Tags:heaven, heavens, dog, dogs, pet, pets, all dogs go to heaven, all dogs, all dog, good dog, good boy, good boys, childhood, childhood pet, anthro, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism, animals, animal, talking, talking animal, pet, pets, domestic pet, man's best friend, mans best friend, best friend, religious, religion, pearly gates, pearly gate, st peter, saint peter, unexpected
Heaven- A Gated Community
Tags:heaven, gates of heaven, christianity, christian, judaism, gated community, gated communities, exclusive community, exclusive communities, sins, sinners, denied entry, denied access, death, security, secure community, secure communities, wealth, privilege, property, properties, expensive property, expensive properties, exclusive property, expensive housing, exclusive housing, exclusive, exclusion, exclusive properties, unaffordable, unaffordable property, unaffordable properties, unaffordable housing, real estate, sign, signs, signage keep out, gate, gates, ornate gates, secure, protected, rejected, protect, protection, reject, rejection, pearly gates, pearly gate
"Wait. Don't look. O.K., over my left shoulder-is that God?"
"All dogs go to Heaven, because we're not the ones who screwed up."
Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"
Tags:religion, religious, death, life after death, heaven, angel, angels, clouds, self-serve, pharmacy, pharmacies, chemist, chemists, chemist's, pharmacists, pharmacists, drugstore, drugstores, drug, pharmaceuticals, pharmaceutical, medicine, medicines, meds, prescription, prescriptions, prescribed, medical, drug abuse, medicine abuse, prescription abuse, pharmaceutical abuse, addiction, addict, addicts, healthcare, health care, antidepressant, antidepressants, pill, pills
"If you laugh at all of God's jokes, he's never going to learn what's funny."
"Actually, I preferred 'Heaven,' too, but then the marketing guys got hold of it."
"Talk about heaven - eight francs to the buck and old Binky still a chiselled blonde."
"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."
Tags:god, gods, heaven, heavens, angel, angels, admit, admitting, admittance, embarrassing, embarrassed, embarrassment, reason, cause and effect, causality, philosophy, philosopher, philosophers, theism, theist, teists, metaphysics, teleologists, theory of everything, let down, let downs, let-down, let-downs, disappointment, disappointments, disappointing
"It saves energy and makes me feel holier."
"Is there any chance of getting my testicles back?"
"Did you bring a duplicate copy of your 'Times' obit with you?"
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, afterlife, heaven, heaven's gate, entrance to heaven, st. peter's gate, saint peter's gate, pearly gates, st. peter, saint peter, angel, angels, paperwork, document, documents, proof, evidence, death certificate, death certificates, government, governments, bureaucracy, duplicate, copy, copies, obituary, obituaries, obit, obits, news, newspaper, newspapers, media, getting into heaven
"All right. O.K. I'll admit that last request may have been a little over the top."
Tags:prayer, pray, praying, prayers, kneel, kneeling, god, gods, god in heaven, heaven, request, requesting, prayed, prays, religion, religious, religiously, religions, demanding, demand, demands, demanded, high maintenance, fickle, lightning, lightening, thunderbolt, thunderbolts, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, worship, worships
"It has yet to turn a profit."
Tags:god, gods, heaven, heavens, religion, religious, profit, profits, angel investor, angel, angels, startup, start-up, upstarts, upstart, up-start, stock, stocks, share, shares, share, stock broker, stock-broker, stock-brokers, stock market, internet, online, on-line, dotcom, dotcom boom, unicorn, unicorns, invest, invests, disappoint, disappointed
"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."
Tags:early detection, diagnosis, diagnoses, medical advance, medical advances, terminal, terminal illness, terminal illnesses, uncurable, condition, conditions, pearly gates, afterlife, st. peter, saint peter, heaven, heaven's gate, rare disease, rare diseases, disease, diseases, illness, illnesses, sickness, sick, prolonging life
"Wait, those weren't lies. That was spin!"
Tags:lie, lies, lying, spin, spins, spinning, spin doctor, spin doctors, damage control, saint peter, st. peter, pr, public relations, pr rep, pr reps, pr representative, pr representatives, heaven, heavenly gates, heaven's gate, gates of heaven, plead, pleads, pleading, lawyer, lawyers, attorney, attorneys, argue a case, arguing a case, argue, argues, arguing
Tags:god, heaven, gods, christian, lightning, lightning bolt, lightning bolts, extreme weather, bad weather, dog, dogs, pet, pets, pet dog, pet dogs, dog owner, dog owners, playing fetch, fetch, mythology, greek mythology, myths, god of lightning, zeus, thor, norse mythology, play, playing, perun, indra, hinduism, thunder, thunder storm, thunder storms, thunderstorm, thunderstorms, god of thunder
What Lemmings Believe
"Sure, I wanted my hair back, but not my seventies hair."
Tags:hair, haircuts, haircut, hair style, hair styles, style, styles, fashion, men's fashion, fashionable, out of fashion, out of style, outdated, seventies, 1970's, 70's, afro, afros, angel, angels, dead, death, dying, died, heaven, be careful what you wish for, bald, balding, hair thinning, receding hairline, hairline, big hair
"I just feel we'd know more people in Hell."
An angel looks at a news box containing the "International Herald Tribune".
"You. You. And you."
Tags:heaven, gates of heaven, the gates of heaven, heavens gates, pearly gate, pearly gates, angel, angels, bouncer, bouncers, security, security guards, security guard, crowd, crowds, queue, queues, selection, selection process, club, clubs, clubbing, admitting, admittance, admitted, exclusive, exclusion, elite, the elite, elites, chosen, chose one, the chosen ones, gods chosen ones, god's chosen ones, rope, ropes, barrier, barriers, ped barrier, ped barriers, crowd control, control, controls, controlled, contolling, crowd controlling, crowd controls, crowd controller, christianity, judaism, re teacher, religious education, re, religious studies, rs teacher, rs teachers, re teachers, pick, picking, choose, choosing, discriminate, discrimination, god
"Nobody 'leaked' your transgressions, Mister. We know everything up here."
Tags:religion, religious, death, after death, afterlife, heaven, heaven's gate, entrance to heaven, st. peter's gate, saint peter's gate, pearly gates, st. peter, saint peter, angel, angels, god, watching, leak, leaks, leaked, transgression, transgressions, sins, sinner, sinners, know, knowing, everything, surveillance, under surveillance, no privacy, invasion of privacy, security, entering heaven
"We design them here, but the labor is cheaper in Hell."
Tags:heaven, heavens, wing, wings, angel, angels, design, manufacture, manufacturing, manufactured, manufactures, labour, labor, cheap, cheaper, exploitation, worker, workers, capitalism, capitalist, exploitation, exploiting, race to the bottom, race-to-the-bottom, religion, religious, christianity, christains, eternal life, saint, saints, economic, economics, labor economics, labour economics, economist, economists
"You picked the wrong religion, period. I'm not going to argue about it."