Fortunetelling Cartoons

"I'm getting your dear, departed husband—he can't believe you paid forty-five dollars for this."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"All I know is she has unlimited access."

"I'm having my entrails read."

"You will fall backward. But eventually you will spring ahead."

"Sorry—that's the screen saver."

"A wonderful cat is coming into your life."

"You will have a nice day."

"Now, right over here there's going to be some congestion, so get off I-95 and take the Hutchinson River Parkway."

"Your car is being hot-wired."

"Perhaps you'd like a second opinion?"

"It says, 'Someday you will die.'"

"I see a vague figure of someone groping...groping...groping..Yes, yes, it's coming in more clearly now! It seems to be—yes, it is a man! The man has a briefcase! And some papers! The man is an economist!"

"Being a psychic is hard. But I knew it would be hard."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the phone. You're telling me that this whole time you've just been making up the horoscopes?"

Two psychics have shops next to each other; one advertises "Second Opinions".

Misfortune cookie.

"You like people and people respond to that."

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

"You had a great summer and you're going to have a great fall."

"Madame Zelinski can provide an even more accurate. Reading with your date of birth and social security number,"

"Avoid financial ventures—your credit line is very short."

"Don't look so astonished. The crystal ball is not sacrosanct. For the professional a well maintained electric pencil sharpener is perfectly adequate."

"You have a strong interest in sports."

"I've made contact with your mother. She says she hates what you're wearing."