Identities Cartoons

"Well, it certainly explains why everyone's so nice!"

"I'm not sure what I am, but I believe I'm a product of Norway."

"Hi. I'm John, your date for this evening. I've brought my résumé and letters of recommendation."

"I am a member of the legal profession, but I'm not a lawyer in the pejorative sense."

"Boys and girls,...may I call you boys and girls?"

"Did you realize that every woman here is Cindy Sherman?"

"I wish my identity weren't so wrapped up with who I am."

"I don't care if it's not you. That's the Social Security number you've been using."

"Tell me again—which blond actress is she the blond-actress daughter of?"

"I don't think of myself as a wolf man or a wolf woman-I'm just a human, who is also a wolf, who eats humans."

"It's a pluot—an apricot that self-identifies as a plum."

"We can't imagine what a spider thinks, Louisa, because it's a whole different life style."

"Am I the smart one and you're the pretty one or is it the other way around?"

"I think I'm mystery meat."

"I don't like to define myself by whose nanny I am."

"I want to forewarn you—tonight's topic seems to be phallocentrism, and Jessica is in a take-no-prisoners mood."

Kevin's Eleven-Thousandth Day of Being Kevin

"I finally memorized my bug number."

"I assume it's a different Rudy."

Brad! Who's that singer I cry to when I'm drunk?

"Please make regular coffee in the pot with brown trim and decaffeinated coffee in the pot with orange trim, so people can tell what kind it is. And do not tarry at the vaulted coffee niche."

"You know, it would be encouraging if, as my lawyer, you weren't also doing that."

"Look, babe. At this point, you've reinvented yourself so many times you're back to who you were at the start."

"I know you want me to be someone else—but someone else is not me!"