"I've decided to return to my first passion in life—selling drugs to kids."
Tags:first passion, first passions, drug dealer, drug dealers, drug dealing, drug abuse, drug abuser, drug abusers, drug abusing, passion, passionate, golf, golfs, golfer, golfing, dream job, dream jobs, drug pusher, drug pushers, pusher, pushers, employment, gainful employment, nostalgia, nostalgic, happy, happiness, illegal activity, illegal activities
"Slicey, Trappy, Bogey, Toppy, Mulligan, Hooky, Threeputty
A golfer contemplates a shot while a boy waits with an apple on his head.
Tags:golf, golfs, golfing, golfer, golfers, professional golfer, professional golfers, william tell, apple and the arrow, difficult lie, difficult lies, tee, tees, tee off, tees off, teeing off, sports, pro golf, pro golfer, pro golfers, shot, shots, shooting, arrow, arrows, aim, aims, aiming, stunt, stunts, stunt shot, stunt shots
"Go with two-iron, Kemosabe - distance in desert not what it seems."
Tags:lone ranger, tonto, kemosabe, caddie, caddies, caddying, golf, golfs, golfing, golfer, golfers, desert, deserts, tip, tips, coach, coaches, coaching, sidekick, sidekicks, two-iron, two-irons, club selection, golf club selection, recommendation, recommendations, recommend, recommends, recommending, golf club, golf clubs, western, westerns, old west
The Male Biological Clock.
Tags:golf, mental images, middle age, biological clocks, the male biological clock, age, old age, old age, leisure, relaxation, sports, family, golfer, golfers, golfing, golf game, golf swing, ageing process, aging process, biological clock, pensioner, pensioners, senior citizen, senior citizens, midlife crisis, mid-life crisis, ageing process, aging process
"And if the golf area of the brain was somehow destroyed, there might be a little something extra in it for you."
Tags:hospital, hospitals, medical, medicine, doctor, doctors, patient, patients, health, health care, healthcare, operation, operations, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, consultation, consultations, brain surgery, brain surgeon, brain surgeons, neurology, neurologist, neurologists, neurosurgeon, neurosurgeons, sport, sports, golf, golfing, golfer, golfers, hobby, hobbies, leisure, money, bribe, bribes, bribing, corruption, corrupt, area, area, destroyed, brain, brains, relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, manipulating, manipulation
"Let me just tap this in, Greg, then you can putt out."
Tags:sport, sports, golf, golfing, golfer, golfers, golf club, golf clubs, golf green, golf greens, hole, holes, golf ball, golf balls, golf course, golf courses, putter, putters, flag, flags, put, putting, tap, frustrated, frustration, anger, angry, anger management, competition, competitive, too competitive, sportsmanship, gun, guns, firearm, firearms, pistol, pistols, fire, shoot, shooting, making par, gentleman's sport, gentleman's game, man, men
"Use a five iron!"
Death takes a working holiday.
Tags:death, grim reaper, grim reapers, reaper, reapers, embodiment of death, death personified, spectre of death, thanatos, angel of death, holiday, holidays, working holiday, vacation, vacations, break, breaks, sport, sports, hobby, hobbies, leisure, golf, golfing, golfer, golfers, golf course, golf courses, golf cart, golf carts
"So how was the Edgar Willoughby Classic?"
"So far, so good!"
"You're Not Bending Your Knees."
Surgical Ward- Please Replace Divots
Tags:surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, operation, operations, operating room, operating rooms, surgical ward, surgical wards, operating theatre, operating theatre, operating theater, operating theaters, golf, golfer, golfers, golfing, divot, divots, golf divot, golf divots, hospital, hospitals, hippocratic oath, malpractice, medical malpractice
A golfer walking through the rough sees a sign near the green that reads "Resume counting".
"Just imagine the hold is world peace and the sand traps are nuclear Armageddon and the club is your ability to deal calmly and rationally with complex situations."
"I am the Lady of the Lake, and because thou hast defiled my crystal waters I must hence smite thee. That or penalize thee a stroke. Your call."
Tags:sport, sports, golf, golfer, golfers, golfing, water trap, water traps, water hazard, water hazards, hazard, hazards, water, pond, ponds, lake, lakes, golf course, golf courses, excalibur, king arthur, lady of the lake, camelot, arthurian, literature, myth, myths, legend, legends, folklore, nimue, sorceress, sorceresses, enchantress, enchantresses, magic, mystical, magical, penalty, penalties, punishments, death, penalty stroke, penalty strokes, threat, threats, threatening, stroke, strokes, score, scores
"No matter how I treated you, Julia, haunting a man at golf is hitting below the belt."
Tags:sport, sports, golf, golfer, golfers, golfing, gold course, golf courses, fairway, fairways, leisure, hobby, hobbies, ghost, ghosts, spectre, spectres, spirit, spirits, phantom, phantoms, haunt, haunting, haunts, haunted, relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship issues, husband, husband, wife, wives, couple, couples, widower, widowers, death
The Uncle Vinnie Insomnia Open
Tags:sport, sports, golf, golfing, golfer, golfers, open, opens, competition, competitions, contest, contests, playing golf, sleep, insomnia, restless, wakefulness, unable to sleep, night, nighttime, dark, insomniac, insomniacs, night owl, night owls, health, old age, middle age, middle-age, middle-aged, middle aged, growing old, growing older, getting old, getting older, age, aging, ageing
"Pretty good, but you're still slicing. Shorten your backswing and start down with your left hip."
Tags:shepherd, shepherds, sport, sports, golf, golfing, golfer, golfers, golf course, golf courses, coach, coaches, coaching, training, trainer, trainers, instructions, advice, instructor, instructors, animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, sheep, slicing, backswing, swing, golf swing, crook, crooks, golf club, golf clubs, teaching
"If you're so enlightened, how come you can't lick that slice?"
"Maybe we need different types of clubs for different types of situations."
Tags:history, historical, pre-history, pre-historical, prehistory, prehistorical, stone age, bc, b.c., before christ, paleolithic, palaeolithic, cave-dweller, cave-dwellers, cavemen, caveman, neanderthal, neanderthals, early humans, club, clubs, different, sport, sports, golf, golfing, golfer, golfers, golf club, golf clubs, putting, putter, putters, driver, drivers, invention, inventions, innovation, inspiration
"Is that what they teach you at caddy school, boy? How to stare at people?"
Tags:sport, sports, golf, golfing, golfer, golfers, caddy, caddies, golf course, golf courses, hazard, hazards, water trap, water traps, water hazard, water hazards, lost, ball, golf ball, golf balls, searching, looking, staring, insult, insults, insulting, grouchy, grumpy, moody, bad mood, old man, old men, man, men, unhelpful, education, school, schools, schooling, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence
A Golfer's Funeral
"Just give me a minute, Mr. Vice-President, and I'll try to explain the difference between contributions to the Nature Conservancy and greens fees."
Tags:golf, golfs, golfing, golfer, golfers, donation, donations, charity, charities, charitable donation, charitable donations, dan quayle, vice president, vice presidents, greens fee, greens fees, golf club, golf clubs, conservation, conservation club, conservation group, conservation groups, environmentalist, environmentalists, environmentalism, environmental group, environmental groups