"He's a curmudgeon now, but he used to be just a mean old bastard."
"What's come over you since Friday, Miss Schemke?"
"I want some flowers that say 'Here, have some friggin' flowers.'"
"You don't seem to match the photograph on this license. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to smile."
"I'd just like to know what in hell is happening, that's all! I'd like to know what in hell is happening! Do you know what in hell is happening?"
"I suggest you air your woes through the media."
"Oh, God! Here comes little Miss Perky."
Tags:perky, irritating, irritation, irritations, frustration, frustrations, frustrating, frustrate, frustrates, annoying, friend, friends, friendship, friendships, frenemy, frenemies, yap, yaps, yappy, dog, dogs, chihuahua, chihuahuas, bloodhound, bloodhounds, grump, grumps, grumpy, cheerful, cheerfulness, sunny, disposition, dispositions
"They're all sons of bitches."
"You tested positive for being negative."
Tags:medicine, medical, doctor, doctors, nurse, patient, patients, test, testing, tests, test result, test results, result, results, positive, negative, optimist, pessimist, optimism, pessimism, unclear, over complicated, complicate, complicated, positive for being negative, mood, moods, grumpy, bad mood, negative outlook, outlook, pessimists
"How come I never see that smile?"
Tags:irony, ironic, couple, couples, artist, artists, art, self portrait, portrait, portraits, self-portrait, portraiture, paint, painter, painting, paints, smile, smiling, why do you think, stupid question, ask a stupid question, couples, couple, married life, marriage, fishwife, fish wife, miser, misers, misery, cranky, grumpy, reality, fantasy, expectation, realities, unhappy, unhappy marriage, nag, nagging
"I'm beginning to think it's salsa that's causing your mood swings."
Tags:relationship, relationships, relationship issues, relationship problems, marriage, marriages, married life, couple, couples, husband, husbands, wife, wives, spouse, spouses, food, salsa, diet, diets, health, healthy, eating habits, mental health, mood swings, psychology, grumpy, angry.moody, emotional, depression, bipolar, manic depression, trigger, triggers
"I have this fantasy of everyone else in my life reinventing themselves."
Tags:fantasy, dreaming, hoping, dream, grumpy, resentful, resent, reverse, inverse, inverted, asocial, dislikes, people person, stubborn, narrow minded, intolerant, utopia, jaded, tired, bored, self-interest, self-interested, self-centered, self-centred, selfish, callous, diva, divas, antisocial, expectation, expectations, expectant
"Another p**s and vinegar?"
Tags:bartender, bartenders, expression, expressions, aggressive, aggressiveness, aggressive energy, old man, old men, elderly man, elderly men, age, ageing, getting on, getting old, still got it, old curmudgeon, old curmudgeons, anger, angry, grump, grumps, grumpy, grouch, grouches, grouchy, alcohol, bar, pub
"Is he the God of the Old or the New Testament this morning?"
Tags:god, gods, bible, bibles, old testament, old testaments, new testament, new testaments, businesses, business, office, offices, secretary, secretaries, mood, moods, personality, personalities, grumpy, happy, kind, emotion, angel, angels, heaven, heavens, angel, angels, religion, religions, christian, christianity, jealous god, forgiveness, boss, bosses, angry, anger
God sits, wearing a shirt that says "O.M.G."
"I want an aisle seat in no smoking, lots of fresh air, proper maintenance, no cracks in the fuselage - and none of your frigging bug spray!"
Tags:airport, airports, air travel, air travels, difficult customer, difficult customers, tricky customer, tricky customers, fussy customer, fussy customers, flight, flights, customer satisfaction, customer experience, customer experience, aisle seat, aisle seats, non-smoking, bug spray, big sprays, grump, grumpy, old lady, old ladies, senior citizen, senior citizens, oap, oaps, pensioner, pensioners, old age, old-age
"Well, if I haven't captured the real you, kindly tell me who I have captured."
Tags:irony, ironic, couple, couples, artist, artists, art, arts, self portrait, portrait, portraits, self-portrait, portraiture, paint, painter, painting, paints, smile, smiling, why do you think, stupid question, ask a stupid question, couples, couple, married life, marriage, fishwife, fish wife, miser, misers, misery, cranky, grumpy, reality, fantasy, expectation, realities, unhappy, unhappy marriage, nag, nagging, canvas, interpretation, artistic flair, artistic license, license, license
"I'm not sending Christmas cards this year."
Dog joins the busking instead of attacking
Tags:sing, singing, busk, busking, busks, busked, busker, buskers, noise pollution, annoy, annoying, outside, loud, louder, loud, music, musical, instrument, instruments, accordion, accordions, dog, dogs, pet, pets, guard dog, guard dogs, unexpected, useless, attack, howl, howling, sing along, grumpy, grump, annoyed, irritate, irritated, noisy, accordion player, accordion players, noise
Why Uncle Abe Still Lives Alone"You call that clean?"
Tags:car, cars, vehicle, vehicles, automobile, automobiles, driving, driver, drivers, transportation, carwash, carwashes, car wash, car washes, filling station, filling station, fuelling station, fuelling station, garage, garages, service station, service station, servo, servos, attendant, attendants, complaint, complaints, complaining, chore, chores, never good enough, clean, cleaning, cleaner, cleaners, squeegee, squeegees, single, complainer, complainers, whiner, whiners, whining, nag, nags, nagging, bachelor, bachelors, picky, fussy, choosy, service, customer service, customer, customers, family, families, uncle, uncles, relative, relatives, living alone, relationship, relationships, relationship problems, relationship issues, grumpy, windshield, windshields, window, windows
"I'll have a nice day when I get damn good and ready."
"Knock it off, will you, Tom? I've had a lousy day."
Tags:dog, dogs, pet, pets, canine, canines, pet dog, pet dogs, going home, coming home, home time, hometime, switch, switched, swap, swapped, woof, irritating, irritant, anthropomorphism, anthropomorphic, human traits, human trait, human characterstiucs, dog owner, dog owners, pet owner, pet owners, grumpy, grump, disgruntled, bad day at work, lousy day, bad day, bad days, pay back, pay-back, taste of your own medicine, karma, revenge, inconsiderate
The Greeting Card and the Business Letter
Tags:post, posting, mail, mailing, mailman, mailmen, postman, postmen, mail carrier, mail carriers, postal worker, postal workers, send, sending, greeting card, greeting cards, card, cards, business, letter, letters, immature, childish, happy, unhappy, grumpy, grouchy, good mood, bad mood, juxtaposition, comparison, comparisons, contrast, contrasting, age, ages, grow up, grown-up, child, children, kid, kids, adults