"When you're on their flowers, you're a snail. When they want to eat you, suddenly you're an escargot."
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escargot, snail, snails, snail shell, snail shells, terminology, term, terms, fancy, mollusk, mollusks, mollusc, molluscs, entomologist, entomologists, entomology, gross-out, eat, eats, eating, garden snail, garden snails, fancy restaurant, french cuisine, french, euphemisms, mask, masks, masking, appetizing, appetising, unappetizing, unappetising"It's not just compared to the table, damn it. This is a small portion."
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nouvelle cuisine, fancy food, fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants, expensive restaurant, expensive restaurants, waiter, waiters, customer, customers, customer relations, diet, diets, dieting, portion control, weight watching, calories, small portion, small portions, restaurant, restaurants, small, tiny, teeny, teensy, dining alone, marketing, sales pitch, overselling"Your meal will be out shortly. The salmon was a little wilder than we anticipated."
"I'll give you a few moments to recover from the prices."
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menu, menus, posh restaurant, posh restaurants, fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants, expensive restaurant, expensive restaurants, date, dates, boyfriend, boyfriends, snotty restaurant, snotty restaurants, girlfriends, husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, shock, shocks, wallet, check, checks, cheque, cheques"I'll have a light beer, the house salad, the salmon, and the belly button."
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light beer, light beers, beer, beers, navel gaze, navel gazes, navel gazing, belly button, belly bottons, fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants, order, orders, ordering, waiter, waiters, waitress, waitresses, waitressing, distracting, distraction, distractions, bare skin, scantily clad, midriff, midriffs, freudian slip, freudian slips, stare, stares, staring, leer, leers, leering"This is a nice restaurant. Turn your cap around."
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rude, rudeness, manners, respectful, disrespect, disrespecting, hat, hats, wearing hats, wearing hats indoors, baseball cap, baseball caps, backwards, impudent, trend, trends, trendy, high class, upper class, fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants, casual, dress casual, casual wear, dressing casually, backwards cap, backwards caps, cap, caps"The maître d' here is a master at economic profiling.",
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maître d', maitre d, expensive restaurant, expensive restaurants, fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants, waiting staff, waitstaff, waiter, waiters, tip, tips, economic profiling, economic profiler, economic profilers, preferential treatment, eating out, dining out, tip, tips, service charge, service charges, gratuity, gratuities"They're doing wonderful things with food I hate."
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fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants, molecular gastronomy, cook, cooks, cooking, chef, chefs, restaurant, restaurants, dine out, dines out, dining out, eat out, eats out, eating out, preference, preferences, simple food, simple foods, meat and potatoes, picky, picky eater, picky eaters, respect, respects, respectful, compliment, compliments, backhanded, hated food, hated foods, least favorite food, least favorite foods, dislike, dislikes, disliking, snob, snobs, snobby, overpriced, customer satisfaction"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."
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france, french, french restaurant, french restaurants, french cuisine, snail, snails, eating snails, mistake, mistakes, big mistakes, fatal mistake, fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants, escargot, escargots, foreign language, foreign languages, ignorance, ignorant, pretentious, pretentiousness, pretension, foreign food, foreign foods, foreign cuisine"Regular service or affected?"
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accent, accents, affects, affected, pretense, pretenses, choice, choices, ordering dinner, order, ordered, dining out, eating out, restaurant, restaurants, posh restaurant, posh restaurants, fancy dining, fancy restaurant, haute cuisine, server, servers, service, waiter, waiters, foreign cuisine, foodie, foodies, date night, date nights, special meal, special meals, pretentious, pretension, ostentatious, affectation, ostentation, posturing, putting on airs, pretentiousness, snooty waiter, snooty waiters"I'll have the Master of Business Administration Lunch."
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mba, mbas, masters, masters of business administration, administration, upper management, management, business lunch, business lunches, lunch, lunches, white collar, white collar job, white collar jobs, administrator, administrators, masters degree, masters degrees, advanced degree, advanced degrees, set menu, set menus, fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants"If you order that, you will impress me."
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restaurant, eating out, dining out, waiter, waiters, waitstaff, waiting staff, recommendation, recommendations, chefs special, chefs specials, chef's special, chef's special, fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants, expensive restaurant, expensive restaurants, overwhelmed, overwhelming, fine dining, expensive food, foodie, foodies, uncultured"The grilled snapper also comes with a bonus audio commentary from the chef."
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dining out, eating out, restaurant, restaurants, fancy restaurant, fancy dining, posh restaurant, posh restaurants, waiter, waiters, server, servers, customer, customers, diner, diners, menu, menus, dinner special, dinner specials, foodie, foodies, food culture, chef, chefs, star chef, star chefs, order, ordering, ordering dinner, chef's table, audio commentary, commentary, celebrity chef, celebrity chefs, fine dining"We'll have a bottle of your flattest water."
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, order, orders, ordering, menu, menus, customer service, service, water, flat, flattest, still water, tap water, bottled water, request, requests, customer requests, pretentious, pretentiousness, fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants, sparkling water"Fresh sprinkles for your ice cream?"
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ice cream, sprinkle, sprinkles, pepper grinder, pepper grinders, fresh pepper, fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants, upscale, diner, diners, dining, eat out, eats out, dine out, dines out, dining out, pepper mill, pepper mills, dessert, desserts, pudding, puddings, tableside, waiter, waiters, waiting tables, front of house, front of house service, front of house servicesLe Doggy Bag
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doggy bag, doggy bags, dog, dogs, poodle, poodles, to-go, box up, boxes up, boxing up, leftovers, scraps, table scraps, feed, feeds, feeding, poodle, poodles, dinner, dinners, lunch, lunches, restaurant, french restaurant, french restaurants, fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants, pretentious, pretentiousnessJacket, Tie and Money Required
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dress code, dress codes, posh restaurant, posh restaurants, fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants, wealth, privilege, rich people, expense, expensive, expensive restaurant, expensive restaurants, french restaurant, french restaurants, eating out, dining out, exclusive, exclusivity, exclusive restaurant, exclusive restaurants, wealth gap, wealth divide, requirement, requirements, dress code policy, dress code policies, elegant, elegance"I'm going across the street for a sandwich and coffee. Can I get you something?"
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sandwich, sandwiches, coffee, coffees, lunch, lunches, lunch break, lunch breaks, order, orders, ordering, co-worker, co-workers, colleague, colleagues, option, options, dine, dines, dining, eat out, eats out, eating out, fancy restaurant, inedible, inedible food, hipster, hipsters, fine dining, cuisine, preference, preferences, simple food, simple foods, comfort food, comfort foods"I'll have the business prodigy's lunch."
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prodigy, prodigies, child prodigy, child prodigies, child genius, child geniuses, young professional, childrens meal, children's meal, children's meals, children's menu, child menu, fancy restaurant, wall street, manhattan, lunch, lunches, business lunch, business lunches, obnoxious, nepotism, nepotistic"Adrian says his bisque lacks focus."
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restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, customer, customers, patron, patrons, fancy restaurant, fancy restaurants, soup, soups, bisque, picky, fussy, picky eater, picky eaters, fussy eater, fussy eaters, complaint, complaints, complaining, lack, lacking, focus, rich, wealthy, the one percent, the 1%, kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, family, families, critique, critic, critics, criticising, criticizing, modern life