"Cheap merch will only hold them for so long."
Tags:merch, merchandise, t-shirt, t-shirts, tshirt, tshirts, shirt, shirts, t-shirt gun, t-shirt guns, t-shirt launcher, t-shirt launchers, t-shirt cannon, t-shirt cannons, viking, vikings, knight, knights, guard, guards, riot, riots, castle, castles, medieval, invader, invaders, invasion, invasions, invaded, distraction, distractions, siege, sieges
"The Bluebird of Happiness is on his way. We're security."
Tags:animal, animals, talking animal, talking animals, bird, birds, bluebird, bluebirds, bluebird of happiness, happiness, happy, depression, mental health, sadness, sad, unhappy, security, frisk, frisking, search, searching, screening, protection, secret service, police, police officer, police officers, cop, cops, guard, guards, government, governments, terrorism, modern life
"Protect your family, protect your yard, and stop obsessing about port security."
Tags:protect, protects, protecting, protection, protections, security, security system, security systems, obsession, obsessions, obsessing, guard dog, guard dogs, guard, guards, guarding, worry, worries, worrying, worrier, worriers, anxious, anxiety, anxieties, therapist, therapists, therapy, psychologist, psychologists, psychology, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, psychiatry
Many walks past "Beware of our lawyer".
Tags:home, homes, house, houses, security, guard dog, guard dogs, guard, guards, beware, warning, warnings, advisory, advisories, fence, fences, protection, guarding, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, litigation, litigious, lawsuit, lawsuits, home security, personal security, crime
"Technically, I'm guarding two posts."
"I hope no one's noticed, but I am totally phoning it in today."
The Hall Of Mirrors Jeretski Palace, Plovdo
"I understand they have some lovely things."
Tags:protection, security, security system, security systems, surveillance camera, surveillance cameras, cctv, closed circuit television, home defence, home defense, armed, secure, protected, safety, safe, protect, guard, guards, guardian, guardians, gate, gates, locked, alarm, alarms, burglar alarm, burglar alarms, wealthy, rich, affluent, well-off, the one percent, the 1%, home, homes, house, houses, mansion, mansions, estate, estates, property, properties
"O.K. That covers the last meal. Now, which would you prefer, hanging, electrocution, or lethal injection?"
Tags:prison, prisons, jail, jails, incarceration, inmate, inmates, convict, convicts, prisoner, prisoners, criminal, criminal, crime, punishments, capital punishment, death penalty, officer, officers, guard, guards, jailer, jailers, prison guard, prison guards, note, notes, questionnaire, questionnaires, survey, surveys, data collection, last meal, last meals, meal, meals, food, hanging, electrocution, lethal injection, execution, executions, methods of execution, condemned, black humor, black humour, dark humor, dark humour
"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."
"Country Club Dungeon"
Tags:dungeon, dungeons, prison, prisoners, guard, guards, officer, officers, customer service, service, good service, good customer service, room service, snack, snacks, snacktime, snack time, country club, country clubs, fancy, expensive, swanky, posh, upscale, club, clubs, private club, private clubs, members only club, members only clubs, waiter, waiters, server, servers, cushy, comfortable, white-collar, the one percent, the 1%, crime, rich, wealthy, social status, class, high-society
"You're right, sir—it is cute. But the last time we let one of these things in the entire kingdom was overrun with ticks, mites, and fleas."
Tags:ancient, history, troy, trojan, trojan horse, greek, greece, horse, horses, dog, dogs, animal, animals, trick, tricks, castle, castles, kingdom, kingdoms, guard, guards, gate, gates, cute, tick, ticks, mite, mites, flea, fleas, disease, diseases, puppy, puppies, stray, strays, stray dog, stray dogs, homeless, carrier, carriers, hiding, hidden, overrun, trojan dog, dangerous, risky, risk, danger, dangers, unsafe
"Can I get that to go?"
Tags:jail, jails, jailed, jail cell, jail cells, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, prison cell, prison cells, imprison, imprisoned, criminal, criminals, crime, inmate, inmates, incarcerated, incarcerate, incarceration, behind bars, penitentiary, penitentiaries, correctional facility, correctional facilities, brig, brigs, jailer, jailers, prison guard, prison guards, guard, guards, warden, wardens, prison warden, prison wardens, take-out, take out, take-out order, take out order, ordering take-out, ordering take out, trick question, trick questions
"You bet I'd love a free trip to Cancún."
Tags:phone, phones, telephone, telephones, call, calls, calling, phone call, phone calls, telephone call, telephone calls, talking on the phone, talking on the telephone, phone conversation, phone conversations, telephone conversation, telephone conversations, telemarketing, telemarketer, telemarketers, tele-marketing, tele-marketer, tele-marketers, cold calling, cold calls, cold caller, cold callers, scam, scams, con, cons, fraud, trickery, free, free trip, free trips, cancun, mexico, won, winner, winners, vacation, vacations, holiday, holidays, travel, cruise, cruises, you've won, gullible, naive, stupid, dumb, incompetent, incompetents, incompetence, king, kings, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, guard, guards, knight, knights, modern life, too good to be true
"I wish you'd get into the spirit of this thing, Brewster!"
Tags:warden, wardens, condemned, condemned man, spirit, spirits, prison, prisons, prisoner, prisoners, prison guard, prison guards, guard, guards, jail, jails, jailed, crime, criminal, crime and punishment, criminals, capital punishment, execution, execute, executes, executioner, executioners, death, dead, dying, dead man, dead man walking, death penalty, penalty, the chair, electric chair, electric chairs, smile, smiling, content, contented, content with his lot
Perpetrator of a daring daylight illegal electronic transfer of funds fleeing the scene of the crime.
Tags:heist, heists, bank, banks, banking, banker, bankers, bank heist, bank heists, robbery, robber, robbers, robberies, bank robber, bank robbers, cybercriminal, cyber-criminal, flee, flees, fleeing, scene of the crime, online banking, internet banking, mobile banking, guard, guards, bank guard, bank guards, embezzle, embezzles, embezzling, white collar crime, injustice, classism, classist, perp, perps, perpetrator, perpetrators, unequal system of justice
"This date isn't going well, is it?"
Tags:date, dating, dates, dinner, dine, dinners, meals out, eating out, restaurant, restaurants, castle, castles, first date, first dates, turret, turrets, arrow, arrows, bow, bows, bow and arrow, firing, shooting, shoots, bad, badly, going well, isn't going well, absurd, absurdist, castle on head, head, heads, signal, signals, soldier, guard, soldiers, guards
"We had to let the animals go. No one informed them of their rights when they were arrested."
Tags:animal, animals, zoo, zoos, zoology, zoologist, zoologists, guard, guards, law, laws, law and order, rights, nature, wild, captive, animal rights, set free, miranda rights, police, policemen, policewomen, policeman, policewoman, cop, cops, crime, crimes, criminal, criminals, authority, authority figure, authority figures, innocent, innocents
Gateway to Mr. Beck
Tags:receptionist, receptionists, secretary, secretaries, pa, pas, threatening, scary, fierce, office worker, office workers, office work, office job, office jobs, waiting, waiting room, waiting rooms, gateway, gateways, gatekeeper, gatekeepers, protect, protection, appointment, appointments, guard, guards, guarding
"Let's focus on the case before you start thinking about befriending a guard."
Tags:court, courts, courtroom, courtrooms, trial, trials, legal system, justice system, law, legal, judge, judges, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, case, cases, focus, focusing, client, clients, defendant, defendants, defense, defence, security, guard, guards, befriending, befriend, friendship, friend, friends, mate, mates, hopeless
"They're always so surprised when someone disagrees with them."
Tags:king, kings, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, guard, guards, knight, knights, guardian, guardians, chasing, running, running away, escaping, following, threatening, disagreement, disagreements, disagree, disagreeing, surprised, surprise, shock, shocked, death threat, death threats, revolution, revolutions, rebellion, rebellions, history, historical, medieval
Medieval Cat Exits Via Medieval Catflap
Tags:castle, castles, keep, the keep, keeps, king, kings, feudal, feudalism, medieval, medieval history, historical, creature, creatures, undocumented history, griffin, griffins, myththological, mythology, ye olde, olde, england, olde england, guard, guards, cat, cats, pet, pets, domestic, domestic pet, cat flap, cat-flap, cat flap
"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."
Tags:king, kings, sovereign, sovereigns, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, monarchy, royal, royalty, politics, history, historical, medieval, politician, politicians, government, governments, lobbyist, lobbyists, lobbying, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, counselor, counselors, counsellors, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, solicitor, solicitors, barrister, barristers, legal counsel, guard, guards, knight, knights
"That's doctor inmate #2264."
Tags:title, titles, doctor, doctors, phdphds, doctorate, doctorates, graduate school, postgraduate, postgraduates, doctoral, degree, degrees, prison, number, numbers, name, names, prisons, jail, jails, criminal, criminals, convict, convicts, inmate, inmates, guard, guards, officer, officers, warden, wardens, self-important, ego, vanity, vain
"You may approach the giant novelty chair."
Tags:king, kings, ruler, rulers, monarch, monarchs, sovereign, sovereigns, royal, royalty, throne, thrones, royal throne, royal thrones, chair, chairs, novelty chair, novelty chairs, hand, hands, approach, petitioner, petitioners, citizen, citizens, servant, servants, guard, guards, giant, large, huge, big, strange, unusual, symbol, symbols, symbolic