"I'm a well known food critic, but I've never been able to turn it into cash."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, talking pet, talking pets, pet, pets, pet owner, pet owners, talking cat, talking cats, cat, feline, felines, cats, cat owner, cat owners, cat food, food, fussy, fussy eater, fussy eaters, picky, picky eater, picky eaters, critic, critics, food critic, food critics, reviewer, reviewers, money, job, jobs, profession, professions, fame, famous
"I can't find a decent bagel in this place."
Tags:chicken, chickens, bird, birds, pig, pigs, animal, animals, domestic animals, domestic animal, domestic, farm, farm animal, farm animals, food, foodies, food critic, food critics, pretentious, snob, snobby, snobbish, picky, critical, neighbors, neighbours, neighborhood, neighbourhood, city, cities, country, countryside, talking animals, talking animal, food, foods, baked goods, bagels, bagel
"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."
Tags:tmi, too much information, overshare, oversharing, over-share, over-sharing, overshares, over-shares, waiter, waiters, waitress, waitresses, server, servers, customers, odd customers, customer service, engineer, engineers, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, gastroenterologist, dining out, food, meal, meals, dining, restaurant, restaurants, good meal, foodie, foodies, fine dining, eating out, happy customer, happy customers, food critic, food critics, food criticism, food review, food reviewer
"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."
Tags:retraction, retractions, retract, retracting, dessert, desserts, pastry chef, pastry chefs, chef, chefs, cook, cooks, cooking, criticism, criticisms, critique, critiques, critiquing, inconsistent, inconsistency, food critic, food critics, review, reviews, reviewer, reviewers, reviewing, newspaper, newspapers, taking criticism, takes criticism, restaurant review, restaurant reviews, faint praise, damned, damning, insecure, insecurity, insecurities
"There's kale in every dish here - buy you don't even taste it."
Tags:kale, food fad, food fads, foodie, foodies, vegetable, vegetables, vegetable portion, vegetable portions, cuisine, cuisines, tastebud, tastebuds, taste-bud, taste-buds, taste bud, taste buds, trendy restaurant, trendy restaurants, food critic, food critics, cocktail, cocktails, martini, martinis
Tags:wine snob, wine snobs, wine, wines, wine connoisseur, wine connoisseurs, wine review, wine reviews, foodie, foodies, food snob, food snobs, wine lover, wine lovers, oenophilia, oenophile, oenophiles, vintage, vintages, vineyard, vineyards, wine tasting, wine tastings, food critic, food critics, wine critic, wine critics, bad review, bad reviews, cheap wine, cheap wines
"Uncle Tod's Reviews"
Tags:food poisoning, restaurant, restaurants, restaurant review, restaurant reviews, food review, food reviews, reviewer, reviewers, critic, critics, food critic, food critics, tender stomach, tender stomachs, tender tummy, tender tummies, illness, illnesses, outbreak, outbreaks, foodborne illness, foodborne illnesses, foodborne disease, foodborne diseases, foodborne pathogen, foodborne pathogens, bacteria, virus, viruses, contaminate, contaminated, contaminant, contaminants, sickness, priority, priorities
Tags:pearl gates, pearly gates, gates of heaven, heaven, afterlife, score, scores, rating, ratings, restaurant rating, restaurant ratings, ratings system, ratings systems, competition, points system, unfair, the afterlife, st.peter, st peter, saint peter, judgement, judgement day, dying, died, food critic, food critics
"We're having drinks tonight with some people who've eaten with some people who've eaten with that 'Times' food guy."
"One of our greatest minds in restaurant criticism."
Tags:great mind, great minds, greatest mind, greatest minds, restaurant criticism, critic, critics, critique, critiques, critiquing, criticise, criticises, criticising, food critic, food critics, grandiose, pompous, arrogant, arrogance, highfalutin, cocktail party, cocktail parties, review, reviews, reviewer, reviewers, reviewing, restaurant review, restaurant reviews
Two Eggs Any Way You Want 'Em!
Tags:breakfast, sausage, sausages, bacon, streaky bacon, canadian bacon, thick cut bacon, crispy bacon, bacon lovers, foodie, foodies, food critic, food critics, meal, meals, museum, museums, history, historic, historical, edifice, monument, monuments, coffee, coffees, tea, teas, choices, choice, opinion, opinions
"Your grandmother tasted like chicken."
Tags:little red riding hood, red riding hood, fairy tale, fairy tales, fairy story, fairy stories, big bad wolf, the big bad wolfs, chicken, chickens, insensitive, insensitivity, predator, predators, meat eater, meat eaters, european fairy tale, european fairy tales, inconsiderate, family, food critic, food critics
"It's delicious. I think it's rat poison."
"I don't care if you're a food critic - you're not combing back in my restaurant wearing only a sash."
"So no one actually sends you compliments. Isn't this enough?"