"I think Brad would've wanted us to do some lunges."
Tags:death, dead, funeral, funerals, burial, burials, funeral service, funeral services, burial service, burial services, pallbearer, pallbearers, casket, caskets, coffin, coffins, last wish, last wishes, last request, last requests, personal trainer, personal trainers, personal training, exercise, fitness, exercises, lunges, health, gym, gyms, fitness club, fitness clubs, health club, health clubs, fitness centre, fitness centres, fitness center, fitness centers
A Viking Funeral for my Goldfish
Tags:pet, pets, goldfish, fish, pet fish, dead fish, dead pet, dead pets, funeral, funerals, pet funeral, pet funerals, viking funeral, viking funeral, flushing goldfish, toilet, toilets, overkill, overdo, overdone, unnecessary, cremate, cremation, cremated, norse funeral, norse funerals, funeral pyre, funeral pyres
"But, seriously. . ."
Tags:grave, graves, graveyard, graveyards, gravestone, gravestones, tomb, tombs, mourner, mourners, mourning, mourn, mourned, griever, grievers, grief, griefs, burial, burials, cemetery, cemeteries, sense of humour, inappropriate, inappropriateness, joke, jokes, sense of humor, funeral, funerals, funeral humour, funeral humor
"Most of all, he'll be remembered for his irrepressible spirit."
Tags:funeral, funerary, funerals, funeral service, burial, burials, death, dead, corpse, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour, mourn, mourning, family, rigor mortis, rigor, mortis, spirit, spirited, determination, determined, optimism, optimistic, glass half full, optimists, optimist, ok, okay, outlook, outlooks, positive outlook, positive outlooks
"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."
Tags:death, dead, funeral, funerals, burial, burials, funeral service, funeral services, burial service, burial services, last wish, last wishes, last request, last requests, coffin, coffins, casket, caskets, pallbearer, pallbearers, sport, sports, winter sports, bobsled, bobsleds, bobsledder, bobsledders, bobsled team, bobsled teams, bobsledding, track, tracks, bob sled, bob sleds
"Sit down, Peter, you can't object at a funeral."
"Beuford was too old for a sexual frenzy."
Tags:frenzy, frenzied, die, dies, dying, funeral, funerals, wake, wakes, die too young, dying too young, dead too young, fantasy, lament, laments, lamenting, mourn, mourns, mourning, mourner, mourners, too old, die too old, dying too old, elderly, elder, elders, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens
"Why would He take someone so toned?"
Tags:dark humour, dark humor, black humor, black humour, dead, die, died, dying, death, funeral, funerals, wake, wakes, grave, graves, graveyard, cemetery, cemeteries, weight lifter, weight lifting, weight lifters, fitness, fit, muscles, muscular, toned, attraction, eye candy, health, headstone, headstones, gravestone, gravestones
"What will it take to put one of you two into a brand-new Eterna-5000 today?"
Tags:death, planning for death, coffin, coffins, casket, caskets, casket store, casket stores, coffin store, coffin stores, funeral, funerals, funeral planning, end-of-life planning, after death planning, salesman, salesmen, making the sale, sale, sales, selling, shopping, customer service, old age, getting old, getting older, growing old, growing older, middle-age, middle-aged, old people, elderly, elderly people, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, ageing, aging, customer, customers, shopper, shoppers, consumerism, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
"I think Republicans and Democrats alike can agree that Frank Shustermann is dead."
"Harry insisted on doing everything himself."
"Are you there now, Linda? Are you in that happy, safe place that brings you peace and assurance, and deep contentment?"
Tags:therapy, therapeutic, therapist, therapists, counselling, counselor, counsellor, psychology, psychiatrist, psychiatry, psychiatric, psychiatrics, psychiatrists, psychologists, psychological, funeral, funerals, death, dead, deceased, respect the dead, respect for the dead, happy place, safe place, happiness, schadenfreude, revenge, vengeful, disturbed, disturb, disturbed, mental illness, mental health, health, healthy, bad intentions, bad, evil, visualization, visualisation, hypnosis, hypnotic
"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."
Tags:death, died, die, dies, dying, funeral, funerals, funerary, funeral procession, wake, the wake, holding a wake, open casket, casket, caskets, coffin, coffins, comment, commenting, everyone's a critic, comb over, combover, comb-over, hair, haircut, haircare, bald, balding, male pattern baldness, male patterned baldness, fashion, fashions, gossup, gossiping, gossipy, fashionable, black humor, dark humor, dark humour, black humour
"He's in a better place now-no offense to Buffalo."
"Before we continue, is there anyone else present who has never seen a dead person?"
Tags:death, dead, funeral, funerals, funeral service, funeral services, wake, wakes, memorial service, memorial services, memorial, memorials, casket, caskets, coffin, coffins, open-casket, dead body, dead bodies, corpse, corpse, new experience, new experiences, interruption, interruptions, interrupting, curious, curiosity, black humour, black humor, dark humor, dark humour
"He's still in therapy."
Tags:therapy, therapist, therapists, psychology, psychologist, psychologists, psychiatry, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, counselor, counselors, counseling, counsellor, counsellors, counselling, funeral, funerals, memorial, memorials, wake, wakes, still, life after death, coffin, coffins, casket, caskets, corpse, corpse, dead body, dead bodies, deceased, dead, death, mental health, healthcare, health care, pointless, useless
"That get-well card we sent certainly was a waste of money."
"I was hoping taxes would go first."
Tags:irs, i.r.s., internal revenue service, tax, taxes, taxation, money, tax office, tax offices, taxman, taxmen, death, grim reaper, grim reapers, reaper, reapers, embodiment of death, death personified, spectre of death, thanatos, angel of death, death and taxes, funeral, funerals, wake, wakes, casket, caskets, coffin, coffins, dead
"I don't want to remember her like this. I want to remember her for the mean thing she said in 1981."
Tags:death, dead, funeral, funerals, funeral service, funeral service, wake, wakes, memorial, memorials, memorial service, memorial services, casket, caskets, coffin, coffins, dead body, dead bodies, corpse, corpses, mourn, mourning, mourner, mourners, bereaved, grieving, remember, remembering, remembrance, remembering the dead, memory, memories, mean, mean comment, mean comments, comment, comments, petty, grudge, grudges, holding a grudge, resentful, resentment, bitter, relationship, relationships, family, families
"Wherever he is, I know he'll be upgraded."
Tags:death, dead, burial, burials, memorial, memorials, funeral, funerals, burial service, burial services, memorial service, memorial services, funeral service, funeral services, cemetery, cemeteries, graveyard, graveyards, tombstone, tombstones, gravestone, gravestones, headstone, headstones, grave, graves, marker, markers, mourner, mourners, mourning, grieving, bereaved, upgraded, upgrade, upgrades, first class, business class, travel, tourism, traveler, travelers, traveller, travellers, point, points, point card, point cards, heaven, after death, life after death, consumerism
"No, the urns are pretty much one size fits all."
"That's the fourth husband she's put in the ground without any concern for what it's doing to the environment."
A dead business executive is lowered into the grave with his desk
Tags:dead, death, funeral, funerals, grave, graves, tomb, tombs, graveyard, graveyards, cemetery, cemeteries, burial, burials, priest, priests, businessmen, businessman, desk, desks, business executive, business executive, executive, executives, workaholic, workaholics, work to death, overwork, work, career, careers, job, jobs, manager, managers, management, pallbearer, pallbearers
"We never say 'death'—we prefer 'deadness.' "
"Will you all please bow your heads for the reading of the menu."