Family-life Cartoons

"I think it is most admirable," said Alice, "that you gave up a thriving law practice to be with this lovely child."

"If your mother asks, we crossed at the corner."

"Ted Burton! How are you? How's my ex-wife? My kids? My dog?"

The Big Book of Parent-Child Fights

"No, no, Timmy. Not that one. I'm saving that one for last."

The Dream Remote

Mom and Dad Really Lose It - 1/4 Mile.

"Your mom cooks the chicken, but your dad makes it dance."

"Of course your daddy loves you. He's on Prozac - he loves everybody."

"Is this the story you want to tell on your college application?"

Theories Of Everything: 'Everything would be perfect if I had a dirt bike.'

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"This is boring. Let's have children."

"Please, Jason. Don't you want to grow up to be an autonomous person?"

"Mommy wants you to know where your food comes from."

"I think Dad is the reason Mom never married."

"I'm starting to wish we'd never bought him that thing."

"Let me tell you what it's like to be seven in this city."

"I see the empty nest as a place where an apartment can finally grow up."

You Must Be This Tall - To Have An Opinion

"I'm running away to join the Cirque du Soleil."

"So I blame you for everything - whose fault is that?"

"That's my dad back when he was, like, militarized."

"If you two don't stop bugging me, I'm never going to grow up and move out!"