Explaining Cartoons

"I know what you're thinking, but let me offer a competing narrative."

Beltway Car Pool"Under the proposal, regional 'health alliances'—essentially, giant insurance-buying pools—would collect money from employers and individuals and in return offer them a variety of competing health plans. A national health board would control the alliances' budgets and prevent them from raising insurance premiums over a certain amount. Cool!"

"It's simple enough, Langdon, but I'll explain again. To help pay off the debt that we incurred when we bought this company, we've sold some of you into slavery."

"Sometimes, son, the guilt inside builds up so much you have to vent the shame silo."

"Look, I'm doing a little me-time right now. Why don't you go ahead and do a little you-time, and then I'll be over at eight for a little us-time."

"I'm a doctor-I can add 'ectomy' to any word I choose."

"Since you're always asking, here's a list of my various kinds of sighs, with explanation of what each one means."

"Do you mind if I use yet another sports analogy?"

"It looks like the internal bleeding should - I'm sorry. It's taking everything in my power not to tickle you right now."

"Nothing personal, but could we break it off right there at the 'moreover'?"

"Daddy and his boss still like each other. They just don't want to work together anymore."

"The mansplaining was bad, but I'll take it over this insufferable manpologizing."

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

"Just like a man to tell me I'm not having a hot flash."

"But I haven't finished explaining about dollar-cost-averaging." "Sorry, I didn't register for this course."

Penguin Mating Rituals Modernize With Fashion

Playing the French horn:

"If I have to explain the joke, it's not funny."

"O.K. The forward rate for marks rose in March and April, combined with a sharp increase in German reserves and heavy borrowing in the Eurodollar market, while United States liquid reserves had dropped to forteen billion dollars, causing speculation that the mark might rise and encouraging conversion on a large scale. Now do you understand?"

Cavemansplaining.

"Here's the deal. I'll fly the plane, and you make the excuses."

"It's a recipe for self-care."

"If there's one thing I can't abide it's being interrupted while I'm mansplaining."

"I never knew what love was until you came along and explained it to me."

Vannamania