"Have you been putting on weight?"
"It's your mother. She's floated back."
Tags:mother, mothers, mom, moms, mum, mums, ice flow, ice flows, ice floe, ice floes, eskimos, inuit, inuits, yupik, yupiks, mother in law, mothers in law, float, floats, float away, floats away, floating away, exile, exiles, exiled, sent away, die, dies, dying, death, deaths, in-law, in-laws, return, returns, returning
"Sorry, still rerouting."
Tags:gps, parade, parades, carnival, carnivals, mistake, mistakes, reroute, rerouting, funeral, funerals, coffin, coffins, modern life, modern times, modern technology, modern technologies, funeral bearer, funeral bearers, undertaker, undertakers, funeral director, funeral directors, dark humour, black humour, float, floats, carnival float, carnival floats
A gondolier walks into the ocean wearing a gondola shaped float.
Tags:gondolier, gondoliers, venice, beach, beaches, float, floats, beach holiday, beach holidays, beach vacation, beach vacations, summer holiday, summer holidays, gondola, gondola, venetian, venetians, boat, boats, venetian boatman, venetian boatmen, rowing, rower, rowers, canal, canals, inner tube, inner tubes, flotation device, flotation devices, italy, italian, italians
"The street's lower than the sidewalk, dear."
Tags:walk, walks, walking, pedestrian, pedestrians, laws of physics, cartoons, cartoon physics, look down, looks down, looking down, sidewalk, sidewalks, pavement, pavements, street, streets, fall, falls, falling, fall down, falls down, falling down, float, floats, floating, hover, hovers, hovering, dawning realization, dawning realizations, defy gravity, defying gravity, gravity
"If she floats, she's a witch. If she sinks, maybe she had a point about women's rights."
Tags:dunking chair, dunking chairs, cucking stool, cucking stools, ducking stool, ducking stools, ducking chair, ducking chairs, cucking chair, cucking chairs, witch, witches, witchcraft, womens rights, women's rights, feminism, feminist, feminists, accusation, accusations, float, floats, female rights, gender inequality
"Uh-oh. Not a good start to the holiday shopping season."
Tags:shop, shopping, shopper, shoppers, shopping season, shopping seasons, retailers, parade, parades, float, floats, balloon, balloons, omen, omens, bad omen, bad omens, city, cities, thanksgiving, crash, crashes, deflate, deflated, deflating, collapse, collapsed, parade balloon, parade balloons, consumerism, advertise, advertising, consumer, consumers
"Don't you dare float your head to the ceiling while I'm talking to you!"
"I have this crazy dream in which I'm the star of the Thanksgiving Day Parade."
Flotation Device on the Phone
Tags:modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, modern tech, modern technology, modern technologies, phone call, phone calls, mobile, mobiles, smartphone, smartpphones, cell, cells, cellphone, cellphones, beach, beaches, inflatables, float, floats, flotation device, flotation devices, beach holiday, beach holidays, beach vacation, beach vacations, summer holiday, summer holidays, summer vacation, summer vacations
"Congratulations, General. The anti-missile system wasn't fooled by the decoy balloon."
Tags:decoy, decoys, parade, parades, float, floats, defense, defense industry, distraction, distractions, distract, distracts, distracting, balloon, balloons, thanksgiving, army, navy, strategy, strategies, military strategy, military strategies, fool, fools, fooling, deceive, deceives, deceiving, deception, deceptions
"Mom! Dad! Do something!"
Tags:pool, pools, pool toy, pool toys, float, floats, floating device, floating devices, raft, rafts, floatie, floaties, animal, animals, talking animals, talking animal, captured, capture, hunt, hunted, hunting, kid, kids, child, children, parent, parents, mom, moms, mum, mums, dad, dads, father, fathers, mother, mothers
Graduation Day At Telekinesis School
Tags:telekinesis, telekinetic, psychic, psychics, psychic power, psychic powers, supernatural, super natural, graduate, graduation, congrats, congratulate, congratulations, college, college grad, grad school, university, university, cap, cap and gown, throw the cap, in the air, air, floating, float, floats, visual gag, image gag, visual joke, play on words, word play, word-play, medium, graduation day, graduation ceremony, graduation ceremonies
"We worry more about deflation."
From the tournament of neuroses parade