"We're borrowing the best features of the Canadian system."
Tags:canadian mounted police, hospital, hospitals, patient, patients, healthcare, health care, canadian healthcare, canadian medical care, medical insurance, health insurance, doctor, doctors, canadian healthcare system, national health service, uniform, uniforms, canadian influence, canadian influences
"Me? I'm not in a dental plan. I thought you were in a dental plan."
"I'm just here for the dental."
Tags:prison, prisons, dental, insurance, insure, insured, health, dentist, dentists, health insurance, health-insurance, health plan, health-plan, healthcare, health-care, health care, jail, benefit, benefits, jail, jails, logical, law, laws, criminal, criminals, jailbird, jailbirds, treatment, treatments, universal healthcare
"Uh-oh, your coverage doesn't seem to include illness."
Tags:medical, word play, problems, insurance, health, fitness, disease, death, medicine, doctors, insurance coverage, health insurance, healthcare, insurance industry, insurance industries, bad coverage, bad insurance, american healthcare, american healthcare system, affordable, aca, affordable care act, obamacare, trumpcare, mankoff
"There will be a bit of a wait while we figure out a market solution to your problem."
Tags:emergency, doctors, medical, medicine, a&e, accident and emergency, accident & emergency, emergency room, er, free market, health insurance, health cover, health plan, healthcare cover, health-care cover, healthcare covers, health-care covers, crisis, healthcare plan, health-care plan, healthcare plans, health-care plans, single payer health care, universal health care, libertarian, laissez faire, laissez-faire, market solution, the free market, the free market provides, capitalism, socialism, health, care, doctors, medicine
"This patient has a rare form of medical insurance."
Tags:health insurance, insurance, insurances, health plan, health plans, healthcare plan, healthcare plans, health-care, healthcare coverage, health-care cover, health-care coverage, health care cover, healthcare cover, doctor, doctors, medical, medicine, diagnosis, diagnose, medicaid, hospital, hospitals, hospital bed, priority, priorities
Good Luck With the American Health-Care System
"Will I be penalized for not having health insurance if I'm young and I'm actually invincible?"
Tags:health insurance, mandate, mandates, healthcare mandate, healthcare, obamacare, repeal, repeals, repealing, tax, taxes, taxing, penalty, penalties, superhero, superheroes, liability, liabilities, insurance company, insurance companies, tax day, tax days, tax season, paying taxes, american healthcare
"Kids, your mother and I have spent so much money on health insurance this year that instead of vacation we're all going to go in for elective surgery."
"Is there a doctor who accepts Medicaid in the house?"
Tags:health, healthy, medical care, medicaid, health insurance, health insurances, health-insurance, health plan, health-care plan, healthcare plan, healthcare provider, insurance, health coverage, health-care coverage, medicaid, doctor, doctors, social insurance, social welfare program, social welfare, welfare program, affordable care act, aca, care, theatre, uninsured, insured, insuring, health-care plans, health plans, obamacare, insurance coverage, coverage
"And when the time comes the company will put you to sleep at its own expense."
"Good news, Mr. Herndon. We worked out the budget, and we have a kidney."
Tags:budget, budgets, kidney, kidneys, pig, pigs, pork, organ, organs, organ donation, organ donations, organ donor, organ donors, donate, donates, donating, transplant, transplants, transplanting, budget crunch, budget crunches, discount, discounts, discount deal, discount deals, doctor, doctors, physician, physicians, surgeon, surgeons, surgery, surgeries, american healthcare, healthcare system, healthcare systems, insurance, health insurance
"And, in our continuing effort to minimize surgical costs, I'll be hitting you over the head and tearing you open with my bare hands."
Tags:cost, costs, surgical cost, surgical costs, medical expense, medical expenses, medical bill, medical bills, insurance, american healthcare, healthcare, health care, health insurance, save money, saves money, saving money, operation, operations, expense, expenses, surgery, surgeries, surgeon, surgeons, cost-saving, cost-saving measure, cost-saving measures
"And, for insurance purposes, you must buy insurance."
Tags:insure, insurance, insuring, insurance purposes, self serving, self-serving, business, businesses, corporate culture, corporate-culture, force, forced purchase, unfair, government, executive, executives, governments, health insurance, mandatory, jargon, cliche, purposeless, circular, illogical, management, managing, managers, manager, interest, interests, authoritarian
"Actually, this is the one condition your insurance does cover."
"By your own admission, Bennett, you have twelve children. I'm afraid our insurance company defines that as a preexisting condition."
Tags:health insurance, health plan, health plans, health care plan, health care plans, insurance, insures, health-care plan, health care plans, health-care plans, health care plan, health care cover, health-care cover, preexisting condition, preexisting conditions, health, healthy, children, child, kid, kids, large family, health problem, health problems, perspective, approach
"He's in an H.M.O. Get some of the King's horses and a few of the King's men."
"Come quickly—I think I had an out-of-pocket experience."
Tags:doctor, doctors, hospital, hospitals, medicine, medicines, health, healthy, health-care, health care, healthcare, medicare, medi care, obamacare, obama care, health insurance, insurance, medical insurance, patient, patients, nurse, out-of-pocket, out of pocket, illness, ill, sick, sickness, disease, diseases, get well, get well soon, critic, critical, critique, critically
"I'm afraid your dental plan does not cover tusks."
Tags:dentist, dentists, dentistry, dentist surgery, dentists surgery, oral hygiene, dental hygiene, dental plan, healthcare, health insurance, health insurers, teeth, ivory, tusks, elephant, lion, capitalism, affordable healthcare, unaffordable healthcare, unaffordable, negligence, medical negligence, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, dental plans, dental insurance, coverage, terms of coverage
"Let's play health care!"
Tags:health care, health-care, health plan, health-plan, healthcare plan, health care plan, healthcare plans, health care plans, health-care plans, health-care plan, health insurance, insurance, insurances, precocious, health care coverage, health-care coverage, children, child, kid, kids, playing, plays, playing doctor, realistic, not childish
"Hey, little fella. Welcome to the risk pool."
Tags:risk pool, risk pools, high risk pool, high risk pools, healthcare, health care, american health care, insurance risk, insurance risks, insurance industry, health insurance, health insurance industry, bottom line, bottom lines, uncaring, dad, dads, father, fathers, newborn, newborns, baby, babies, infant, infants, cold calculation, cold calculations, greet, greets, greeting, parent, parents, new parent, new parents
"You can't be insured, Harry and Louise, because of your preëxisting condition."
Tags:health insurance, insurance, insurance company, insurance companies, medical insurance, medical insurance company, medical insurance companies, health insurance company, health insurance companies, healthcare, healthcare provider, healthcare providers, preexisting, preexisting condition, preexisting conditions, rejection, rejections, turned down, denied, ineligible, commercial, commercials, ad, ads, advertise, advertising, advertisement, advertisements, sick, sickness, ill, illness
"My career doesn't reflect what my passions are as much as where my health insurance is."
Tags:career, careers, careerist, careerists, health insurance, insurance, american healthcare, healthcare, aca, affordable care act, obamacare, ideal job, ideal jobs, dream job, dream jobs, practical, practicality, affordable healthcare, affordable, unaffordable, chronic illness, chronic illnesses, illness, sick, sickness, medical bill, medical bills, medical fee, medical fees, fee, fees, bill, bills
"Sorry, Sylvia, but your mother's long-term care has been going on just a little bit too long."
Tags:long-term care, long term care, insurance, mafia, medical insurance, health insurance, medical cover, health cover, insurance policy, medical care, hit, hits, assassination, assassinations, assassin, assassins, mobster, mobsters, insurance company, insurance companies, medical bill, medical bills, healthcare cost, healthcare costs, medical cost, medical costs
"Are we cold blooded enough to run an H.M.O?"
Tags:crocodile, crocodiles, alligator, alligators, health maintenance organization, hmo, h.m.o., health insurance, medical insurance, health service, health services, cold blooded, cold bloodedness, ethics, unethical, health insurance plan, health insurance plans, managed care, self funded healthcare, self-funded healthcare, reptile, reptiles, cruel, callous, callousness