"He was just a year away from retirement."
"He's allergic to peanuts, sensitive to wheat, lactose-intolerant, and just plain weirded out by fruit."
Tags:allergies, allergic, food allergy, allergy, allergen, eating, eaten, eat, eating out, cater, catered, catering, customer, customers, customer's always right, customers always right, kid, kids, child, picky, picky kid, school, schools, parent, parents, parenting, coddle, coddled, coddling, foodie, foodies, lactose intolerant, lactose-intolerant, unfortunate, unfortunately
"You folks ready to order?"
Tags:hungry, hunger, hippo, hippos, hippopotamus, mouth, mouths, food, foods, eat, eats, eating, eaten, restaurant, restaurants, order, orders, waitress, waiter, waiters, foodie, visual gag, sight gag, absurd, animal, animals, visual humor, visual humour, menu, menus, anthro, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism
"Janet, cancel my Guido's reservation. I'll be having lunch in the office."
Tags:office, offices, businessman, businessmen, business, businesses, executive, executives, mouse, mice, cat, cats, kitty, kitties, kitten, kittens, pussycat, pussycats, cat owner, cat owners, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, animal, animals, cat lady, cat ladies, intercom, intercoms, threat, threaten, eat, eaten, kill, killer, killers, murder, murdered
Children Sliding into an Alligator/Crocodile's Mouth
"This frat better be worth it!"
Tags:haze, hazes, hazing, frat, frats, frat boy, frat boys, fraternity, fraternities, greek, greek society, greek societies, college, colleges, college student, university, universities, pledge, pledges, pledging, haze, hazes, hazing, cement shoes, shark, sharks, eat, eats, eaten, decision, decisions, decision-making, greek letter organization, greek letter organizations
"You must be doing something awfully special not to have your cubicle sealed off, filled with water, and then stocked with piranhas."
"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"
Tags:allergies, allergic, food allergy, allergy, allergen, eating, eaten, eat, eating out, restaurant, restaurants, salad, salads, fine dining, waiter, waiters, waitstaff, wait staff, penicillin, penicillin allergy, eating out with allergies, obvious, obviously, stupid question, ask a stupid question, service, service industry, cater, catered, catering, food service, food industry, customer, customers, customer's always right, customers always right
Survived the Holidays
Tags:thanksgiving, thanksgiving day, turkey, turkeys, turkey day, holiday, holidays, celebrate, celebration, celebrations, food, foods, bird, birds, poultry, meat, meats, graphic t, graphic tee, t-shirt, t-shirts, tshirt, tshirts, survive, survived, live, lived, death, dead, die, died, dying, cook, cooked, cooking, eat, eating, eaten, christmas, dinner, novelty shirt, novelty shirts, holiday season, grump, grumps, grumpy, survival
"I love this time of year when turkeys get theirs."
"And that would be little Susan."
Tags:snake, snakes, man-eater, man-eating, giant, giants, python, pythons, identify, identifies, identifying, identifying the body, identifying a body, corpse, corpses, eat, eats, eating, eaten, swallow, swallows, swallowing, swallow whole, swallows whole, swallowing whole, swallowed whole, anaconda, anacondas, giant, giants, phobia, phobias, orphidiophobia, fear, fears, lizard, lizards, reptile, reptiles
Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight
Tags:art, artist, artists, painting, paintings, painter, painters, easel, easels, disappeared, disappearance, disappearances, strange disappearance, strange disappearances, monster, monsters, creature, creatures, attacked, eaten, loch ness monster, nessie, horror, fantasy, myth, myths, legend, legends, folklore, mystery, mysteries, mysterious, mysterious disappearance, mysterious disappearances
"Still, you've got to admit our being swallowed by a fish has its humorous aspects!"
Tags:fishermen, fishing, fish, fish food, eaten, fishing magazine, big fish, little boat, boat, fishing rod, jonah, bible, biblical, bible story, god, christian, christians, christianity, book of jonah, old testament, biblical prophet, prophet, bright side, looking on the bright side, glass half full, optimist, optimists, optimistic, optimism, bad situation, bad situations, anecdotes, anecdote
"Don't you worry, Mr. Kiernan—we'll have you out of there in no time!"
Tags:zoo, zoos, zoo keeper, zoo keepers, snake, snakes, giant snake, giant snakes, anaconda, anacondas, eat, eats, eaten, rescue, rescues, rescuing, rescuer, rescuers, reptile, reptiles, reptile house, reptile houses, herpetologist, herpetologists, herpetology, save, saves, saving, consumed, eaten up
"I had it mounted as it ate the most of Roger."
Tags:shark, sharks, trophy, trophies, wall trophy, wall trophies, stuffed animal, stuffed animals, taxidermy, taxidermist, taxidermists, shark attack, shark attacks, killed, killing, eaten, eaten by a shark, predator, predators, sentiment, sentimental, sentiments, great white shark, widow, widows, widower, widowers, widowed, sentimental gesture, sentimental gestures, home decoration, home decor
"Keep pushing - I can see the baby's head!"
Tags:baby, babies, restaurant, restaurants, eating out, out to eat, dining, dine, dinner, dinners, dine, dines, high society, witch, witches, choke, choking, swallow, swallowed, eaten, eating, push, pushing, women, spoof, spoofs, parodied, parodies, parody, child eater, child-eater, cough, cough up, coughing up, halloween, spooky, scary, happy halloween
"Whenever Mother's Day rolls around, I regret having eaten my young."
Tags:parent, parents, parenting, parental, alligator, gator, alligators, gators, croc, crocs, crocodile, crocodiles, mother's day, mothers day, mothering sunday, animal, talking animal, talking animals, eating, eaten, eat, young, child, children, kid, kids, reptile, reptiles, mom, mum, moms, mums, mother, mothers, mothering, mothered, old, older, regret, regrets, grief, behavior, behaviors, behaviour, behaviours, herpetologist, herpetology, herpetologists, biologist, biology, biology teacher, biology teachers
"I've eaten everyone else."
"I've finally reached the point in my career where I'm fairly confident I won't get eaten."
"So much chum, so little time."
The food chain of fish
A woman is attacked by pigeons
"I come from a large family but they've all been eaten."