Host Cartoons

"I've just found out what happened to the Hendersons."

"If you represent special interests, I can seat you immediately."

"So, for Ralph, Betsy, and the rest of us here at Action News, good night!"

"In case of a loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you for two dollars."

"Certainly. A party of four at seven-thirty in the name of Dr. Jennings. May I ask whether that is an actual medical degree or a Ph.D.?"

"I feel that if I wait here long enough Oprah will give me something."

"We didn't have time to pick up a bottle of wine, but this is what we would have spent."

"I thank you guys for a wonderful time—and for giving me the opportunity to access some laughter!"

"Sure, they drank it - but did they get it?"

"I never watched him at eleven-thirty-five and I didn't watch him at ten, and now, once again, I won't be watching him at eleven-thirty-five."

"We're still moving in."

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."

"You remember Champ. . ."

D.J. Vu

"And thanks for the potluck."

Joe Franklin

"They're not dingy, Mother, they're unbleached."

"I've spent the summer speaking out against violence."

"Turning to the City Hall forecast, this brief period of contrition will be followed by increasing testiness, leading to major squalls on Monday."

"I wish we could stay longer, Adam, but Don just doesn't think the security's adequate."

"We'll alternate the windbags with the hard-of-hearing."

"Now, you wait right here while I go ask my wife for a divorce."

Overfilling the Glass

The Icebreaker

"Afterward, there will be a short Q. and A. that will be just long enough for one person to take up too much of it."