"My leaving Wilkins & Jennings was perfectly amicable. They felt that I should be fired, and I agreed."
Tags:firing, fired, sack, sacked, sacking, unemployed, unemployed, unemployment, employ, employment, employs, employment, hiring, hired, personnel, staff, amicable, optimistic, optimism, business, businesses, office, offices, spin, spinning, positive, positive spin, spins, job, jobs, fire, recruitment, recruiting, worker, workers, quit, quitting, quits
"What the hell? We could use an idiot."
Tags:idiot, idiots, hiring, hire, hires, hired, new guy, new guys, diversity, workplace diversity, diversity hire, diversity hires, positive discrimination, moron, morons, unqualified, incompetent, incompetence, application, applications, interview, interviews, interviewing, job interview, job interviews, worker, workers, working, colleague, colleagues, co-worker, co-workers
"We're looking for people to fire."
Tags:honest, honesty, honesty is the best policy, hire, hired, hiring, hires, personnel, hr, h r, h.r., human resources, business, big business, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, exec, execs, executive, manager, management, corporate, corporation, corporations, employment, employed, fire, fired, firing, office worker, office drone, office drones, excuse, excuses, interview, interviews, interview skills, capitalism, late stage capitalism, sardonic, sarcastic
"I'm so glad you decided to participate in our Money for Employment program."
Tags:work, working, works, world of work, worker, employ, employment, employing, recruit, recruiting, recruiter, recruitment, employed, employs, word play, word, play on words, hire, hires, hired, you're hired, money, pay, paid, pay day, payday, business, business, exploit, exploitation, capital, capitalism, capitalist, critical, critic, critique, office, offices
"We're interested in words, not deeds."
Tags:word, words, deed, deeds, public relations, pr, pr department, pr departments, representative, representatives, representation, personal representative, personal representatives, personal representation, action, actions, actions speak louder than words, hiring, hired, hiring officer, recruit, recruits, recruiting, job candidate, job interview, job interviews, superficial, superficiality, surface-level
"And Thursday is karaoke night."
Tags:office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, hiring, hired, hiring manager, manager, managers, employment, employee, employees, get together, gathering, karaoke, sing along, trend, trends, perk, work perks, benefit, benefits, modern life, new hire, new employee, new hires, new employees, new staff
"As corporate sniper, you'll of course be given an office with a window."
Tags:office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, boss, bosses, hired, hire, new job, job, jobs, employee, employees, employment, gun, guns, gun control, second amendment, right to bear arms, firearm, firearms, handgun, weapon, violence, shooting, mass shootings, shootings, school shooting, school shootings, rifle, rifles, semiautomatic, automatic
"That was fun—Now you're rehired."
Tags:fire, firing, canned, canning, redundant, made redundant, redundancy, redundancies, cruel, cruelty, hire, hired, hiring, rehired, rehiring, re-hired, re-hiring, hierarchy, hierarchies, business hierarchy, business hierarchy, business executive, business executives, business manager, business managers, abuse of power, abusing power, abusive, bully, bullies, bullying, office bully, office bullies, office bullying, rat race, the rat race, getting fired
"This resume appears to cover only the last forty-five minutes."
Tags:new, recruit, recruiting, experience, experiences, resume, resumes, cv, curriculum vitae, lacking, lacks, lack, inexperienced, inexperience, youth, young, qualification, qualifications, under-qualified, under qualified, recruit, recruitment, recruiting, recruits, recruiter, recruiters, training, trainers, interview, interviews, hiring, hires, hired, hires
Jones or Best Offer
Tags:best offer, best offers, airport, airports, greet, greets, greeting, concierge, concierges, driver, drivers, driving, hired car, hired cars, car hire, car hires, mercenary, mercenaries, merc, mercs, airline, airlines, airline passenger, airline passengers, aeroplane, aeroplanes, hire, hired, hires, hiring, for hire, disloyal, disloyalty
"It's not that I don't like the job you're doing—it's just that I'd like to start seeing other people do it."
Tags:honest, honesty, honesty is the best policy, hire, hired, hiring, hires, personnel, hr, h r, h.r., human resources, business, big business, businessman, businessmen, business man, business men, exec, execs, executive, manager, management, corporate, corporation, corporations, employment, employed, fire, fired, firing, office worker, office drone, office drones, excuse, excuses, workplace, unfair, job, jobs, working world, world of work, capitalism, late stage capitalism, sardonic, sarcastic
"They say you are a great warrior."
"You'll be a perfect addition to our expendable workforce."
Tags:business, businesses, company, companies, corporate, corporation, corporations, management, manager, managers, executive, executives, hierarchy, employee, employees, worker, workers, expendable, unimportant, replaceable, disposable, not important, lowly, low, low man on the totem pole, office life, office, offices, position, positions, rank, ranks, perfect addition, perfect additions, hiring, hire, hired, new worker, new employee, new workers, new employees, recruit, recruiter, recruiters, recruitment, hr, human resources, h.r.
"The salary is unimportant—I'll just siphon off what I need."
Tags:businesses, money, corrupt, corruption, corporate, corporation, executive, executives, human resources, hiring, hires, recruit, recruits, hired, embezzle, embezzled, embezzling, corporate culture, elite, elites, elitism, ethic, ethical, ethics, morals, morality, criminal, criminals, human resource, human-resources, human-resource, corrupts, embezzlement
"Frankly, we're at a loss, so we're looking for someone young and stupid to tell us what to do."
Tags:generations, generation, generation gap, age gap, age, ages, baby boomer, baby boomers, boomer, boomers, middle age, middle aged, young, youth, office, offices, business, businesses, businessman, businessmen, executive, executives, failing business, millennial, millennials, college educated, university educated, fresh start, new ideas, new idea, suggestion, suggestions, hiring, hired, new hire
"I fear there are only so many bamboo metaphors the average reader can tolerate."
Tags:interview, interviews, interviewer, interviewee, interview skills, interview skill, get hired, hired, hiree, hiring, hires, new hire, new hires, panda, pandas, talking animal, talking animals, job, jobs, new job, new jobs, working world, work, world of work, editorial, editor, editors, censor, censorship, metaphor, metaphors, puns, pun, overused, overuse, over used, over use, bamboo, bamboo joke, panda, pandas, cute, cute animals, manuscript, manuscripts, agent, agents, rejection, reject, rejected, book, books, bookish, book worm, book worms
"Your resume is remarkably similar to our CEO's."
Tags:hire, hired, hiring, employed, employing, employer, human resources, hr, h r, personnel, cv, cv skills, interview, interviews, job interview, job interviews, interview skills, resume, resumes, résume, résumes, ceo, chief executive, exec, execs, executives, viking, vikings, raid, raider, raiders, raiding, historical, historically, barbarian, barbarians, businessman, business man, businessmen, business men, management, manager, managers, ethics, ethical, corporate, corporation, corporations
"At this point, I'm just happy to still have a job."
"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."
Tags:crusade, crusades, crusader, crusaders, battle, historical, historically, feudal, feudalism, peasant, peasants, soldier, soldiers, medieval, warrior, warriors, siege, sieged, sieges, battle, battles, march, marches, marching, vanguard, visgoth, visgoths, goth, goths, the goths, europe, european history, wild card, wild cards, mercenary, mercenaries, game theory, game theories, hired, hire, for money, war, wars
"They tell me you're a nincompoop, Henderson, but you certainly do know how to maintain a crease."
Tags:idiot, idiots, idiocy, priority, priorities, business, hiring, hired, hire, new hire, new job, desk job, business fashion, formal business, business attire, attire, interview, interviewed, press, pressed, suit press, pressed suit, crease, creases, creased, maintain, maintenance, incompetent, incompetence, management, manager, managing, nincompoop, modern life, modern world, talent, talents, value, values, dress, dress the part, fake it, fake it til you make it, employ, employed, new job, new career, congratulations
"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."
Tags:writer, writers, novel, novella, novels, novel writing, poem, poet, poetry, poets, poetic, literature, literary, word play, play on words, ironic, irony, author, authors, authored, book, books, book lover, writing, should be writing, you should be writing, manuscript, artistic, artist, artists, art, arts, culture, cultured, writer's block, bookworm, book worm, bookworms, book worm, book, books, novel, novels, library, librarians, librarian, book lover, book lovers, literature, literary, lit, lit major, read, reading, avid reader, readers, reader, novel, novels, novelist, novelists, purple prose, proust, fake, faked, crap, full of crap, pretend, impostor, hire, hired, date, dates
"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."
Tags:sleeping, sleeping with the fishes, concrete, concrete shoes, shoes, mob, mobs, mafia, mafias, mafioso, hit, hit man, hitman, hit men, hitmen, contract killer, kill, killer, lamp, lamps, lampshade, lamp shade, hired killer, contract, hired, hired gun, decor, decorate, decoration, decorating, interior design, interior decor, assassin, assassins, assassination, assassinations
"You're desperate - I like that."
Tags:interview, interviews, interviewing, interviewee, interviewer, interviewers, interviewees, recruit, recruitment, recruiter, recruiters, job, jobs, job search, career, careers, job recruiter, job recruiters, corporate recruitment, corporate, hiring, hired, hire, hiring manager, hiring managers, unemployed, unemployment, desperate, desperation, need work, application, applied, resume, cv, credentials, skills
"You'll notice that I was born in 1968—a very prestigious year."
Tags:interview, interviews, interviewing, interview skills, interview success, success, blag, blagging, brag, bragging, hired, hiring, application, apply, applying, work, working, new job, new jobs, career, careers, career advice, arrogance, arrogant, boast, boasting, ego, egos, praise, praising, pride, proud, talent, talents, skill, skills, cv, cv skill, cv skills, resume, resumes, good resume, good resumes, resume writing, cv writing, world of work
"We hired all the designers ourselves."
Tags:home, homes, house, houses, design, designs, designer, designers, interior design, interior designer, interior designers, interior decorating, interior decorator, interior decorators, home decor, decor, decoration, decorations, redecorating, decorating, apartment, apartments, flat, flats, living room, living rooms, hire, hired