Fad Cartoons

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

Mother Nature's Health Foods

"I've been wondering if there isn't some way we could capitalize on the cat craze."

"Organic is nice, but haven't you got anything digital?"

"Thanks. It's vintage."

"The active ingredient is marketing."

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

"Going rimless, with raw, jagged edges, is very hot right now."

"It's a man purse, but I have a gun in it."

"Eyeliner is back!"

"The two things that really drew me to vinyl were the expense and the inconvenience."

"There's so much pressure to like monkeys."

"Your posture is better, but the whole office calls you Professor Bouncy Jerk. F.Y.I."

Hashtag Woke Up Like This

"Apple Smoothie?"

"Nice lip piercing."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

"If they fit, we can return them."

"Flax is this years tofu."

Extraordinarily Ugly Clothes for Extraordinarily Attractive People

"Sometimes I fear that wheat germ has been lost in the health-food shuffle."

"Aren't they killing you?"

"Remember when these were all yoga centers?"

"I'm moving to France to not get fat."

"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."