Giveaways Cartoons

"Did we mention that we spent last summer in Maine?"

"I feel that if I wait here long enough Oprah will give me something."

"Could you stop referring to the interest rate as 'the vig'?"

"They're going to make it tough for you around here when they find out you used to be a cop."

"Let me guess. You had it up to here with the world of business, so you packed it all in and started your own winery."

"You've been fooling around with alternative medicines, haven't you?"

Government cheese and crackers.

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

"So there you are—I thought I heard someone squishing moodily about the moors."

"Tiffany tells me you were at Sundance."

"I had a wonderful time. I just wish you were Oprah giving away cars."

A halo lifts a toupee off an angel.

"Good Grief! He thinks he is Santa Claus!"

"I'm going out for a loaf of bread, dear-never to return."

Too Much Money

"Just how do you propose to pay for this giveaway?"

"Pardon me, sir, it's your ten-o'clock cabal."

"Hi. I'm calling at random to give you 3 million dollars, but since your're not at home, I'm going to call somebody else."

"This one is 'pro bono'."

"Somehow or other he keeps spotting us!"

"You're Slime, right?"

"'I'm going to kill you, Jenny Sue! Ha, ha, ha! Yes, I, Roger Z. Gramble, am going to kill you! 'No, no—don't!' 'Get ready, Jenny! Ha, ha, ha!' 'No, Roger—don't kill me!' 'Ha, ha, ha!' 'No, Roger!' ... "

"Actually, I'm not Mr. Wintraub. I'm just sort of taking over for a while."

"Send over some more birdseed—and hurry!"

How to Tell What Your Snake Swallowed