"Why don't we make it simple this year, and just give everyone the finger?"
Tags:christmas, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, shop, shops, shopping, holiday season, holiday seasons, xmas, x-mas, simplify, simplifies, homemade gift, homemade gifts, gift idea, gift ideas, present idea, present ideas, holiday stress, stress, stressing, stressful, anxiety, anxieties, holiday shopping
"We gave them corn last year!"
"What do you get the man who appreciates nothing?"
"Gee, Jeffrey, an annual report on our marriage is a novel anniversary gift, but I was hoping for something a little more romantic."
Tags:romance, marriage, love, anniversary, modern love, anniversary gift, anniversary gifts, annual report, annual reports, report, reports, romantic gift, romantic gifts, gift idea, gift ideas, anniversary present, anniversary presents, anniversary celebration, anniversary celebrations, milestone, milestones, quarterly report, annual earnings, mankoff
"You know what I want for our twentieth anniversary? A Dumpster."
Tags:dumpster, dumpsters, cleanout, clean out, clean outs, anniversary, anniversaries, wedding anniversary, wedding anniversaries, clutter, clutters, cluttered, spring clean, spring cleans, spring cleaning, rubbish, junk, hoarder, hoarders, hoarding, hoard, hoards, hoarded, old married couple, old married couples, gift idea, gift ideas, present idea, present ideas
"Giving our nation a few really expensive gifts would be a nice way to break the ice."
Tags:gift, gifts, gift idea, gift ideas, ice breaker, ice breakers, break the ice, breaks the ice, breaking the ice, negotiation, negotiations, negotiator, negotiators, international relations, international negotiations, present, presents, nato, nato ally, nato allies, nation, nations, national interest, national interests, political negotiations
Gifts for a cloned baby!
Tags:clone, clones, cloning, human clone, human clones, human cloning, sheep, gift, gifts, gift idea, gift ideas, genetics, gene, genes, duplicate, duplicates, doppelganger, doppelgangers, double helix, biologist, biologists, biology, book, books, crib, cribs, freak, freaks, freak of nature, freaks of nature, book, books, recommendation, recommendations, mutant, mutants
"How about a sampler of our most popular denominations?"
Tags:denomination, denominations, sampler, samplers, customer service, customer services, customer, customers, bank, banks, bank customer, bank customers, banker, bankers, free sample, free samples, gift counselor, gift counselors, gift counsellor, gift counsellors, gift idea, gift ideas, coin, coins, cash, currency, currencies
A man goes insane from receiving too many ties.
Tags:stocking stuffer, stocking stuffers, stocking, stockings, gift, gifts, present, presents, christmas present, christmas presents, christmas gift, christmas gifts, gift idea, gift ideas, unoriginal, kill, kills, killing, killer, killers, strangle, strangles, strangling, strangler, stranglers, drive insane, driven insane, cliche, cliches, tie, ties, necktie, neckties, filler, christmas, father, fathers, dad, dads, husband, husbands
Gift Suggestions for Post-Diamond Wedding Anniversaries
Tags:wedding, wed, wedding anniversary, wedding anniversaries, anniversary, anniversaries, marriage, married, marry, growing old, growing old together, couple, couples, elderly couple, elderly couples, old age, old, impossible gifts, unlikely gifts, ageing, his and hers, his 'n' hers, life, life cycle, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, celebrate, celebration, celebrations, relationship, relationships, drugged up, pain relief, medicine, surgery, surgeries, organ replacement, retire, retirement, retired, gift, gifts, gift idea, gift ideas, present, presents, wish list, wish lists
"Darling! Just what I wanted."
An Unfortunate Museum Gift Shop
Tags:marcel marceau, georges seurat, maurits cornelis escher, m.c. escher, claes oldenburg, banksy, jackson pollock, art gallery, art galleries, art exhibit, art exhibits, art exhibition, art exhibitions, art museum, art museums, gift shop, gift shops, museum, museums, famous artist, famous artists, gift idea, gift ideas, retail idea, business idea, business ideas
"Party at Gronk's tonight. I said we'd bring the fire."
"If you don't like it you can always use it as another example of how I have no idea who you really are."
Tags:husband, husbands, wife, wives, married life, married couple, married couples, gift, gifts, present, presents, marital problem, marital problems, marriage problem, marriage problems, stranger, strangers, love life, present idea, gift idea, gift ideas, present ideas, inspiration, birthday, birthdays, christmas, christmases, xmas, xmases
"If that's another dead bird, we're not doing Christmas next year."
"Does she like to smell strange?"