"Attention passengers. Flight 369 has been cancelled due to our desire to ruin your life."
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, traveler, travelers, travellers, travellers, passenger, passengers, flight, flights, flying, canceled, cancelled, desire, desires, wish, wishes, ruin your life, attention, announcement, announcements, problem, problems, departure gate, departure gates, cancellation, cancellations, customer service, service, bad service, bad customer service
"Our maintenance crew is fixing a problem that should only take a few minutes but which will haunt you for the duration of the flight."
Tags:air travel, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, traveling, travellers, travellers, travelling, passenger, passengers, announcement, announcements, bad sign, maintenance, maintenance crew, problem, problems, fixing, repairing, repair, repairs, safety, apprehension, foreboding, fear, fearful, anxiety, anxious, transportation
"Finding myself between a roc and a hard place...,"
Tags:literature, literary, word play, play on words, bookworm, book worm, bookworms, book worm, book, books, novel, novels, library, librarians, librarian, book lover, book lovers, literature, literary, lit, lit major, read, reading, avid reader, readers, reader, novel, novels, novelist, novelists, bookstore, book store, bookstores, book stores, travel, travelling, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, sinbad, voyage, voyages, modern, modern life, modern world, airplane, plane, planes, airline, flight, flights, flying
"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."
"In case of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you for two dollars."
Tags:airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, flying, stewardess, stewardesses, host, hostess, air, oxygen, oxygen mask, oxygen masks, mask, masks, loss of cabin pressure, cabin, cabins, emergency, safety, safety precautions, safety precaution, take-off, speech, presentation, passenger, passengers, dollar, dollars, money, nickel-and-dime, nickel and dime, overcharge, overcharging, charge for everything, pay, cost, costs, costs of flying, cost of flying
Tags:airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, jet, jets, air travel, plane travel, fly, flying, seatbelt, seatbelts, safety, health and safety, flight safety, airplane seatbelt, airplane seatbelts, aeroplane seatbelt, aeroplane seatbelts, safety demonstration, obvious, ignore, ignoring, ignorant, ignorance, naive, uninformed, disinterested, disinterest, state the obvious, safety demonstration, safety demo
"It's not enough that I fly first class...my friends must also fly coach."
"Interesting, but we can never forget that you went to a state college."
"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."
Tags:air travel, airport, airports, airline, airlines, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, plane, planes, flying, flight, flights, traveler, travelers, traveling, travellers, travellers, travelling, passenger, passengers, delay, delays, delayed, late, inconvenience, voucher, vouchers, service, customer service, death, life, waiting, wait, long waits, redeem, redeemable, courtesy, wasting time, wasted time
"I try to do my part."
Tags:recycling, recycle, jet, jets, airplane, private jet, private jets, jet airplane, plane, planes, trash, trashes, rubbish, bin, bins, trashcan, trash can, flying, wealth, wealthy, rich, high society, environmental, environmentalism, eco friendly, eco-friendly, irony, ironic, millionaire, millionaires, billionaire, billionaires, climate, climate change, waste, zero waste, zerowaste, carbon emissions, green house gases, greenhouse gases, reduce, reduce reuse recycle
Tags:fish, fishes, bird, birds, aves, gotta swim, gotta fly, slogan, slogans, tshirt, tee, tees, tshirts, t shirt, t shirts, t-shirt, t-shirts, fashions, trend, trends, following trends, fish gotta swim bird gotta eat, fly, flies, insect, insects, prey, predator, eating, eat, swim, swimming, fly, flying, nature, instinct, instincts, anthropomorphism, anthropomorphic, word play
"Up gets you nowhere."
Tags:desert, deserts, lost, crawl, crawls, crawling, survive, survives, survival, surviving, escape, escapes, escaping, run away, runs away, running away, supernatural, overheat, overheats, overheating, flee, flees, flees, fleeing, supernatural, fly, flies, flying, magical realism, help, seek help, seeks help, seeking help
"Oh my God -- I just remembered I can fly."
Tags:superhero, superheroes, super-hero, super-heroes, fly, flies, flying, flight, stranded, desert island, desert islands, marooned, maroon, thoughtless, thoughtlessness, clueless, out to lunch, space cadet, space cadets, memory, remember, remembers, common sense, no common sense, lack of common sense, superpower, superpowers, super power, super powers
"But having less legroom puts you closer to your screen."
Tags:plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, screen, screens, legroom, leg, legs, flight, flights, flying, fly, flies, hostess, air, air hostess, cramped, crowded, full, packed, space, no space, less space, economy, economical, economy class, film, in flight, in flight entertainment, in-flight, modern life, modern world, airline, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, travel, travels, travelling
Snowman going through airport security
Tags:airport, airports, international airport, international airports, flying, air travel, travel, tourism, passenger, passengers, screening, screenings, security screening, security screenings, security, protection, safety, scanner, scanners, metal detector, metal detectors, detector, detectors, officer, officers, tsa, t.s.a., transportation security administration, department of homeland security, snowman, snowmen, carrot, carrots, carrot nose, carrot noses, scarf, scarfs, tray, trays, put all your belongings in the tray, going through airport security, going through security
"Washington, New York; New York, Boston; Boston, Washington. How was your day?"
Tags:business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, businesspeople, businessperson, businesswoman, businesswomen, travel, travelling, corporate culture, corporate, travels, brag, bragging, insincere, work, working, jet, jetting, jet setting, fly, flying, flies, bragged, brags, boast, boasting, boasts, transport
"Isn't that other plane awfully close?"
Tags:plane, planes, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, near miss, near misses, near hit, near hits, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, fear of flying, flight, flights, phobia, phobias, phobic, flying, frequent flyer, frequent flyers, fear, fears, safety, pilot, pilots, captain, captains, air travel, air travelling, fear, fears, fearful, nervous, anxious, anxiousness
Tags:cheerleader, cheerleaders, cheer, cheering, cheerleading, cheer squad, cheer team, cheerleading team, cheerleading squad, squad, sport, sports, pilot, pilots, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, fly, flying, landing, take off, airport, airports, queue, encouragement, encourage, encouraging, unnecessary, runway, aircraft, aircrafts, aircraft marshall, aircraft marshalling, signals, signal, direct, directing, directions
"All we know so far is that something seems to have disrupted their migratory pattern."
"This is a business, Harris, no place for magical thinking."
Tags:office worker, office workers, office work, office job, office jobs, businesses, executive, executives, business executive, business executives, manager, managers, boss, bosses, monotony, monotonous, killjoy, killjoys, buzzkill, flying, floating, magic, modern life, broken dreams, job satisfaction, corporate world, the corporate world, corporation, corporations
"Yeah, but it doesn't smell like a bomb!"
Tags:airport, airports, airport security, security, airplane, airplanes, aeroplane, aeroplanes, safety, bomb, bombs, sniffer dog, sniffer dogs, security dog, security dogs, bomb dog, bomb dogs, luggage, baggage, border control, customs, officer, officers, screening officer, screening officers, screening, security screening, scan, scanning, scanner, protect, protection, dog handler, dog handlers, explosive, explosives, ineffective, useless, incompetent, air travel, transportation, flying, tsa, tsa agent, agent, tsa officer, transportation security officer, transportation security administration, homeland security, department of homeland security, screening equipment, bomb detection, canine, canines, terror, terrorism
"Geese today just don't seem to take pride in their appearance."
"Fetching faster than a speeding bullet is still fetching."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, talking pet, talking pets, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking dog, talking dogs, dog, dogs, dog owner, dog owners, fetch, fetching, playing fetch, fast, faster, faster than a speeding bullet, superhero, superheroes, hero, heroes, flying, floating, bullet, bullets
"How about air-quality canaries on every flight?"
Tags:management, upper management, big boss, boss, bosses, manager, managers, exec, execs, executive, executives, board, boardroom, chief exec, chief executive, chief executives, board member, bogus, idea, ideas, airline, airlines, airplane, plane, planes, airplanes, aeroplanes, aeroplane, fly, flying, flight, flights, canary, coal mine, canary in the coal mine, air quality, pollution, pollute, pollutants, useless, uselessness, irony, ironic, dramatic irony