"The Sudden, Sure Knowledge That One's Best Efforts Have Come To Naught."
Tags:effort, efforts, death, deaths, die, dies, deadly, escape, vaudeville, song-and-dance, grim reapers, grim-reapers, grim reaper, grim-reaper, audience, audiences, dying, dies, cheating death, cheats death, performance, performed, barbershop music, barbershop, disappointed, disappointed, fail, failed, effort, efforts
"Please stand and join us in half-assing your way through our national anthem."
Tags:baseball, base ball, national, national anthem, anthem, us, usa, audience, audiences, the game, the big game, live sport, sport, sports, tv sport, effort, efforts, low effort, sing, singing, forgetting the words, lyrics, pretend, pretending, pretence, pretense, pretenses, star spangled banner, star-spangled banner, american pride, national pride, national identity, cultural identity, commit, non committal, non-committal
"Just remember, if you give a hundred and ten per cent, I get twenty per cent of that."
Tags:agent, agents, sports agent, sports agents, percentage, percentages, baseball, baseball player, baseball players, player, players, representative, representatives, greed, greedy, greediness, give it your all, giving it your all, effort, efforts, money, 110%, fee, fees, bilk, bilks, bilking, overcharge, overcharges, overcharging, surcharge, surcharges, hidden fee, hidden fees, hidden cost, hidden costs
"Next year, I'm pleasuring myself."
Tags:salmon, masturbate, masturbates, masturbating, effort, efforts, mate, mates, mating, swim upstream, swims upstream, swimming upstream, swim, swims, swimming, difficult, difficulty, not worth it, vow, vows, vowing, lazy, laziness, can't be bothered, spawn, spawns, spawning, journey, journeys, long journey, long journeys, fish
"Flowers in a lobby are good P.R."
Tags:flower, flowers, design, low effort, effort, efforts, decor, minimal, minimalism, decorating, decorations, ornament, ornaments, public relations, pr, p.r., p.r, public relation, lobby, lobbies, foyer, foyers, reception, receptions, receptionist, vase, vases, floral arrangement, flower arrangement, offices, office, businessmen, business, suit, suits, men
The Lives of the SaintsThis Week: Frieda Witherspoon
Tags:spoof, spoofs, parody, parodies, sarcasm, sarcastic, saint, saints, saintly, modern, modern life, modern world, modernity, tech, technology, religion, religious, religious imagery, sainthood, routine, daily routine, routines, pay it forward, inconvenient, inconvenience, inconveniences, inconvenienced, petty, pettiness, effort, efforts, hard, hard work, do your best
"Evan and I have an open relationship, but, really, who has the energy?"
"Let's go with the farm-raised salmon tonight."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, bear, bears, fish, salmon, salmons, food, farm-raised, meal, meals, meal planning, dinner, dinners, wet, soaking, soaked, starving, hungry, difficult, challenging, hunting, hunter, hunters, fisherman, fishermen, fishing, angler, anglers, angling, catching fish, effort, efforts, farm, farms, farming, farmer, farmers, fresh fish
"You're always trying too hard, Eddie!"
Tags:try too hard, tries too hard, trying too hard, effort, efforts, put effort in, putting effort in, date, dates, unimpress, unimpressed, bore, bores, boring, nice guy, nice guys, first date, first dates, date, dates, dating, single life, play it cool, plays it cool, playing it cool, pickup artist, pickup artists, pua, puas, pick-up artist, pick-up artists, relax, relaxes, relaxing, tip, tips, dating tip, dating tips
"Of course, if this one flops we're done."
Tags:flop, flops, plan z, fail-safe, fail-safes, plan, plans, planning, plan b, hierarchy, hierarchies, incompetent, incompetence, corporate ladder, corporate ladders, corporate culture, executive, executives, planning commission, planning commissions, last ditch, last ditch effort, last ditch efforts, effort, efforts, try, tries, trying