"No talking back to the recorded seat-belt message."
"Another p**s and vinegar?"
Tags:bartender, bartenders, piss and vinegar, expression, expressions, aggressive, aggressiveness, aggressive energy, old man, old men, elderly man, elderly men, age, ageing, getting on, getting old, still got it, old curmudgeon, old curmudgeons, anger, angry, grump, grumps, grumpy, grouch, grouches, grouchy, alcohol, bar, pub
"Get that de Kooning sneer off your face. This is Turner!"
Tags:turner, art, modern art, romanticism, expressionism, expressionist, romanticist, paint, paints, painting, paintings, painter, painters, artist, artists, art museum, art museums, artwork, works of art, work of art, contemporary, artistic, j. m. w. turner, abstract, abstract expressionism, curmudgeon, curmudgeons, bad mood, bad temper, relationship, relationships, marriage, married, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, couple, couples, men, man, woman, women, exhibit, gallery, galleries, grouch, grump
"Harry's mood stabilized in '78, and it hasn't budged since."
Tags:grump, grumps, grumpy, crank, cranks, cranky, out of sorts, mood, moods, moody, anger, angry, furious, grouch, grouches, grouchy, husband, husbands, grandfather, grandfathers, grandparent, grandparents, mood stabiliser, mood stabilisers, mood stabilizers, mood stabilizer, stable, stablization, stablisation, set in his ways, old man, old men, old guy, old guys, scowl, scowls, scowling
"David believes in multiple universes—all of them lousy."
Tags:parallel universe, parallel universes, multiverse, the multiverse, multiple universes, multiverse theory, physics, cosmology, space, alternate universe, alternate universes, pessimist, pessimists, pessimistic, pessimism, grouch, grouchy, grouches, grump, grumpy, kill joy, kill joys, kill-joy, kill-joys, party, parties, cocktail party, cocktail parties, cosmic bruise
"The country grandpa came from was a stinking hellhole of unspeakable poverty where everyone was always happy."
Tags:grandparent, grandparents, granddad, granddads, grandpa, grandpas, grandfather, grandfathers, generations, old age, old people, elderly, elder, elders, grandchild, grandchildren, granddaughter, granddaughters, grandson, grandsons, ancestry, ancestors, ancestor, immigrant, immigrants, immigration, grumpy old man, grouch, grouchy, crotchety
Help the Humorless
Tags:killjoy, killjoys, humorless, humourless, unhappy, unhappiness, grump, grumps, grumps, first world problems, homeless, homelessness, panhandler, panhandlers, panhandling, beggar, beggars, begging, social inequality, inequality, grouch, grouches, grouchy, sleeping rough, rough sleeper, rough sleepers, poverty gap
"President Clinton's new health plan will make Americans stop feeling so bad-tempered and mean and rotten all the time, and then the pussy cats will all be very, very happy ever after."
"The forecast for today is grumpy."
Tags:weather, meteorology, meteorologist, meteorologists, weatherman, weathermen, forecast, forecasts, prediction, predictions, predicting the weather, mood, moods, bad mood, grumpy, grumpy mood, emotion, emotions, emotional, feeling, feelings, morning person, morning people, breakfast, morning, mornings, monday, mondays, monday blues, pre-coffee, pre-caffeine, before coffee, before caffeine, grump, grumps, today's forecast, grouchy, grouch, grouches, irritable, bad-temper, ill-temper, crabby
Laugh and the World Laughs with You, but Not on the I.R.T.
Tags:subways, transport, trains, subway, new york subway, new york subways, laughter, healing laughter, grouch, grouches, grouchy, grouchiness, mock, mocks, mocking, mockery, commute, commutes, commuting, commuter, commuters, transit, rapid transit, new yorker, new yorkers, public transport, public transportation, mankoff
Old Wine in an Old Bottle
Tags:single, singles, drink, drinks, drinking, alcohol, cocktail, cocktails, men, man, approachable, antisocial, sociable, social, introvert, introverts, unapproachable, graphic tshirt, graphic tshirts, graphic t-shirt, graphic t-shirts, cocktail party, cocktail parties, grump, grouch, grumpy, grouchy
"Hello. This is Dial-a-Grump. What the hell do you want?"
Tags:phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, calling, conversation, conversations, service, phone service, phone services, customer service, grump, grumps, grumpy, grouch, grouches, grouchy, moody, bad mood, irritable, old, elderly, old people, elderly people, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, old man, old men
"Let me see if I have it correctly, sir. To hell with the appetizer. A chopped sirloin that damn well better be rare. No goddam relish tray. Who cares which salad dressing, since they all taste like sludge?"
Tags:restaurant, restaurants, dining out, eating out, meal, meals, food, eating, dining, waiter, waiters, server, servers, waitress, waitresses, service, customer service, order, orders, ordering, menu, menus, double checking, double check, grump, grumps, grumpy, grouch, grouches, grouchy, moody, bad mood, irritable, old, elderly, old people, elderly people, senior, seniors, senior citizen, senior citizens, aging, ageing, growing old, growing older, getting older, getting old, growing old, old age, old man, old men, insulting, rude
"When did we go from being edgy to being cranky?"
"A large skim latte, double shot, no 'have an awesome day.'"