Financial Advisers Cartoons

"I was spreading some risk around, and apparently it all wound up in your portfolio."

"Right now I think the wisest strategy is to diversify among your mattresses."

"If we're being honest, it was your decision to follow my recommendations that cost you money."

"I don't know how the gods feel, but sacrificing financial advisors makes me feel happy."

"Looks like broker-assisted suicide."

Unusual Retirement Plans

"This stock market situation - what are the military options?"

"Instead, let me be your investment advisor and get you eleven-per-cent return, year in and year out, regardless of market conditions."

Build Your Own Portfolio

"Your money was working for you, but it suddenly quit and now it's working for me!"

"You can't learn the path to financial independence from just ANY infomercial."

"Really? You'd like to be part of this?"

"I still haven't found any gold for my portfolio."

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

"I'm sorry. Mr. Broadbank seems to have stepped away from his desk."

"Well, anyhow, it sure is handy having my broker right here in my cell!"

"Whatever the economy is doing, it's doing it without me."

"Of course he looks peaceful - he's lived his entire life in a bull market."

"Hon, would you say a kind word to Maria? She's entirely in technology stocks."

"It's Alan Greenspan - he thinks we're moving too fast."

"Don't worry about the two billion, Max—we've all done stupid things."

"I'll be okay when I retire. I'm maxing out my 401(K), stepping up my IRA contributions, and three times a year I bury two duffle bags filled with unmarked bills in my backyard."

"You wouldn't believe how good they are. I'm making money on my asbestos and horseshoe stocks."

"Forget the allowance. I'm getting more than I need from venture capital."

Dave And His Common-Law Accountant, Phil