Egocentric Cartoons

"We find shopping at the farmers' market to be more self-congratulatory."

"You just keep me around to fill in the gaps in your persona."

"To my wife of fifteen years —arguably the best of my many perks."

"I'm sorry, Herbert, but you're no longer part of the story I want to tell about myself."

"What do you think- capitalize 'Me'? Or too much?"

"But enough about the dollar. Let's talk about me!"

"Look out! Here comes Denis Farnell and his 'wellness unto death.' "

"You're wonderful, Kimberly, and I want to be married, but I'm looking for a complete unknown."

"The U.S.S. Narcissus"

"Sorry about the mask. I'm always afraid my fame will overwhelm people."

"It's always poor you, isn't it, Albert?"

"Surely not guilty. Next case."

Special Person Statue

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

"As if we didn't already know too much about ourselves, we're having our DNA done."

"If you were me, you'd be self-absorbed, too."

Puck Building Shoot-out

"Take me, for example. I didn't always have charisma."

"But enough about me, Lauren, let's not talk anymore."

"Do you have any idea who I am?"

Tough Guy

J.P. Turnbull Mogul at Large

"Marry me darling, and I will do everything I can do to keep Medicare and Social Security off the table."

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."