"Ladies and gentlemen, is there a bankruptcy attorney on board?"
"O.K., I'm sitting. What is it?"
Tags:sit, sits, sitting, trick, tricks, dog, dogs, dog trick, dog tricks, emergency, emergencies, emergency phone call, emergency phone calls, sit down, sitting downs, phone call, phone calls, obedience, obedient, obedience training, bad news, bearer of bad news, message, messages, messenger, messengers, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers
Emergency numbers on a telephone.
Tags:telephone, telephones, phone, phones, calling, phoning, call, calls, speed dial, emergency, emergencies, emergency number, emergency numbers, therapist, therapists, haircolorist, haircolorists, haircolourist, haircolourists, hair colorist, hair colorists, hair colourist, hair colourists, manicurist, manicurists, nutritionist, nutritionists, chiropractor, chiropractors, astrologer, astrologers, police
"First, we need to stabilize his spine!"
"You've reached 911, and there's someone here who wants to say hello."
Tags:say hello, saying hello, pet, pets, pet lover, pet lovers, cat, cats, cat lover, cat lovers, 911, emergency, emergencies, emergency operator, emergency operators, cute, cuteness, overly cute, casual, out-of-place, police, call the police, calling the police, annoying, annoyance, annoyances, modern life, cat owner, cat owners, cat person, cat people, feline, felines, hold, holds, holding, on hold, emergency response, emergency responses, emergency response system, emergency response systems
Man on a sinking ship blowing up an inflatable desert island.
Tags:ship, ships, boat, boats, storm, storms, stormy, rain, rainy, sea, seas, ocean, sinking, sinking ship, sinking ships, capsize, going down, inflate, inflatables, blow-up, blow up, blowing up, island, islands, desert island, desert islands, castaway, castaways, shipwreck, shipwrecks, shipwrecked, lifeboat, lifeboats, sailing, sailboat, sailboats, sailor, sailors, modern life, convenient, convenience, emergency, emergencies, safety, prepared, cliche, cliches, cartoon cliches
"How soon do you need these?"
Tags:tailor, tailors, tailored, tailoring, dryer, dryers, drying, pants, trousers, suit, suits, fancy, formal wear, emergency, emergencies, dry-clean, dry-cleans, dry-cleaning, dry-cleaner, dry-cleaners, speedy, hurry, hurries, hurrying, minor emergency, minor emergencies, stain, stains, staining, dumb question, dumb questions, obvious question, obvious questions
"It's pronounced 'hee-la' monster. The 'g' sounds like an 'h.' "
Tags:hospital, hospitals, clinic, clinics, doctor's office, doctor's office, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, animal, animals, lizard, lizards, reptile, reptiles, gila monster, gila monsters, language, languages, pronunciation, english, unhelpful, wasting time, biting, bite, emergency, emergencies
"I'd like to report a cloud."
Tags:sunshine, sunny, sunny day, sunny days, desert, deserts, desert life, desert living, warm climate, warm climates, hot climate, hot climates, hot weather, warm weather, cowboy, cowboys, cactus, cacti, cloud, clouds, cloudy day, cloudy days, blue sky, blue skies, sky, skies, emergency, emergencies, police report, police reports
"Let me through! I'm a businessperson!"
Tags:businessperson, businesspeople, businessperson, spill, spills, spilling, expert, experts, expertise, sidewalk, sidewalks, clumsy, clumsiness, careless, carelessness, accident, accidents, accidental, crowd, crowds, crowded sidewalk, crowded sidewalks, fall, falls, falling, trip, trips, tripping, klutz, klutzy, klutziness, assist, assistance, emergency, emergencies, emergency worker, emergency workers, first world problem, first world problems
"Thank God we were only house-sitting."
"My instincts tell me to call an emergency board meeting. My emotions tell me to have it at the all-nude bar across the street."
Tags:board meeting, board meetings, emergency, emergencies, strip club, strip clubs, white collar, white collar jobs, worst instinct, worst instincts, instinct, instincts, emotion, emotions, emotional decision, emotional decisions, bad idea, bad ideas, businessman, businessmen, glass ceiling, glass ceilings, misogyny
"In the last few months, Matthew has gone on twenty-four-hour alert for signs of aging."
Tags:relationship, relationships, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, beauty, attractiveness, youth, ging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, old, middle age, middle-age, middle aged, middle-aged, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, signs of aging, signs of ageing, 24 hour, twenty-four hour, alert, alerts, emergency, emergencies, vanity, vain, ego, egotistical, egotistic, wrinkle, wrinkles
"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."
Tags:marriage, married life, married, divorce, divorced, divorcing, marital, breakup, break up, breakups, break ups, break-up, break-ups, hospital, hospitals, medical, emergency, emergencies, life changing event, waiting room, waiting rooms, remarry, worse than breaking up by text, illness, ill, sick, sickness, doctor, doctors, surgery, surgeons, intensive care, health care, side effect, side effects, recovery, recovering, recover, bearer of bad news, good news and bad news, good news, bad news
"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"
Tags:stage, stages, entertainment, entertainer, entertainers, performance, performances, performer, performers, spin doctor, spin doctors, spokesperson, publicist, publicists, pr, p.r., public relations, spokesman, spokesmen, audience, emergency, emergencies, scandal, scandals, media, press, journalism
The Heimlich Maneuver
Tags:heimlich maneuver, choke, choking, first aid, first-aid, first aider, first-aider, dates, date, dating, on a date, relationship, couples, couples, awkward, awkward conversation, awkward conversations, nervous, nervousness, dinner date, dinner dates, awkwardness, awkward date, awkward dates, the heimlich maneuver, heimlich manoeuvre, the heimlich manoeuvre, emergency, emergencies, choking hazard, choking hazards
"No, this is not part of an evacuation procedure."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, unhealthy relationship, unhealthy relationships, love, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives argument, arguments, arguing, fight, fights, fighting, conflict, conflicts, leaving, divorce, divorces, divorcing, split, splits, splitting, separation, separations, separating, breakup, breakups, breaking up, break up, break ups, break-up, break-ups, luggage, baggage, evacuation, evacuations, emergency, emergencies, procedure, procedures
"Maybe we should try visualization, Chief!"
Tags:fire, house fire, house fires, fire, firemen, fireman, firefighter, firefighters, fire engine, fire engines, fire truck, fire trucks, fighting fire, putting out a fire, extinguishing, chief, chiefs, psychology, visualising, visualizing, visualization, visualisation, imagination, imagining, innovation, psychobabble, emergency, emergencies
For Emergency Use Only
Tags:husband, husbands, emergency, emergencies, in case of emergency, break glass, use as needed, using as needed, married life, married lives, ignore, ignores, ignoring, spouse, spouses, wife, wives, long-term relationships, communication breakdown, communication breakdowns, useless, uselessness, worthless, worthlessness, self-esteem, low self-esteem
"Would you like us to put this put with sparkling, or is tap O.K.?"
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, service, customer service, fire, fires, on fire, flames, flaming, roast, roasts, chicken, chickens, turkey, turkeys, water, sparkling water, tap water, emergency, emergencies, firefighter, firefighters, fireman, firemen, choice, choices, choosing, decision, decisions, deciding
"We'll feel pretty silly if it's downgraded to a tropical storm."
Tags:religion, religious, bible, old testament, genesis, noah, noah's ark, ark, arks, boat, boats, big boat, big boats, large boat, large boats, animal, animals, pairs, talking animal, talking animals, sheep, weather, bad weather, storm, storms, stormy, rain, raining, rainy, tropical storm, tropical storms, hurricane, hurricanes, cyclone, cyclones, typhoon, typhoons, natural disaster, natural disasters, flood, flooding great flood, downgraded, silly, feel silly, prepared, emergency preparedness, prepared for an emergency, preparing for an emergency, emergency, emergencies, disaster, disasters, safety, safety precaution, safety precautions, evacuating, evacuation, evacuations
"Listen, girl. Run into town and go to the sheriff's office. Then make a right. Find the liquor store and get a bottle of 2011 Napa. Do not get the Chilean Malbec you got last time. Hurry."
Tags:hipster, hipsters, wine snob, wine snobs, snob, snobs, snobbery, malbec, napa, napa valley, wine, wines, winos, emergency, emergencies, rescue, rescues, rescuing, rescuer, rescuers, first world problem, first world problems, problem, problems, snobby, elite, elites, elitist, elitists, silicon valley, dog, dogs, rescue dog, rescue dogs
"Quick—bring the jaws of lunch!"
Tags:car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, engine trouble, engine problem, engine problems, smoke, smoking, breakdown, breakdowns, calling for help, roadside assistance, jaws of life, rescue, rescuer, rescuers, emergency, emergencies, emergency worker, emergency workers, lunch, lunches, meal, meals, mealtime, lunchtime, hungry, starving, hunger, food
"You might want to sit down, Mrs. Dumpty."
Tags:nursery rhyme, nursery rhymes, rhyme, rhymes, mother goose, literature, children's story, children's stories, character, characters, fictional character, fictional characters, humpty dumpty, hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, bad news, emergency, emergencies, death, egg, eggs, wife, wives
"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"