"It's a baby. Federal regulations prohibit our mentioning its race, age, or gender."
Tags:baby, babies, it's a boy, it's a girl, child, children, having kids, kid, kids, having children, have children, regulation, regulations, genders, politically correct, political correctness, pc, p.c., pc culture, p.c. culture, federal government, privacy, private, offense, offended, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, nurse, family, families, parent, parents, political
Tags:infertility, family, families, parent, parents, parenthood, babies, baby, reproduction, reproduce, pregnancy, couple, couples, married, marriage, spouse, spouses, husband, husbands, wife, wives, farmer, farmers, bull, bulls, cow, cows, cattle, fertility, fertility clinic, farm animal, farm animals, animal, animals, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, vet, vets, veterinarian, veterinarians
"Someday, son, this will all be yours—and underwater."
Tags:family, families, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, parent, parenthood, parents, inheritance, inherit, inherited, climate, climate change, global warming, future, flood, floods, flooded, flooding, pollution, pollutants, pollute, pollutant, erosion, weather, weather patterns, weather pattern, ecology, ecologist, ecologists, rising sea level, rising sea levels, rising sea temperature, rising sea temperatures, sea, ocean, oceans, seas, sustainable, sustainable energy, climate, temperature, generations, generation, passed down, property, properties, land
"What a pity the season had to end like this!"
Tags:monster, sea monster, sea monsters, monsters, monstrous, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, tourist, tourist season, tourist trap, tourist traps, occult beast, occult, beast, beasts, shore, shores, seashore, sea shore, swimming, swim, swims, beaches, beach, coast, coastal break, season, end of the season, summer, summer time, pity, pitiful, cthulu, lovecraft, lovecraftian, lovecrafts, tentacle, tentacles, tentacled, at the beach, family, family holiday, family holidays, kaiju, kaiju, cosmic horror, horrors, cosmic entity
"Hi, Dad. Investment banking wasn't that great after all."
Tags:family, families, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, father, fatherhood, son, sons, return home, returning home, empty nester, empty nesters, living with parents, career, failed career, difficult career, job, work, unemployment, investment banking, business, bank, banks, money, welcome home, suitcase, suitcases, luggage, baggage, doorstep, family home
"Happy Mother's Day, Mom. And ditto for Thanksgiving and Christmas."
Tags:family, families, parent, parents, mom, mum, mums, mother, mothers, moms, greetings, celebrate, happy mothers day, happy mother's day, happy christmas, christmas, happy thanksgiving, event, events, events, lazy, distant, distance, executive, executives, businessman, businessmen, call, calling, wishes, busy, business
"Please, honey, I'm with a patient, and I've asked you not to call me on this line."
Tags:stethoscope, stethoscopes, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, work, working, family, families, partner, partners, phone call, phone calls, call, calls, this line, line, lines, impossible, absurd, works, medical, medicine, medicines, phonecall, phonecalls, calling at work, emergency, treating, diagnose, diagnosing, equipment
"Your mother and I love you, Nick, but we'll soon be turning you over to mainland China."
Tags:family, families, parent, parents, children, child, responsible, responsibility, responsibilities, hong kong, hk, colony, colonies, england, english, uk, united kingdom, gb, great britain, britain, china, chinese, one china two systems, dinner, family dinner, dinners, regional, 1997, sovereignty, hypocritical, hypocrite
"Howard, I think the dog wants to go out."
"I guess we'd be considered a family. We're living together, we love each other, and we haven't eaten the children yet."
A store clerk files greeting cards for different types of moms
Tags:card, cards, greeting card, greeting cards, mother's day, happy mother's day, mother's day card, mother's day cards, types of moms, types of mums, types of mothers, kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, soccer, hockey, son, sons, daughter, daughters, retail, consumerism, shopping, staff, clerk, clerks, section, sections, filing, sorting, putting away, organizing, organising
"Most of all, he'll be remembered for his irrepressible spirit."
Tags:funeral, funerary, funerals, funeral service, burial, burials, death, dead, corpse, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour, mourn, mourning, family, rigor mortis, rigor, mortis, spirit, spirited, determination, determined, optimism, optimistic, glass half full, optimists, optimist, ok, okay, outlook, outlooks, positive outlook, positive outlooks
"So how's the family? Still disintegrating?"
Tags:bar, bars, pub, pubs, patron, patrons, customer, customers, drink, drinks, drinking, drinking alcohol, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics, drunk, drunks, mental health, liquor, booze, family, families, family issues, family problems, disintegrating, falling apart, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
"I had a nice time, Steve. Would you like to come in, settle down, and raise a family?"
"His final wish was that all his medical bills be paid promptly."
Tags:medicine, medicines, medic, medical, medics, medical joke, modern medicine, modern world, exploit, exploitation, consumerism, consumer, capitalist, capitalism, private, private healthcare, healthcare, health, public healthcare, medicare, medi care, nhs, national health service, pro nhs, pro medicare, national health care, obamacare, death, dead, family, bitter humor, bitter humour, dark humor, dark humour, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour, console, consoling, consolation, intensive care, sick, sickness, ill, illness, illnesses, sicknesses, doctor, doctors, surgeon, surgeons, surgery
"Would you mind?"
Tags:gun, guns, gun control, second amendment, right to bear arms, firearm, firearms, handgun, weapon, violence, shooting, mass shootings, shootings, school shooting, school shootings, photo, photos, photograph, photographs, photography, tourist, tourists, tourism, camera, cameras, family, families, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, paraphernalia, picture, pictures, crimes, criminal, criminals
"So he got a trophy for good sportsmanship – that doesn't mean he won't go to law school."
Tags:families, family, parent, parents, pushy parent, pushy parents, competitive parents, competitive parent, aspire, aspiration, aspirations, career aspiration, career aspirations, baseball, baseball game, baseball trophy, trophy, trophies, good sportsmanship trophy, best sport trophy, best sport, good sport, good sports, good sportsmanship, bad sportsmanship, bad sport, bad sports, competitiveness, team player, not a team player, lawyer, lawyers, law school, law schools, law
Caveman Shadow Puppetry Of Pre-Historic Animals
Tags:cave, caveman, prehistory, prehistoric, pre historic, pre-historic, pre-history, cavemen, neanderthal, neanderthals, homo sapien, homo sapiens, homo erectus, early man, early men, stone age, stone-age, stone ages, stone-ages, dark age, dark-age, iron age, iron ages, bronze age, bronze ages, shadow, shadows, puppet, puppets, puppetry, shadow puppet, shadow puppets, shadow puppetry, shadow animal, animal, animals, kid, kids, child, children, entertaining, sabretooth, sabertooth, saber tooth tiger, sabre tooth tiger, dinosaur, dinosaurs, loving, love, happy family, happy families, domestic, domestic scene, family
Mom and Dad Really Lose It - 1/4 Mile.
Tags:automobiles, road signs, relationships, family, children, child-rearing, child rearing, vacations, holiday, holidays, family holiday, family holidays, family vacation, family vacations, discipline, vacations, mothers, fathers, rod trip, road trips, family outing, family-life, family life, parent, parents, long journey, are we there yet
"Don't say a word—my daughter gave me this tie."
"I'm sorry-his I.Q. is actually on the charts."
Tags:kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, education, school, schools, schooling, teaching, learning, teacher, teachers, student, students, classroom, classrooms, class, classes, raising kids, raising children, parent-teacher interview, parent-teacher interviews, parent-teacher conference, parent-teacher conferences, parent-teacher meeting, parent-teacher meetings, development, childhood, intelligence, iq, i.q., intelligence quotient, score, scores, chart, charts, normal, average, standardised testing, standardized testing, modern education, modern life
"I want everyone to leave the room, except for the cat."
Tags:pet, pets, cat, cats, will, wills, death, dying, deathbed, death bed, deaths, everyone leave, leave, leaving, wish, wishes, final wish, final wishes, last wish, last wishes, final-wish, last-wish, final-wishes, last-wishes, cat, family, families, love, important, importance, priority, priorities
"We don't believe in pressuring the children. When the time is right, they'll choose the appropriate gender."
"I'm a mother first, then a bad driver."
Tags:woman, women, females, car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, bad driver, bad drivers, female driver, female drivers, kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, family, families, role, roles, stereotype, stereotypes