, sideshows, sideshow attraction, employ, employee, employment, unemployment, hidden skill, hidden skills
Tags:surprise, surprised, surprising, birthday, birthday party, surprise party, party, mob, mobster, mobsters, mafia, mafioso, the mob, pier, death, killed, kill, drown, drowned, drowning, murder, violence, cement shoes, 1930s, american history, historical, modern history, unexpected, wholesome, wholesomeness
Tags:modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, phone, phones, modern technology, modern technologies, cellphone, cellphones, mobile phone, mobile phones, help, drown, drowning, lost at sea, emergency service, emergency services, coast guard, coast guards, convenient, convenience, calling for help, 999, 911, telephone, telephones
"We're not accepting applications right now, but we'll give you a call the minute one of our members drowns."
Tags:swimming, swim, swimmer, swimmers, swimming club, swimming clubs, exclusive, exclusive clubs, club, clubs, competitive swimming, competitive swimmer, bad swimmer, bad swimmers, closed club, waiting list, waiting lists, drown, drowning, drowned, swimming pool, pool, pools, hobby, hobbies, dangerous hobbies, dangerous hobby, extreme sport, extreme sports, membership, members only
"It's that same dream, where I'm drowning in a bowl of noodles."
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, chicken, chickens, noodle, noodles, soup, soups, drowning, bowl, bowls, chicken noodle soup, dream, dreams, dreaming, bad dream, bad dreams, nightmare, nightmares, night terror, night terrors, recurring dream, recurring dreams, mental health
"Tell me what you're wearing."
"I will never let you drown."
"Ca you describe the shark?"
Tags:life guard, life guards, shark, sharks, lifeguard, lifeguards, priorities, bad priorities, wrong priorities, shark attack, shark attacks, incompetence, incompetence, drowning, coast guard, coast guards, coastguard, coastguards, police investigation, police investigations, red tape, record keeping, shark species
(South Beached Whales)