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"I know you're a working dog, Angus. I just don't have anything for you right now."
"I've got some skills - I'm just not sure they add up to a 'set.'"
"I'll be frank - we offered it to Mario Cuomo first, but he turned it down."
"I forgot to say I was breast-fed."
"It appears you're a bit overqualified to be exploited but somewhat underqualified to exploit others."
"I've got an opening for a project manager in a corporation that will chew you up and spit you back out on the street in record time. Interested?"
ACME Employment Agency