Hospitals Cartoons

"We're borrowing the best features of the Canadian system."

"I'm afraid you're retaining lawyers."

"Worse."

"This patient has a rare form of medical insurance."

"You should just feel a tiny prick, and then a lifetime of morphine addiction."

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

"It's kittens."

"Kids, your mother and I have spent so much money on health insurance this year that instead of vacation we're all going to go in for elective surgery."

"Clear!"

"We got him onto an exercise bike, but I'm afraid it was too late."

"We began with a hip replacement and just sort of riffed off that."

"Now with a firm twist, I'll remove his attorney."

THE DOCTOR'S DILEMMA

"Would you describe the pain everyone else causes you as dull and throbbing or sharp like a knife?"

"So when do we go online?"

"If I knew where I'd lost the sponge, it wouldn't be lost, now, would it?"

"I have no objection to alternative medicine so long as traditional medical fees are scrupulously maintained."

"Come quickly—I think I had an out-of-pocket experience."

"What about that! His brain still uses the old vacuum tubes."

"We find pizza softens the blow of bad news."

"I'll have someone come in and prep you for the bill."

"Just take a seat, Mr. Bern. You're acting as if you were the only one here who's been shot."

"But think of all the things you're not going to die of."

"The ultrasound showed it wasn't a pearl, but I am pregnant."

"You appear to have caught that bug that's been going around my waiting room."