"All right, so I missed your soccer game. But didn't my assistant send you a lovely fruit basket?"
Tags:parent, parents, parenthood, bad parent, bad parents, father, fathers, fatherhood, dad, dads, son, sons, kid, kids, child, childhood, sports, sport, soccer, football, soccer game, football game, too busy, neglect, neglected, neglectful, forgetful, careless, hollywood, rich, famous, wealthy, rich people, wealthy people, convertible, convertibles, driving, drive, car, cars, disappoint, disappointed
"O'Brien, here, has written us a new play."
Tags:garden of eden, the garden of eden, original sin, genesis, the book of genesis, old testament, the old testament, the bible, biblical, christianity, christian, judaism, jewish, christians, football, foul, fouls, soccer, football game, football games, soccer game, soccer games, red card, red cards, football player, football players, soccer players, soccer players
"There's your problem."
Tags:baseball, baseball player, baseball players, pitcher, pitchers, pitching, tip, tips, athlete, athletes, athletic, pitching coach, pitching coaches, coach, coaches, coaching, throw, throws, throwing, problem, problems, pitch, pitches, football, footballs, train, trains, training, spring training
"Jason, I'd like to let you play, but soccer is a girls' game."
"I can no longer tell the difference between what's real football and what's fantasy football."
"It's a game of power, speed, agility, and grace, but, most of all, Tom, it's a game of points."
Tags:football, american football, football player, football players, interview, interviews, interviewed, cliche, cliches, cliched, game, games, match, matches, point, points, score, scores, scoring, sports journalist, sports journalists, banal, banality, obvious, agile, test, tests, pretentious, pretentiousness, self-important, self-importance
The solar system is replaced by sports balls.
"Finally, your halftime show - the Mueller report!"
"I'm sorry- I was wrong."
Tags:apologies, apologise, male entitlement, male privilege, sport, sports, sport commentators, sports commentator, sports commentating, broadcasting, sports broadcasting, guilt, guilty, admission of guilt, gender issues, sorry, narration, argument, argue, disagree, disagreement, fight, football, american football, hail mary, hail mary pass, hail mary football, damage limitation
"I see from your résumé that you enjoy attending the occasional soccer match."
A angel wearing a helmet poised to throw a football down from heaven.
"I can't live without you in my life, but I can live without you in my way.''
Tags:communication, communicate, communicating, communicated, communicates, talking, talk, talks, argue, arguing, argument, arguments, language, metaphor, metaphors, metaphorical, romance, romantic, married, married life, old married couple, couple, couples, angry, anger, angered, dredging, dredged, young love, trouble, troubled, problem, problems, wit, witty, response, tv, television, t v, distracted, distract, distraction, in the way, in my way, sport, sports, the game, season, football, sport, american football, breakup, break up, breakups, break ups
"I hope you like sports metaphors."
Tags:guru, gurus, wiseman, wise man, wise, wisdom, hike, hiking, climb, climbing, knowledge, tv, t.v.television, advice, advise, climbs, seek, seeking, search, searching, sports, sport, football, baseball, metaphor, metaphors, sports metaphors, televisions, disappointment, disappointing, zen, teacher, teachers, master, masters, expert, experts, cliche, cliches
A football team lines up under a guillotine.
On the cover of Sports Illustrated - Envy
Tags:player, players, football, american football, sport, sports, envy, envious, athlete, athletes, athletic, athletics, tackle, tackled, magazine, magazines, vanity, celeb, celebs, celebrity, celebrities, professional athlete, professional athletes, jealous, jealousy, fame, competitive, competition
"And here goes the gun signalling the start of the season."
Tags:gun, guns, starting gun, starting guns, start, starts, starting, football, football season, start, starts, starting, murder, murders, murdering, murderer, murderers, driven to murder, sports nut, sports nuts, sports addict, sports addicts, kill, kills, killing, killer, killers, drive insane, drives insane, driven insane, american football
"It was a complete blowout – I lost my seat, my house, my car, my wife, and my season ticket to the Redskins."
Tags:politics, politicians, election, elections, electoral loss, loss, lose, loser, lost seat, unseated, unseat, capitol hill, congress, congressmen, congressman, losing it all, lost it all, losing everything, big loss, big losses, high stakes, blowout, priorities, season ticket, sport, sports, sports fan, american football, football, football fan, football enthusiast, washington, washing d.c., divorce, divorces, divorce settlement, divorce settlements
Atlas holds up a football.
"You can have Burnett's old office and Burnett's old desk, but it's not right for you to have Burnett's old number."
Tags:replacement, replacements, retire, retires, retiring, layoff, layoffs, laid off, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, jersey, jerseys, football, sports, inherit, inherits, inheriting, inheritance, office, offices, white collar job, white collar jobs, athlete, athletes, retired number, retired numbers, legend, legends, all star, all stars, fire, fires, firing, firings, recession, legend, legends, legendary
"My mom makes me wear it."
Tags:safe, safety, safely, helmet, helmets, double, unnecessary, parent, parents, sport, sports, football, footballer, footballers, american, american football, american footballer, american footballers, mother, mothers, mom, moms, extra safe, safest, concern, concerned, worried, worry, protective, protect, protected, overprotective, overprotected
"I can't decide whether to turn pro first or go directly into rehab."
Tags:sport, sports, athlete, athletes, athletics, player, players, football, american football, football player, football players, college football, decision, decisions, decide, professional, pro, go pro, turn pro, professional football, pro football, league, leagues, football league, football leagues, student, students, college student, rehab, rehabilitation, medical, medicine, drug, drug abuse, drug addict, drug addicts, drug addiction, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholics, alcohol abuse, alcohol addiction, directly
Sexual Arena Football
"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"
"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."
Tags:soccer mom, soccer moms, parent, parents, parenting, parenthood, bad parent, bad parents, bad parenting, cheering on, cheer, cheering, support, supporting, supporters, supporters, enthusiasm, unenthusiastic, soccer, football, child, kid, kids, childhood, draw the line, drawing the line, unsupportive, keeping up appearances, disappoint, disappointment, disappointments, woo hoo, modern life