"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."
Tags:god, creator, creators, divine creator, divine creators, animal kingdom, design, designs, designer, designers, artist, artists, artistic, artistry, artistic statement, artistic statements, production design, production designer, production designers, director, directors, fickle, wild animal, wild animals, grand design, production assistant, production assistants, angel, angels, creation, stripes, spots, zebra, zebras, giraffe, giraffes, lion, lions, elephant, elephants, amoeba, amoebae, indecisive, indecision
"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"
"Wait. Don't look. O.K., over my left shoulder-is that God?"
"God must have been very pleased."
Tags:france, notre-dame, cathedral, cathedrals, church, churches, architecture, architect, architects, religion, religious, christianity, christian, christians, catholic, catholics, catholicism, god, happy, pleased, impressive, impressed, worship, worshipping, landmark, landmarks, medieval, history, historical, gothic, art, tourist, tourists, tourism
"If you laugh at all of God's jokes, he's never going to learn what's funny."
"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."
Tags:god, gods, heaven, heavens, angel, angels, admit, admitting, admittance, embarrassing, embarrassed, embarrassment, reason, cause and effect, causality, philosophy, philosopher, philosophers, theism, theist, teists, metaphysics, teleologists, theory of everything, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, disappointment, disappointments, disappointing
"I may be a jackal-headed god of the underworld, Janet, but I'm also your lawyer."
Tags:nubis, underworld, god, gods, egyptian god, egyptian gods, egyptian, egyptians, ancient egypt, jackal, jackals, judgement, judgements, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, legal representation, legal representative, legal team, legal teams, advice, advisor, advisors, soul, souls, feather, feathers, weight, weigh, weighing
"All right. O.K. I'll admit that last request may have been a little over the top."
Tags:prayer, pray, praying, prayers, kneel, kneeling, god, gods, god in heaven, heaven, request, requesting, prayed, prays, religion, religious, religiously, religions, demanding, demand, demands, demanded, high maintenance, fickle, lightning, lightening, thunderbolt, thunderbolts, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, worship, worships
"I don't know how the gods feel, but sacrificing financial advisors makes me feel happy."
Tags:sacrifice, sacrifices, sacrificing, financial advisor, financial advisors, financial adviser, financial advisers, god, gods, human sacrifices, human sacrificing, volcano, volcanoes, crook, crooks, hated, hatred, hatreds, stockbroker, stockbrokers, broker, brokers, money manager, money managers, pariah, pariahs, social outcast, social outcasts, unpopular, unpopularity
"It has yet to turn a profit."
Tags:god, gods, heaven, heavens, religion, religious, profit, profits, angel investor, angel, angels, startup, start-up, upstarts, upstart, up-start, stock, stocks, share, shares, share, stock broker, stock-broker, stock-brokers, stock market, internet, online, on-line, dotcom, dotcom boom, unicorn, unicorns, invest, invests, disappoint, disappointed
"I had a productive week."
Tags:how was your, week, productive, productivity, productively, produce, produced, creative, creatively, create, creation, creationism, creationist, religion, religions, religious, god, gods, godly, in the beginning, beginning, christian, christians, christianity, work, working week, work week, long week, husband, husbands, universe, universes, world, worlds, productivity culture
Noah's Ark Paper Airplane
Tags:noah's ark, ark, bible, bible story, biblical, christian, christianity, christians, paper airplane, paper aeroplane, paper airplanes, paper aeroplanes, flood, floods, old testament, genesis, book of genesis, myth, myths, god, religion, religions, religious, free spirit, carefree, wanderlust, paper plane, paper planes, symbolism, animals
Tags:god, heaven, gods, christian, lightning, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, extreme weather, bad weather, dog, dogs, pet, pets, pet dog, pet dogs, dog owner, dog owners, playing fetch, fetch, mythology, greek mythology, myths, god of lightning, zeus, thor, norse mythology, play, playing, perun, indra, hinduism, thunder, thunder storm, thunder storms, thunderstorm, thunderstorms, god of thunder
"Nooo. Not my legs."
Tags:serpent, serpents, snake, snakes, garden of eden, eden, god, old testament, genesis, book of genesis, bible story, bible stories, curse, curses, cursing, adam and eve, original sin, leg, legs, lose your legs, loses your legs, losing your legs, leg loss, amputations, amputate, amputates, amputating
"You. You. And you."
Tags:heaven, gates of heaven, the gates of heaven, heavens gates, pearly gate, pearly gates, angel, angels, bouncer, bouncers, security, security guards, security guard, crowd, crowds, queue, queues, selection, selection process, club, clubs, clubbing, admitting, admittance, admitted, exclusive, exclusion, elite, the elite, elites, chosen, chose one, the chosen ones, gods chosen ones, god's chosen ones, rope, ropes, barrier, barriers, ped barrier, ped barriers, crowd control, control, controls, controlled, contolling, crowd controlling, crowd controls, crowd controller, christianity, judaism, re teacher, religious education, re, religious studies, rs teacher, rs teachers, re teachers, pick, picking, choose, choosing, discriminate, discrimination, god
"Nobody 'leaked' your transgressions, Mister. We know everything up here."
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, afterlife, heaven, heaven's gate, entrance to heaven, st. peter's gate, saint peter's gate, pearly gates, st. peter, saint peter, angel, angels, god, watching, leak, leaks, leaked, transgression, transgressions, sins, know, knowing, everything, surveillance, under surveillance, no privacy, invasion of privacy, security, entering heaven
"You picked the wrong religion, period. I'm not going to argue about it."
"That's just so God."
"It's called monotheism, but it looks like downsizing to me."
Tags:roman empire, christian, christians, christianity, god, gods, greek, roman, greek god, greek gods, myth, myths, mythology, mythological, monotheism, monotheist, monotheists, zeus, mercury, athena, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, job cut, job cuts, restructure, restructures, restructuring, corporate downsizing, layoff, layoffs, laid off, goddess, goddesses, pagan, pagans, paganism, spread of christianity, corporate culture
"Here comes God. See you later."
"I have the whole universe to look after, so I'm putting you in charge of this planet."
Tags:heaven, god, in charge, earth, stupid, whole universe, sons, idiots, planets, incompetents, incompetent, planet, universes, delegate, delegates, son, caretaker, caretakers, responsible, responsibility, irresponsible, son, house sit, house sits, house sitter, house sitters, earth, planet earth, dominion, nepotism
"You had more money than God. That's a big no-no."
"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."
Tags:caveman, cavemen, prehistory, prehistoric, pre-history, pre-historic, volcano, volcanic, volcanoes, volcanic eruption, religion, faith, worship, idol, idols, idolize, power dynamic, power dynamics, god, gods, coincidence, coincidences, logical fallacy, science, scientific method, act of god, acts of god, religious danger, divine intervention, religious framework, religious interpretation, religious interpretations, primitive, primitives, civilization, civilisation, faith, faiths, religions, natural disaster, anthropologist, anthropologists, anthropology, dog, dogs, omen, omens, miracle, miracles, dog god, dog gods
"Everyone wants to known what Jesus would do. No one ever asks how Jesus is feeling about his complicated relationship with his father."
Tags:complication, complicated, complications, relationship, relationships, father, fathers, dad, dads, son, sons, father-son, jesus, bible story, bible stories, gospel, gospels, dysfunctional relationship, dysfunctional relationships, god, new testament, christianity, wwjd, what would jesus do, christian, christians
"So it's a case of he said, she said, it said."
Tags:garden of eden, genesis, book of genesis, he said she said, he said, she said, story, stories, serpent, serpents, tree of knowledge, forbidden fruit, forbidden fruits, rashomon effect, lie, lies, liar, liars, self-serving, blame, blames, blaming, shift blame, shifts blame, shifting blame, point fingers, pointing fingers, finger-pointing, god, broken law, broken laws, bible story, bible stories, creation story, creation stories