"The meaning of life is cats."
"Mustard? Ketchup? Mayo? Talk to me, old man."
Tags:hot dog, hot dogs, hot dog stand, hot dog cart, hot dog truck, food truck, food trucks, food stand, food stands, food cart, food carts, street food, food vendor, food vendors, hot dog vendor, condiments, old age, old people, guru, gurus, hermit, hermits, fast food, toppings, extras, service industry, customer service
"Wear a helmet."
Tags:sport, sports, bicycle, bicycles, bicycling, cycling, bicyclist, bicyclists, cyclist, cyclists, helmet, helmets, wearing a helmet, bike, bikes, bike safety, bicycle safety, protection, safety, staying safe, injury prevention, mountain, mountains, mountain bike, mountain bikes, mountain biker, mountain bikers, biker, bikers, guru, gurus, wiseman, wisemen, wise man, wise men, sage, sages, monk, monks, buddhist, buddhists, buddhism, religion, religious, wise, wisdom, advice
"I'm not a guru. I'm just hanging out here till my renovation is done."
An enlightenment seeker heads back from Truth lookign shocked.
Tags:modern life, truth seeker, truth seekers, enlightenment, enlightened, seeker, seekers, wisdom, guru, gurus, disappointment, disappointments, shocked, sad, sadness, sorrow, underwhelm, underwhelms, underwhelming, spiritual journey, spiritual journeys, wise man, wise men, journey, journeys, disappoint, disappointing, reality, hard truth, hard truths
"Did you hire a consultant? I didn't hire a consultant."
Tags:consultants, business consultant, business consultants, consultant, meditation, meditations, business guru, business gurus, guru, gurus, corporate guru, corporate gurus, corporate environment, business advice, wisemen, wise men, wise man, wisdom, business advisor, business adviser, business advisers
"And this is my cousin Dave, who handles the conventional wisdom."
Tags:gurus, businessman, executives, lawyers, climbers, soul search, meditation, advice, professional, handoff, handoffs, lawyer, lawyers, lawyer up, lawyering up, conventional wisdom, amateur, amateurs, guru, wise man, wise men, mountain top, mountain tops, outsource, outsources, outsourcing, cousin, cousins, advice, adviser, advisers, advisor, advisors, legal team, legal teams, mankoff
"No, but I can tell you the meaning of whole or term life insurance."
Tags:life insurance, insurance, insurance broker, brokers, insurance brokers, sales, salesman, salesmen, sleazy, sleaze, fulfilment, pilgrim, pilgrimage, pilgrims, word play, play on words, word, words, enlighten, enlightenment, seeking enlightenment, mountain, mountains, guru, gurus, travelling salesman, market, marketing
A man seeking truth encounters a clown.
Tags:truth, wisdom, honest, honesty, sincere, sincerity, guru, gurus, spiritual journey, spiritual journeys, journey, journeys, enlightenment, enlightenment seeker, enlightenment seekers, wise, clown, clowns, truth seeker, truth seekers, pilgrim, pilgrims, spirituality, spiritual, philosophy, philosopher, comedy, comedy value
A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.
Tags:truth, truth seeker, truth seekers, truth seeking, treadmill, treadmills, pilgrim, pilgrims, spiritual journey, spiritual journeys, enlightenment, enlightened, wisdom, get nowhere, getting nowhere, guru, gurus, quest, quests, honest, honesty, integrity, personal truth, personal truths, sincerity, sincere
In the Guru District
"It's for my back. You have two more questions."
Tags:exercise ball, exercises balls, backache, back ache, back pain, modern life, modern times, modern attitudes, hermit, hermits, guru, gurus, wiseman, wisemen, wise man, wise men, health conscious, gym ball, gym balls, offices, office job, office jobs, office work, office worker, office workers, desk job, desk jobs
"I find the yoga helps me to be more irritating."
Tags:yoga, annoyance, annoyances, annoying, irritation, irritations, irritating, new age, hippy dippy, incessant, lifestyle, lifestyles, healthy lifestyle, healthy lifestyles, health nut, health nuts, yoga instructor, yoga instructors, yogi, guru, gurus, exercise, exercises, exercising, stretch, stretches, stretching
Life is a bitch and then you die.
Tags:guru, gurus, mountaintop, mountaintops, mountain-top, mountain-tops, wisdom, words of wisdom, advice, life's a bitch, saying, sayings, novelty shirt, novelty shirts, meaning of life, search, searches, searching, wisdom-seeker, wisdom seekers, mountain climber, mountain climbers, mountain climbing
"I hope you like sports metaphors."
Tags:guru, gurus, wiseman, wise man, wise, wisdom, hike, hiking, climb, climbing, knowledge, tv, t.v.television, advice, advise, climbs, seek, seeking, search, searching, sports, sport, football, baseball, metaphor, metaphors, sports metaphors, televisions, disappointment, disappointing, zen, teacher, teachers, master, masters, expert, experts, cliche, cliches
Tags:mountain, mountains, climb, climbing, climber, climbers, mountain climbing, mountain climber, mountain climbers, guru, gurus, wise, wiseman, wisemen, wisewoman, wisewomen, wise man, wise men, wise woman, wise women, wisdom, sage, sages, discover, discovery, find, mom, moms, mum, mums, mother, mothers, motherhood, parent, parents, parenthood, parenting, wise mother, wise mothers, wise parent, wise parents, parental advice, parental wisdom, motherly advice, motherly wisdom, kid, kids, child, children, adult kids, yoga, meditation
Coming Soon: Enlightenment and Pizza by the Slice.
"Tell me the truth—have I ever made tea come out of your nose?"
Tags:novel, novelty, monks, monk, religion, religions, religious, buddhist, buddhism, laughter, laughing, laughing stock, inappropriate, interruption, interrupt, interrupted, guru, gurus, tea ceremony, ritual, rituals, right for the job, job, jobs, work, career advice, career guidance, choosing the right career, choosing the right job, right career, right job
"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."
Tags:mountain, mountains, hermit, hermits, seek, seeking, advice, advisor, adviser, spiritual, spirituality, spiritualism, self help, reflection, reflect, meditate, meditation, hippy, hippies, guru, monk, monks, gurus, mountain man, witch doctor, reception, receptionist, modern, modern life, modern world, capitalism, capitalist, urban, urban life, paperwork, red tape, enlightened, enlightenment, find yourself
"I'm on sabbatical."
Tags:mountain, mountains, hermit, hermits, seek, seeking, advice, advisor, adviser, spiritual, spirituality, spiritualism, self help, reflection, reflect, meditate, meditation, hippy, hippies, guru, monk, monks, gurus, mountain man, witch doctor, preformative, enlightened, enlightenment, find yourself, sabbatical, sabbaticals, leave, sabbatical leave, career, career break, career breaks, out of office, out of the office
"So how does that eightfold path get us back on the Garden State?"
Tags:path to enlightenment, paths to enlightenment, new jersey, jersey, garden state, guru, gurus, wiseman, wise man, wisemen, wise men, wisdom, wisdom seeker, wisdom seekers, direction, directions, path, paths, enlighten, enlightens, enlightenment, hike, hikes, hiking, lost, wrong directions, philosophy, philosopher, philosophers
Tags:medicate, medication, medications, medicating, guru, gurus, spiritual adviser, spiritual advisers, spiritual advisor, spiritual advisors, hermit, hermits, spiritual journey, spiritual journeys, medicine, medicines, meaning of life, happiness, secret to happiness, good advice, philosopher, philosophers, philosophy
"Do I look like a wise man to you?"
Tags:fulfilling, fulfilment, pilgrim, pilgrimage, pilgrims, word play, play on words, word, words, enlighten, enlightenment, seeking enlightenment, mountain, mountains, guru, gurus, wisdom, words of wisdom, wise man, wise men, mountain top, mountain, isolated, isolate, prepper, preppers, antigovernment, anti government, cranky, antisocial, anti social, introvert, introverts, introverted, advice, no advice to give, bad guidance, guidance, mentor, mentors, mentorship, bad advice, bad counsel, surprise, not what it seems, reality, realities
"Up here! Beef jerky, trail mix, energy bars!"
Tags:beef jerky, trail mix, energy bar, energy bars, guru, gurus, salesman, salesperson, seller, sellers, opportunist, opportunists, entrepreneur, entrepreneurs, entrepreneurship, hike, hikes, hiking, hiker, hikers, walk, walks, walking, long walk, long walks, demand, demands, market demand, market demands, wise man, wise men, hiking trail, hiking trails, outdoorsman, outdoorsmen, commercialization, commercialisation
"You're not a goat person?"