Zeus injects himself with steroids before throwing lightning bolts
Tags:zeus, greek gods, greek god, myth, myths, mythology, lightning, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, bolt, bolts, throwing, throwing arm, muscle, muscles, biceps, arm muscle, arm muscles, sport, sports, baseball, pitcher, pitchers, pitching, steroids, steroid use, scandal, scandals, injecting, injecting steroids, cheater, cheaters, illegal steroids, illegal steroid use, needle, needles, steroid abuse
"It's called monotheism, but it looks like downsizing to me."
Tags:roman empire, christian, christians, christianity, god, gods, greek, roman, greek god, greek gods, myth, myths, mythology, mythological, monotheism, monotheist, monotheists, zeus, mercury, athena, downsize, downsizes, downsizing, job cut, job cuts, restructure, restructures, restructuring, corporate downsizing, layoff, layoffs, laid off, goddess, goddesses, pagan, pagans, paganism, spread of christianity, corporate culture
Deus ex Caffeina
Tags:coffee, coffees, caffeine, caffeine hit, coffee addict, coffee addicts, coffee addiction, coffee addictions, morning, mornings, monday, mondays, deus ex machina, greek, greeks, ancient greeks, tragedy, tragedies, greek god, greek gods, plot device, plot devices, solution, solutions, hopeless, hopelessness, hopeless situation, hopeless situations
"I can't believe I didn't think of this before."
Atlas holds up a football.
After the breakup of Bacchus, Inc.
"So Zeus was like their President Bill Clinton?"
The Ancient Enquirer: Woman Turns Into Pillar of Salt!
Tags:pillar of salt, pillars of salt, salt, lot, lot's wife, ado, edith, wife of lot, miracle, miracles, fantastical, old testament, jonah, legend of jonah, whale, whales, tabloid, tabloids, supermarket tabloid, supermarket tabloids, greek god, greek gods, supernatural, supernatural forces, unreliable, unreliable report, unreliable reports
Atlas Remembers Leg Day
"I hate to be a downer, but, statistically, people are more likely to die of heart disease than by getting
Tags:heart disease, zeus, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, god, gods, greek god, greek gods, roman god, roman gods, greek myth, greek mythology, statistics, hit by a bolt of lightning, stat, stats, unlikely, unlikely event, unlikely events, heart attack, heart attacks, heart disease, aim, aims, aiming, bad aim, poor aim, mock, mocks, mocking, disrespect, disrespects, disrespecting, disrespectful, throw, throws, throwing, bad shot, bad shots
"You're thinking of Zeus—he throws the lightning bolts."
Tags:god, gods, greek god, greek gods, ancient greeks, the ancient greeks, greek mythology, mythology, pagan belief, pagan beliefs, pagan, pagans, zeuz, god of lightning, lightning god, shovel, shovels, throwing dirt, mistake, mistaken, celebrity, celebrities, look alike, look alikes, look-alike, look-alikes, mount olympus, god of thunder, thunder god
The gods drink beer while Zeus throws a thunderbolt.
Tags:zeus, jupiter, lightning, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, olympian, olympians, greek god, greek gods, roman god, roman gods, dare, dares, daring, challenge, challenges, drinker, drinkers, drinking, drinking buddy, drinking buddies, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, bar, bartender, bartenders, bartending, dart, dart game, dart games, bar game, bar games, drinking game, drinking games
After the death of New York City, Zeus placed it in the heavens as a constellation.
Tags:new york, ny, urban, city, cities, constellation, constellations, star, stars, space, outer space, astronomy, astronomer, astronomers, astrology, astrologist, astrologists, science, zeus, greek, greek god, greek gods, greek mythology, myth, myths, legend, legends, history, historical, heaven, heavens, death, dead, borough, boroughs, five boroughs, manhattan, brooklyn, queens, the bronx, staten island, map, maps, outline, outlines, new, modern, modern life
Zeus lights a cigar with a lightning bolt.
"I believe you know Mars, God of Defense."
Tags:mars, god, gods, greek gods, greek god, roman god, roman gods, venus, zeus, myth, mythology, myths, roman myth, roman myths, ancient gods, pagan gods, pagans, paganism, mount olympus, mt. olympus, heaven, heavens, introduction, introductions, ex-girlfriend, ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, religion, religions, rome, roman, ancient gods, ancient god, aphrodite, ares
"What an absurd concept. Remove it!"
Tags:greek god, greek gods, greek architecture, classical order, order of columns, classic architecture, greek architecture, ancient greeks, ancient greece, greek mythology, totem pole, totem poles, stone mason, stone masons, column, columns, disappointment, disappointments, hierarchy, hierarchies, hierarchical structure, hierarchical structure, hierarchy of gods
"It used to just be flowers but now I also do subpoenas."
Charon rowing a boat of turkeys to their deaths.
Tags:turkey, turkeys, thanksgiving, thanksgiving turkey, thanksgiving turkeys, thanksgiving day, national holiday, nation holidays, underworld, the underworld, charon, greek god, greek gods, greek myth, greek myths, greek mythology, kharon, souls of the deceased, demon, demons, afterlife, the afterlife, judgement day
"I used to do it all myself, but now I have my lawyers handle it."
A Visit From The Procrastination Muse
Tags:work, working, worker, works, busy, overwork, overworked, stress, stressing, stressed, put off, putting it off, put it off, procrastinate, procrastinates, procrastination, procrastinated, waste, wasting, wastes, time, times, deadline, dead line, deadlines, dead lines, pressure, under pressure, distract, distracted, distraction, distractions, chore, chores, muse, musing, mused, muses, greek, greek god, greek gods, mythology, mythological, write, writing, writer, writers
"The National Rifle Association maintains a very powerful lobby up here."
Tags:religion, religious, god, gods, heaven, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, lightning, zeus, myth, myths, legend, legends, greek mythology, greek, greece, greek god, greek gods, thor, norse, norse mythology, weapon, weapons, gun, guns, gun control, firearm regulations, gun violence, shooting, lobby, lobbies, lobbyist, lobbyists, gun lobby, gun lobbyist, gun lobbyists, government, governments, gun laws, firearm laws, law, laws, regulation, regulations, gun regulations, violence, politics
"Looks like you're out for the season - you've got a torn rotator cuff."
Tags:history, myths, health, fitness, rotator cuff, rotator cuffs, injury, injuries, repetitive stress, throwing arm, throwing arms, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, zeus, jupiter, greek god, greek gods, roman god, roman gods, dl, disabled list, disabled lists, baseball, baseball player, baseball players, mankoff
Atlas balancing a beach ball on his shoulders.
"Darn - missed! I wish I had one of those space-based lasers."