"Well, you certainly seem to have a lot to offer this company, and, of course, the truffles are a hell of a plus."
"I'm afraid your M.B.A. loses some of its lustre in light of the fact that you were home-schooled."
Tags:
m.b.a., mba, degree, degrees, master of business of administration, home school, homeschool, homeschooling, home schooling, homeschooled, home schooled, homeschooling problems, home schooling problems, education, education level, education levels, student, students, job interview, interviewer, interviewers, recruit, recruiter, recruiters, human resources, hr, h.r., employer, employers, employee, employees, manager, managers, job hunting, job search, job, jobs, work, career, careers, unemployed, unemployment, unemployable, resume, cv, c.v., proud parent, proud parents, exaggeration, exaggerated, embellishment, embellish, hyperbole, false, fake, business, business degree, university, university degree, university degrees, college, college degree, college degrees, hire, hiring, achievement, achievements"I see by your résumé that you're a woman."
Tags:
resume, resumes, diversity, diversity hire, diversity hires, hiring, hire, hires, hiring officer, hiring officers, c/v, c/vs, feminist, feminists, feminism, glass ceiling, misogynist, misogynists, misogyny, qualification, qualifications, qualified, sexist, sexists, application, applications, job application, job applications"What the hell? We could use an idiot."
Tags:
idiot, idiots, hiring, hire, hires, hired, new guy, new guys, diversity, workplace diversity, diversity hire, diversity hires, positive discrimination, moron, morons, unqualified, incompetent, incompetence, application, applications, interview, interviews, interviewing, job interview, job interviews, worker, workers, working, colleague, colleagues, co-worker, co-workers"And, finally, are you now or have you ever been disgruntled?"
Tags:
disgruntled, warning sign, warning signs, employee, employees, hire, hires, hiring, hiring officer, hiring officers, personnel, personnel department, paranoia, paranoid, mass shooting, mass shootings, shooting, shootings, postal, going postal, job satisfaction, worker satisfactions, satisfaction, human resources"We're looking for people to fire."
Tags:
honest, honesty, honesty is the best policy, hire, hired, hiring, hires, personnel, hr, h r, h.r., human resources, business, big business, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, exec, execs, executive, manager, management, corporate, corporation, corporations, employment, employed, fire, fired, firing, office worker, office drone, office drones, excuse, excuses, interview, interviews, interview skills, capitalism, late stage capitalism, sardonic, sarcastic"I'm so glad you decided to participate in our Money for Employment program."
Tags:
work, working, works, world of work, worker, employ, employment, employing, recruit, recruiting, recruiter, recruitment, employed, employs, word play, word, play on words, hire, hires, hired, you're hired, money, pay, paid, pay day, payday, business, business, exploit, exploitation, capital, capitalism, capitalist, critical, critic, critique, office, offices"If we give you an office with a window, how do we know you won't just fly away?"
Tags:
bird, birds, birdman, birdmen, hiring, hiring process, hire, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, interviewer, interviewers, interviewee, interviewees, human resources, hr, h.r., recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, job application, job applications, applicant, applicant, searching for work, looking for a job, applying for a job, searching for a job, employee, employment, promotion, promotions, office manager, office managers, office management, businessman, businessmen, office, offices, office space, office spaces, anthropomorphic, anthropomorphism"I'm trying to find a way to balance your strengths against your felonies."
Tags:
hiring, hiring process, hire, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, interviewer, interviewers, interviewee, interviewees, human resources, hr, h.r., recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, c.v., c.v.s, cv, curriculum vitae, resume, resumes, job application, job applications, applicant, applicant, criminal record, felony, felonies, felon, felons, convict, convicts, crime, criminal, criminals, searching for a job, searching for work, looking for a job, applying for a job, white-collar crime, business, businessman, businessmen, corporate crime, corruption, unemployment, lawyer, lawyers, counselor, counselors, counsellor, counsellors, attorney, attorneys, barrister, barrister, solicitor, solicitors, client, clients, strength, strengths, weakness, weaknesses, suitability, balance"You fellas need a job?"
Tags:
wall, walls, border wall, border walls, border fence, border fences, mexico, mexican wall, mexican walls, laborer, laborers, outsource, outsources, outsourcing, hire, hires, hiring, construction, construction worker, construction workers, immigrant, immigrants, immigration, anti-immigration, trump, donald trump, border, borders, racism"We already have an eight-hundred-pound gorilla."
Tags:
800 lb gorilla, 800 pound gorilla, eight hundred pound gorilla, hire, hires, hiring, hiring officer, hiring officers, job interview, job interviews, redundant, redundancy, skill, skills, skillset, skillsets, skill set, skill sets, personnel, personnel department, hr department, human resources, qualified, qualifying, job candidate, job candidates, job interview, job interviews, interview, interviews, interviewing, stand out, stands out, standing out, unique"As corporate sniper, you'll of course be given an office with a window."
Tags:
office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, boss, bosses, hired, hire, new job, job, jobs, employee, employees, employment, gun, guns, gun control, second amendment, right to bear arms, firearm, firearms, handgun, weapon, violence, shooting, mass shootings, shootings, school shooting, school shootings, rifle, rifles, semiautomatic, automatic"That was fun—Now you're rehired."
Tags:
fire, firing, canned, canning, redundant, made redundant, redundancy, redundancies, cruel, cruelty, hire, hired, hiring, rehired, rehiring, re-hired, re-hiring, hierarchy, hierarchies, business hierarchy, business hierarchy, business executive, business executives, business manager, business managers, abuse of power, abusing power, abusive, bully, bullies, bullying, office bully, office bullies, office bullying, rat race, the rat race, getting fired"Miss Gaines, send in someone who reminds me of myself as a lad."
Tags:
intercom, executive, ceo, chief executive officer, middle aged, middle age, middle-aged, middle-age, cliche, cliches, phrase, phrases, business, businesses, film, tb, cliched, interview, promotion, interviews, promotions, recruitment, hiring, hire, hires, old ageComing Soon to an Office Near You: Invaders From the Planet of the Recent College Graduates
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graduates, younger generation, generation gap, youth, young, younger, hiring, hire, new hire, new hires, graduate, college grad, grad, grads, college grads, unemployment, unemployed, laid off, lay off, downsizing, cut, cuts, cutting costs, cutting cost, world of work, working world, millennial, millennial, baby boomer, baby boomers, age, ageingJones or Best Offer
Tags:
best offer, best offers, airport, airports, greet, greets, greeting, concierge, concierges, driver, drivers, driving, hired car, hired cars, car hire, car hires, mercenary, mercenaries, merc, mercs, airline, airlines, airline passenger, airline passengers, aeroplane, aeroplanes, hire, hired, hires, hiring, for hire, disloyal, disloyalty"It's not that I don't like the job you're doing—it's just that I'd like to start seeing other people do it."
Tags:
honest, honesty, honesty is the best policy, hire, hired, hiring, hires, personnel, hr, h r, h.r., human resources, business, big business, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, exec, execs, executive, manager, management, corporate, corporation, corporations, employment, employed, fire, fired, firing, office worker, office drone, office drones, excuse, excuses, workplace, unfair, job, jobs, working world, world of work, capitalism, late stage capitalism, sardonic, sarcastic"They say you are a great warrior."
Tags:
business, businesses, business man, businessman, businessmen, business men, warrior, warriors, war, wars, desk, desk job, executive, executives, hr, h r, human resource, human resources, resume, resumes, cv, hire, hired, hiring"You'll be a perfect addition to our expendable workforce."
Tags:
business, businesses, company, companies, corporate, corporation, corporations, management, manager, managers, executive, executives, hierarchy, employee, employees, worker, workers, expendable, unimportant, replaceable, disposable, not important, lowly, low, low man on the totem pole, office life, office, offices, position, positions, rank, ranks, perfect addition, perfect additions, hiring, hire, hired, new worker, new employee, new workers, new employees, recruit, recruiter, recruiters, recruitment, hr, human resources, h.r."I'm looking to hire a C.F.O. Anyone interested?"
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job, jobs, job search, hire, hiring, now hiring, contingent work, day laboring, day labouring, day laborer, day labourer, low-skilled work, low-skilled worker, low-skilled workers, c.f.o, chief financial officer, chief financial officers, finance, finance sector, executives, executive, execs, exec, skills shortage, skills shortages"O.K., I'm good for I.T.—how about spreadsheets, anybody here good at spreadsheets?"
Tags:
office, office life, worker, workers, employee, employees, job, jobs, work, business, businessmen, businessman, manager, managers, hire, hiring, day laborer, day laborers, day labourer, day labourers, workmen, workman, skill, skills, it, i.t., information technology, spreadsheet, spreadsheets, undocumented, contractor, contractors, boss, bosses, parking lot, parking lots, modern life, unemployment, unemployed"Your resume is remarkably similar to our CEO's."
Tags:
hire, hired, hiring, employed, employing, employer, human resources, hr, h r, personnel, cv, cv skills, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, interview skills, resume, resumes, résume, résumes, ceo, chief executive, exec, execs, executives, viking, vikings, raid, raider, raiders, raiding, historical, historically, barbarian, barbarians, businessman, business man, businessmen, business men, management, manager, managers, ethics, ethical, corporate, corporation, corporations"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."
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crusade, crusades, crusader, crusaders, battle, historical, historically, feudal, feudalism, peasant, peasants, soldier, soldiers, medieval, warrior, warriors, siege, sieged, sieges, battle, battles, march, marches, marching, vanguard, visgoth, visgoths, goth, goths, the goths, europe, european history, wild card, wild cards, mercenary, mercenaries, game theory, game theories, hired, hire, for money, war, wars"They tell me you're a nincompoop, Henderson, but you certainly do know how to maintain a crease."
Tags:
idiot, idiots, idiocy, priority, priorities, business, hiring, hired, hire, new hire, new job, desk job, business fashion, formal business, business attire, attire, interview, interviewed, press, pressed, suit press, pressed suit, crease, creases, creased, maintain, maintenance, incompetent, incompetence, management, manager, managing, nincompoop, modern life, modern world, talent, talents, value, values, dress, dress the part, fake it, fake it til you make it, employ, employed, new job, new career, congratulations