"Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time we created a lot of value for shareholders."
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shareholder, shareholders, stock, stockmarket, stockmarkets, stock market, stock markets, stockbroker, stockbrokers, priority, priorities, profit, profits, profit motive, profit motives, armageddon, apocalypse, post-apocalyptic, post-apocalypse, environmental destruction, catastrophe, catastrophes, extinction, human extinction, extinctions, value, bottom line, bottom lines, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, late capitalism, nuclear fallout, fallout, environmentalism, environmentalist, environmentalists, pollution, polluter, polluters, campfire, campfires, camp fire, camp fires, camp fire story, camp fire stories, scary story, scary stories, environment, corporation, corporations, corporate greed"Yes, the planet got destroyed. But for a beautiful moment in time we created a lot of value for shareholders."
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shareholder, shareholders, stock, stockmarket, stockmarkets, stock market, stock markets, stockbroker, stockbrokers, priority, priorities, profit, profits, profit motive, profit motives, armageddon, apocalypse, post-apocalyptic, post-apocalypse, environmental destruction, catastrophe, catastrophes, extinction, human extinction, extinctions, value, bottom line, bottom lines, capitalist, capitalists, capitalism, late capitalism, nuclear fallout, fallout, environmentalism, environmentalist, environmentalists, pollution, polluter, polluters, campfire, campfires, camp fire, camp fires, camp fire story, camp fire stories, scary story, scary stories, environment, corporation, corporations, corporate greed"It's a pity those awful people were right about the environment."
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environment, environmental, environmentalist, environmentalists, environmentalism, barren, wasteland, wastelands, global warming, climate change, word play, play on words, baby boomer, baby boomers, nature, green, recycle, recycling, greenhouse gases, carbon, carbon footprint, green house gases, greenhouse effect, carbon emissions, emissions, extinction event, extinction, extinct, critic, critical, critique, critics, critically"So they hold this conference to figure out why we're becoming extinct, and guess what they have for dinner."
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animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, amphibian, amphibians, frog, frogs, extinct, extinction, endangered, species, environmental issues, saving, rescuing, rescue, save, protect, conference, conferences, dinner, dinners, food, meal, meals, frog legs, ironic, irony"We've voted you off the island."
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animal, animals, unicorn, unicorns, reality television, reality tv, game show, game shows, tv, television, tv programmes, tv programme, tv show, tv shows, television shows, television show, television programme, television programmes, vote, election, elections, extinct, extinction, mythical creature, mythical creatures, island, islands, competition"All I'm saying is now is the time to develop the technology to deflect an asteroid."
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prevent, preventative, preventative measures, prevention, risk, risk averse, risk aversion, avoid, avoidance, averse, asteroid, asteroids, dinosaur, dinosaurs, prehistory, prehistoric, palaeontology, palaeontologist, palaeolithic, primordial, meteor, meteorite, tech, technology, talking animals, talking animal, doomsday, doomsayer, action, proactive, proactively, problem solving, if not now when, if not now, extinction, extinct, extinction event"Globally warm enough for you, buddy?"
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environment, environmental, environmentalist, environmentalists, environmentalism, barren, wasteland, wastelands, global warming, climate change, word play, play on words, baby boomer, baby boomers, nature, green, recycle, recycling, greenhouse gases, carbon, carbon footprint, green house gases, greenhouse effect, carbon emissions, emissions, extinction event, extinction, extinct, critic, critical, critique, critics, critically, bar, bars, barfly, bar fly, bartender, bartendersIt's a wonder they aren't totally extinct!"
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target, targets, target shooting, bird, birds, marking, markings, unfortunate, plumage, tropical bird, tropical birds, hunt, hunts, hunting, hunter, hunters, extinct, extinction, hunted to extinction, endangered, endangered species, target practice, target practise, wildlife, point, points, high score, high scores, high scoring"Thank you for letting us consider the enclosed manuscript. Although it has obvious merit, we are sorry to say that it does not suit our present needs."
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manuscript, manuscripts, submit, submits, submission, rejection, rejections, rejection letter, rejection letters, writer, writers, author, authors, submissions, pitch, pitches, pitch meeting, pitch meetings, dinosaurs, dinosaurs, extinct, extinction, extinctions, die out, dies out, dying out, writing"Momma? Is Rick Perry real?"
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rick perry, texas, governor, governors, climate change, global warming, ice cap, ice caps, monster, monsters, polar bear, polar bears, myth, myths, mythical, scary story, scary stories, extinct, extinction, environmental policy, secretary of energy, catastrophe, catastrophes, environmentalist, environmentalists, environmentalism"Your generous donation," said the Dodo, "will help us in our quest to find a cure for extinction."
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extinction, extinct, endangered species, endangered animals, cure, cures, charity drive, charity drives, charity pledge, charity pledges, dodo, alice in wonderland, lewis carroll, literary character, charles lutwidge dodgson, wonderland, animal rights, conservationist, conservationists, darwinism, natural selection, charitable, donation, donations, donating"Ichthyosaurs are all gone, mosasaurs are gone, pterosaurs are gone. There's none of the old crowd left."
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animal, animals, dinosaur, dinosaurs, extinct, extinction, extinction event, extinction events, history, historical, pre-history, pre-historical, prehistory, prehistorical, jurassic, ichthyosaurs, mosasaurs, pterosaurs, old crowd, friend, friends, friendship, getting old, getting older, growing old, growing older, ageing, aging, old age"I love the way you make those yams. You'll have to give me the recipe before your culture is obliterated from the face of the earth."
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yam, yams, sweet potato, sweet potatoes, indian, indians, american indian, american indians, native american, native americans, thanksgiving, thanksgiving dinner, thanksgiving dinners, recipe, recipes, pilgrim, pilgrims, culture, cultures, extinct, extinction, extinctions, genocide, genocides, genocidal, american history, united states history, steal, steals, stealing, stolen, appropriate, appropriates, appropriating, appropriation, cultural appropriation, imperialist, imperialists, imperialism, colonialism, colonialist, colonialists"Hey! Endangered species here, if you don't mind!"
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blood sport, blood sports, hunter, hunters, trophy hunter, trophy hunters, trophy hunting, rhino, rhinos, white rhino, white rhinos, endangered, endangered species, nuisance, nuisances, pot shot, pot shots, irritating, irritation, irritations, hunting, endangered animal, endangered animals, extinct, extinction, conservation, conservationist, conservationists, animal conservation"Bad news - the unicorns are gay."
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noah, noah's ark, bible, bibles, creation, creation myth, creation myths, creation story, creation stories, flood, floods, biblical flood, biblical floods, animal, animals, mythical creature, mythical creatures, unicorn, unicorns, lgbt, lgbtq, extinct, extinction, extinctions, great flood, noah, going extinct, endangered species, accident, accidents, mistake, mistakes, consequence, consequences, endangered, endangered species"I say we throw the damn things overboard."
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dinosaur, dinosaurs, brontosaurus, brontosauruses, noah's ark, noahs ark, flood, floods, flooding, extinct, extinction, extinctions, great flood, bible story, bible stories, die out, dies out, dying out, throw overboard, throws overboard, throwing overboard, inconvenient, inconvenience, apatosaurus, ark, arks"I'm afraid you have humans."
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environmentalism, environmentalist, environmentalists, human, mankind, pollute, pollutes, polluting, pollution, diagnose, diagnoses, diagnosing, diagnosis, diagnoses, doctor, doctors, human activity, climate change, global warming, environmental destruction, extinct, extinction, mass extinction, extinction level event, parasite, parasites, pest, pests, bad news, breaking bad news"Have you ever wondered what would happen if a giant hair ball were to slam into the earth?"
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animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, talking pet, talking pets, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking cat, talking cats, cat, feline, felines, cats, cat owner, cat owners, hairball, hairballs, furball, furballs, hair ball, hair balls, asteroid, asteroids, meteor, meteors, comet, comets, space, outer space, astronomy, earth, planet earth, extinction, extinction event, extinction events, mass extinction, explosion, explosions, disaster, disasters, science, wonder, slam, hit, collide, collision, collisions, wondering"If containment doesn't work, we can always eat them."
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caveman, cavemen, cavewoman, cavewomen, cave, caves, stone age, bc, b.c., early humans, cave-dweller, cave dwellers, prehistory, prehistoric, hunter gatherer, pre-history, pre-historic, prehistorical, paleolithic, dinosaur, dinosaurs, food pyramid, food chain, food chains, species, invasive species, nature, natural, natural order, pecking order, containment, paleontology, paleontologist, paleontologists, extinction, extinctions"Well, of course they don't exist. Now."
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hunter, hunters, hunting, game hunter, game hunter, game hunting, shooting, taxidermy, trophy, trophies, head, heads, myth, myths, legend, legends, mythical creature, mythical creatures, unicorn, unicorns, endangered animal, endangered animals, endangered species, endangered, extinct, extinction, environmental issues, selfish, greedy, self-centred, self-centeredDinosaur Slayers
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dinosaur, dinosaurs, cavemen, caveman, cave men, cave man, victory, victories, cave dweller, cave dwellers, extinction, dinosaur extinction, extinction of the dinosaurs, neanderthal, neanderthals, early man, prehistoric man, victory dance, victory dances, chest bump, chest bumps, hunt, hunting, hunter, hunters, blood sport, blood sports, historical inaccuracy, historically inaccurateThe Last of the Passenger Pigeons
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passenger, passengers, passenger pigeon, passenger pigeons, cheat, cheats, cheating, cheater, cheaters, taxi, taxis, cabby, cabbies, cab fare, cab fares, bad directions, extinct, extinction, extinctions, sucker, suckers, gullible, gullibility, carrier pigeon, carrier pigeons, new york, new york city, fare, fares, high fare, high fares, swindle, swindles, swindlingAsteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.
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dinosaur, dinosaurs, extinction, extinctions, climate change, climate change deniers, climate change denier, climate change denial, climate change scepticism, climate-change, climate-change denial, climate-change denier, climate-change deniers, asteroid, extinction level event, extinction level events, mass extinction, mass extinctions, fossil, fossils, bone, bones, dinosaur bones, blissful ignorance, unawareness, unaware, environmentalist, environmentalism, environmentalists, skepticism, climate change skeptic, climate change skeptics, climate scientist, climate scientists"When I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us."
"Better imaginary than extinct."
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imaginary, imagination, imaginary creature, imaginary creatures, fantasy animal, fantasy animals, unicorn, unicorns, rhino, rhinos, white rhino, the white rhino, extinct, extinction, endangered animal, endangered animals, come back, come-back, come backs, come-backs, retort, retorts, insult, insults, exchanging insults, conservationist, conservationists, environmental activist, environmental activists, environmental activism