"Ask the judge whether we can find the defendant not guilty and still execute him."
"Something collarless. I'm being guillotined."
Tags:shopping, shop, store, stores, fashion, fashionable, sales, salesclerk, salesman, salesperson, men, men's clothing, clothing, clothes, style, styles, trend, trendy, trending, execute, execution, death, death sentence, sentenced to death, guillotine, guillotined, dark humour, dark humor, black humour, black humor
"Mind if I turn my hearing aid down?"
Tags:firing, firing squad, gun, guns, death, deaths, dead, dying, died, kill, killed, firing line, execute, execution, executions, war, wars, military, militarise, militarism, militaristic, militia, militias, executioner, executioners, wall, capital, capital punishment, martial law, martial, violence, violence, late, lateness, tardy, tardiness, punctual, punctuality, dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, gallows humour, gallows humor, dead, deadpan, hearing, hearing aid, deaf, deafness
"The Governor has granted a stay of execution until your Benetton ad comes out."
Tags:clothing, clothes, fashion, fashions, fashionable, fashionista, fashionistas, style, styles, stylish, in style, death row, death row inmate, death row inmates, inmate, inmates, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, jail, jails, in jail, execute, execution, executions, crimes, criminal, criminals, controversial, ad, ads, advertising, advertisement, advertisements, marketing, lawyer, lawyers, unethical, ethics, stay of execution, sentenced to death, sentenced to die, death penalty, we on death row
"I wish you'd get into the spirit of this thing, Brewster!"
Tags:warden, wardens, condemned, condemned man, spirit, spirits, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, prison guard, prison guards, guard, guards, jail, jails, jailed, criminal, crime and punishment, criminals, capital punishment, execution, execute, executes, executioner, executioners, death, dead, dying, dead man, dead man walking, death penalty, penalty, the chair, electric chair, electric chairs, smile, smiling, content, contented, content with his lot
"We've enjoyed our little visit, son, but we'd better leave—I think they're getting ready to fire."
Tags:firing squad, death, execution, dying, dies, died, execute, post, fires, shoot, shooting, parent, parents, unhelpful, visit, visiting, gun, guns, prison, prisoners, capital punishment, capital punishments, family, families, military, firing squads, court marshal, court marshals, mum, mums, mom, moms, mother, mothers, father, fathers, dad, dads
"If your guys aren't going to show, let's just call it a day."
Tags:firing, firing squad, gun, guns, death, deaths, dead, dying, died, kill, killed, firing line, execute, execution, executions, war, wars, military, militarise, militarism, militaristic, militia, militias, executioner, executioners, wall, capital, capital punishment, martial law, martial, violence, violence, late, lateness, tardy, tardiness, punctual, punctuality, dark, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, gallows humour, gallows humor, dead, deadpan
"Well, I'll be danged-he's got accordion boots."
Tags:slang, cowboy, cowboys, cow boy, cow boys, wild west, west, western, westerns, old west, wild wild west, horseback, horses, horse, pony, pony express, ye olde, modern, modern life, modernity, yehaw, cowboy hat, hat, 10 gallon hat, ten gallon hat, saloon, saloons, sheriff, sheriffs, deputy, deputies, absurd, absurdity, surreal, surrealism, accordion, accordions, execute, execution, dead, death, die, died, dies, hang, hanging, crimes, criminal, criminals
"Level with me, Colonel. What kind of worst-case scenario are we talking about here?"
Tags:colonel, colonels, worst-case scenario, worse case scenario, worst-case scenarios, worse case scenarios, execution, executions, death sentence, death sentences, firing squad, firing squads, execute, executes, court martial, capital punishment, capital punishments, court martials, soldier, soldiers
"The bagels—they just keep getting bigger, no?"
He replied all.
Tags:reply all, reply all button, accident, accidents, accidental, email, email chain, email chains, e-mail, e-mail chain, e-mail chains, faux pas, office worker, office workers, office drone, office drones, corporate culture, work email, work emails, corporation, corporations, burn at the stake, burns at the stake, execute, executes, executing, heretic, heretics, pariah, pariahs, outcast, outcasts, social outcast, social outcasts, burn the witch, nuisance, nuisances, overreaction, overreactions, overreact, overreacting, annoying, mistake, mistakes, common mistake, common mistakes
"Your 5 A.M. is here."
Tags:appointment, appointments, execution, executions, execute, executes, executing, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, criminal, criminals, criminality, wake, wakes, wake up, wakes up, waking up, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, receptionist, receptionists, secretary, secretaries, office assistant, office assistants, office assistance, death row, death rows, inmate, inmates
"And now let's welcome, for the first and last time . . ."
Tags:execution, executions, execute, executes, executing, modern life, capital punishment, guest, guests, talk show, talk shows, talk show host, talk show hosts, commodify, commodifies, commodification, death penalty, state murder, state murders, state-sanctioned murder, anti-death penalty, late night talk show, late night talk shows, dark humor, dark humour
"Thanksgiving shmanksgiving - we both know this is because I slept with your wife."
Tags:thanksgiving, turkey, turkeys, turkey dinner, turkey dinners, revenge, vengeance, other man, other men, cheat, cheats, cheater, cheaters, adulterer, adulterers, execute, executes, executing, execution, executions, fight back, fights back, fighting back, christmas, christmas dinner, christmas dinners, excuse, excuses, lame excuse, lame excuses
"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."
Tags:will, wills, last will and testament, family, family meeting, family meetings, execute, executes, executing, executioner, executioners, departure, departures, exception, exceptions, exceptional, attorney, attorneys, read out the will, reading out the will, estate, estates, inherit, inherits, inheriting, capital punishment, exceptional case, exceptional cases
"OK, now—this time for real!"
Tags:false start, false starts, miss, misses, missing, firing squad, firing squads, death penalty, capital punishment, death row, execution, executions, execute, executes, executing, executioner, executioners, frighten, frightens, frightening, scare, scares, scaring, scare to death, scares to death, scaring to death, target, targets, targeting, targeted
"Jeez, did we ever goof!"
Tags:execute, executes, executing, executioner, executioners, martyr, martyrs, religious martyr, religious martyrs, capital punishment, death penalty, blunder, blunders, prophet, prophets, divine, divinity, bless, blesses, blessing, blessings, angel, angels, afterlife, afterlives, judgement day, judgment day, mistake, mistakes, goof, goofs, pious, piety, believer, believers, god's will, sins, sinning, sinner, sinners, saint, saints, martyred, blame, blames, blaming, god's wrath
"Yes, we cater to a rather specialized clientele."
Tags:headsman, antique, antiques, executioner, executioners, execute, executes, executing, kill, kills, killing, killings, tortures, torturers, special interest, special interests, clientele, clienteles, cater, caters, catering, antique shop, antique shops, antiquing, antique store, antique stores, specialty, specialties, speciality, specialities
"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"
Tags:cop, cops, police, police officer, noir, crime thriller, crime fiction, criminal, criminals, on the run, detective, detectives, killer, killers, murderer, murderers, horror, old school, old school horror, film, films, movie, movies, execute, executed, executioner, executioners, capital punishment, jail, jailed, criminal, death row, dead, dying, die, died, death
"No blindfold, thanks."
"Your four-o'clock is here."
Tags:business, businesses, meeting, meetings, death, deaths, execution, executioner, executions, executioners, executive, executives, pun, office, offices, meet, fire, fired, firing, barbaric, corporate culture, corporate cultures, cutthroat, businessmen, businessperson, businessman, murder, killing, execute, executes
"And if we start televising the executions we can also market a hilarious bloopers tape."
Tags:marketing, marketing, brand, brands, branding, public relations, idea, ideas, profit, profits, amoral, immoral, shock, shocking, consumerism, mass media, media coverage, internet culture, sale, sales, dignity, capitalism, money making, salesmen, salesman, gross, board, boardroom, meeting, meetings, execute, executed, executioner, executioners, capital punishment, jail, jailed, criminal, death row, dead, dying, die, died, death, cop, cops, officer, officers, police officer, police officers, capital punishment, death penalty
An executioner practices beheading with his son on a tee-ball.
Tags:tee-ball, father-son bond, father-son bonds, bond, bonds, bonding time, bonding times, executioner, executioners, execute, executes, executing, beheads, father, fathers, dad, dads, son, sons, family business, family businesses, tee ball, tee, tees, tee off, tees off, teeing off, practice, practices, practicing, baseball bat, baseball bats, bat, bats, batting, batter, batters, swing, swings, swinging, axe, axes, blade, blades, executioner's blade
"I'm just the anesthesiologist."
Tags:anaesthesiologist, anaesthesiologists, anesthesiologist, anesthesiologists, anaesthesia, anaesthetics, knock out, knocking out, knocked out, anaesthetise, anaesthetised, anesthetise, anaesthetised, execute, executed, executioner, executioners, guillotine, guillotines, death penalty, medieval death penalty, death penalties
"Only one of them has a bullet, so you may be just seriously wounded."