"Now for the high point of the evening - a videotape of my elevation to regional director of marketing."
Tags:videotape, videotapes, highlight, highlights, highlight reel, highlight reels, ego, egomaniac, egomaniacs, egotist, egotists, egotistical, self-promoter, self-promoters, self-promotion, ego stroker, ego strokers, ego stroking, bore, bores, boring, dinner party, dinner parties, uninteresting, toot your own horn, tooting your own horn
"To be honest - I'm not sure that accounting can be taught."
Tags:accounting, accountant, accountants, skill, skills, talent, talents, talented, self-absorbed, ego, egotist, egotistical, egotists, teach, teaches, teaching, teacher, teachers, passion, passions, passion project, passion projects, condescend, condescends, condescending, sexist, misogyny, misogynist, misogynists
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said. I was listening to my body."
Tags:communication, communications, communicating, communicate, communicates, vain, vanity, vainness, self-esteem, self-esteems, self confidence, self-confidence, small talk, small-talk, ego, egos, egotist, egotists, egotistical, big headed, big-headed, big head, big heads, paying attention, listening skill, listening skills, party, parties, party guest, party guests
"Sometimes I think the collaborative process would work better without you."
Tags:collaboration, collaborations, collaborative process, collaborative processes, collaborate, collaborates, work together, works together, working together, team player, team players, ego, egotist, egotists, egotistical, contribute, contribution, contributions, dead weight, coworker, coworkers, co-worker, co-workers, colleague, colleagues, unappreciated, underappreciated, creative, creativity, loner, loners, lone wolf, lone wolves, not a team player, unfriendly, collaborator, collaborators, creative process, undermine, undermines, undermining
"All hat and no cattle but, my god, what a hat."
Tags:narcissist cards, greeting cards, narcissist, narcissists, birthday, birthdays, bon voyage, narcissist cards, bon-voyage, narcissism, greeting card, birthday card, birthday cards, condolence card, sympathy card, sympathy cards, condolences, ego, egos, egotist, egotists, egotistical, self centred, self-centred, self-centered, self centered
"We find shopping at the farmers' market to be more self-congratulatory."
Tags:hipster, hipsters, farmer, farmers, farmers market, market, markets, shopping, fresh food, food, drink, organic, homemade, homegrown, local, shop local, support local business, support local businesses, business, businesses, small business, small businesses, self-congratulatory, superiority, superior, pat on the back, ego, egotistical, egotistic, egocentric, trendy
"Damn it, man, do I look like I have any yellow ochre?"
"Senior Vice-President Buffington reporting, sir. Requests permission to advance and be recognized."
Tags:vice president, vice presidents, vice-president, vice-presidents, office politics, corporate culture, corporate ladder, businessmen, businessman, corporate environment, corporate hierarchy, status, intimidation, intimidating, intimidated, pecking order, corporate bully, bullies, ego, egos, egotist, egotists, egotistical, big boss, big bosses, status symbol, status symbols, pa, pas, personal assistant, personal assistants, deference
"Maybe this will make you less of a jerk!"
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, married, marry, boyfriend, boyfriends, girlfriends, husband, husbands, wife, wives, partner, partners, spouse, spouses, women, men, nagging, nag, nagged, royal, royalty, king, kings, monarch, monarchy, sarcasm, sarcastic, ego, egotistical, egotistic, big ego, arrogance, arrogant
"Sorry, Mr. President. I'm afraid D Day has nothing to do with your name."
"To my wife of fifteen years —arguably the best of my many perks."
"Dog...God. God...dog. Cat...tac."
"Enough about me, but nothing about you just yet."
Tags:date, dating, dates, self centred, selfish, obnoxious, dating horror stories, dating horrors, ego, egoism, egotistical, love, romance, romantic, stories, conversation, conversations, over coffee, coffee, cafe, disinterest, relationships, relationship advice, stereotypes, sexism in action, male chauvinism, chauvinist, male, men, man, it's a man's world, sexist, every day sexism, microaggression, microaggressions, women, women's world, dating woes, modern, modern life, modern dating, modern love
"Do you ever feel as though the portfolio of your manhood should have included combat?"
"She's gotten really arrogant now that she has a stalker."
Tags:stalker, stalk, stalks, stalking, stalked, harassment, harassing, harassed, harass, arrogance, arrogant, ego, egos, egotist, egotists, egotistical, egotism, self esteem, self-esteem, self-confidence, self confidence, self-confident, self confident, ego boost, ego boosts, ego-boost, ego-boosts, celeb, celebs, celebrity, celebrities, celebrity culture
Tags:your majesty, king, kings, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, monarchies, throne, thrones, throne room, throne rooms, fealty, swear fealty, swearing fealty, courtier, courtiers, ego, egos, egotist, egotists, egotistical, narcissist, narcissists, narcissism, self-worship, selfish, selfishness, status, high status, royal, royals, royalty, self-interest, self-interested, high society, divine right, divine rights
"Do you have any idea who it is you're talking to?"
Tags:men's room, men's rooms, bathroom, bathrooms, loo, loos, restroom, restrooms, toilet, toilets, urinal, urinals, cellphone, cellphones, telephone, telephones, mobile, mobiles, mobile phone, mobile phones, smartphone, smartphones, call, calls, office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, ego, egotistical
"In the last few months, Matthew has gone on twenty-four-hour alert for signs of aging."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, beauty, attractiveness, youth, ging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, old, middle age, middle-age, middle aged, middle-aged, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, signs of aging, signs of ageing, 24 hour, twenty-four hour, alert, alerts, emergency, emergencies, vanity, vain, ego, egotistical, egotistic, wrinkle, wrinkles
"Hey, pal, do you have any idea who I think I am?"
"I thought he was a genius, but now I find out that he was self-proclaimed."
Tags:executive, executives, business, businessmen, businessman, businesses, office, offices, corporate, corporations, corporation, work, workers, working, working world, market, marketing, markets, profit, profit boost, profits, profitable, profitability, train, training, trained, trainer, genius, geniuses, resume, resumes, ego, egotist, egotistical, failure, failed, failures, recoup, recouping, trust, trusting, trustworthy, reliable, rely, relying, running away, run away, runaway
"I think I deserve more than a stub on Wikipedia."
Tags:stub, stubs, internet, internets, ego, egoism, egotistical, deserve, deserves, deserved, intellectual, intellectuals, writer, writers, novel, novella, novels, novel writing, poem, poet, poetry, poets, poetic, literature, literary, author, authors, authored, book, books, book lover, writing, should be writing, you should be writing, manuscript, artistic, artist, artists, art, arts, culture, cultured, writer's block, bookworm, book worm, bookworms, book worm, book, books, novel, novels, library, librarians, librarian, book lover, book lovers, literature, literary, lit, lit major, read, reading, avid reader, readers, reader, novel, novels, novelist, novelists, critic, everyone's a critic
"We are not under siege, Your Majesty. You just have a siege mentality."
Tags:peasant, peasants, soldier, soldiers, medieval, warrior, warriors, siege, sieged, sieges, siege ladder, ladder, ladders, siege tower, tower, towers, siege towers, castle, castles, aide, aides, king, kings, threat, threatened, siege mentality, psychology, insecure, insecurity, ego, egotistical, parallel, parallels
"Oh, great! Here comes the policeman of the world again."
Tags:police, policeman, policemen, police officer, police officers, policeman of the world, policemen of the world, king of the jungle, egotist, egotists, egotism, egotistical, king of the jungle, annoyance, annoyances, annoying, natural world, animal kingdom, animal, monkey, monkeys, ape, apes, ape man, ape men
"So long, Ed. This is my floor."
Tags:visual gag, illusion, excess, excessive, ego, egotistical, egoism, rich, richer, rich man, manager, managers, exec, execs, executive, executives, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, elevator, elevators, empty, emptiness, meeting, meetings, appointment, appointments, secretaries, secretary, personal assistant, pa, p.a., p.a, p a, receptionist, reception, receptionists, large, oversized, oversize, office, personal office, cityscape, city scape, landscape, landscapes